Page 74 of Cruel Existence

She shook her head. “You’ll just leave me, Luka. How do I trust this isn’t a power play?”

I stopped what I was doing. I slid my fingers from inside her. I saw the pain. The bottomless pools of sadness. Fuck. She had been so alone. I had done this to her, and I still couldn’t tell her the truth.

She would hate me. Forever.

I climbed on the bed, cupping the side of her face. I placed a kiss on her forehead, followed by one on her temple. I kissed her throat and behind her ear. She sighed, her arms wrapping against my neck bringing my mouth to hers.

“Shh,” I soothed her. “Never again. I wouldn’t hurt you like that again. You know I was trying to protect you from that offer your father made. You wanted your freedom even then.”

She nodded. “I know. It’s why I wanted to see you at Marguerite’s before you left for Europe. You should have told me though. I had a right to know he tried to trade me for the tunnels.”

I swallowed. She had no idea, I did it to keep her alive. I cared about her feelings—but her life meant everything to me.

“We were younger then. Our destinies controlled by others. That’s not so anymore, is it?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“You’ve grown up.” I grinned.

“I’ve had to protect myself,” she whispered. “I had no one.”

I still couldn’t wrap my head around the girl she had been had transformed into this powerful woman. The chemistry between us was strong, not chipped or cracked from time apart. No matter who either of us had become we were still tied together. Vendettas, power struggles, families. It didn’t fucking matter.

“There was no other way.” I stared into her eyes. The murder and the kidnapping were poisonous demons that dared to split us into fragments.

“It made me this woman. You made me this woman.”

Fuck me. I wanted to know everything about her now.

I brushed her lips with my thumb. “I won’t hurt you again. Say it.” My hand slid over her breast, teasing her nipple withpressure as I glided along her waist and hips. “Beg me. Only me. No other man. No other has this control over you.”

I saw the power struggle playing out in her mind. She had to relent. To release herself to me. It was the only way this would work. My thumb ran over her lips before I moved her knee wider.

“Tell me you didn’t dream of this. Tell me you didn’t think about that day.”

“Always,” she whispered.

“Then say it. And it can be like that again. The way it always should have been. We have so much time to make up for.”

I made a path against the silky skin on her inner thigh. She shivered. My fingers clawed against the softness of her leg.

“It destroyed me, Luka.” Her voice cracked. I knew this was a vulnerable side of her she never revealed. A queen couldn’t be vulnerable.

My eyes closed. Fuck. The guilt hammered hard. “I know. It destroyed me too to leave you.” I lapped against her nipple, taking the bud into my mouth. My tongue swirled and flicked. I was relentless. I wouldn’t stop until she knew this was one act of atonement. One moment I could give her pleasure. One tiny stitch over the scar I had made.

Her hips wiggled and bucked, inching my fingers closer, but I wasn’t going to satisfy her until I knew it was exactly what she wanted. Never again would I hurt her the way I had. I wanted her to say the words. To make the world right side up again.

We needed for me to be buried inside her. We needed a release of the pent-up frustration. The years of longing. The years of yearning. Of not being satisfied by other lovers. Butbefore I coaxed the most important words from her lips there was a loud banging on the door.

“Amara!” The loud voice boomed.

Fuck. I hung my head.

“It’s ok, Ciro. I’m busy.” Our eyes met. “I’ll make him leave.”

“No, you have an urgent call. You’re needed,” he yelled through the door.

She looked at the door and then at me. “I’m sorry. I’m expecting a call. It’s important. He knows not to interrupt me. I have to take it.”

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