Page 54 of Cruel Existence

“What do you mean ending?” Her eyes darted back and forth. It was hard to imagine I wasn’t going to see them again. The green flames I dreamed about.

“I’m taking the red-eye to Paris tonight.”

Her face paled. “Why? For how long? When are you coming back?”

“I’m not.”

“But that can’t be?—”

“It doesn’t matter why. I’m leaving tonight and I’m not coming back to New Orleans. I’m taking over all the Novikov operations in Europe. We have an extensive vineyard operation in the champagne business. It’s where I will work.”

“But you said you were your father’s right-hand, didn’t you? How can you leave him? That doesn’t make any sense.”

I didn’t want her to try to put pieces of a puzzle together. I had to get the fuck out of here.

“I can ask Marguerite to bring you a ’98?—”

“I don’t care about champagne right now.” Her voice tinged with rage. “You didn’t mention Paris before.”

“I didn’t tell you everything,” I admitted.

“But you’re supposed to stay here in New Orleans.”

I tilted my head. “I’m taking over the European arm. It needs to be done.” I pressed my lips together. “But the text you sent. I thought I should stop by and say goodbye. Tell you for the last time.” The words came out mangled. If she had sent it thirty minutes later, I would have already been at the airport. We wouldn’t be having this conversation.

“I hope you enjoy New Orleans, Amara.” I rose to my feet. Anthony was waiting for me outside.

“But you can’t go. Not after what I found out,” she whispered.

My heart clenched. Did she know about Uncle Ivan? I straightened my spine. “And what did you find out?”

She exhaled. The candle wavered. “My father told me tonight about the merger offer. I know what he proposed.” She scanned my face. “The offer to...” She couldn’t say the words.

“Broker our engagement?” I did the hard part for her.

“Yes. That. It’s why you freaked out, isn’t it? Still shitty, but what he did…what my father tried to do…” Her hands scrambled to mine, rubbing over the top of my knuckles, urging me sit back down next to her.

She was making this harder than it had to be. I couldn’t stop myself from tangling my fingers against hers. I leaned toward her over the table.

“Is that why? Tell me the truth. You threw me out of your apartment after we… because he tried to force you to marry me?”

I hung my head. “Shit.”

“If you’re leaving, can’t you at least be honest? It was his fault wasn’t it?”

Was this the coward’s way out? I could shift all the blame on her father. Maybe she would grieve less when Maksim killed him.

She had me. What did I have to lose? “Yes. I freaked out. For both our sakes. I knew it wasn’t what you wanted or what I wanted. Not right now, at least. And to trade you for the hotel. I was pissed. I lashed out. I did what I was trained to do. There was no other option. Marriage to you is out of the question.”

I saw the pain shoot across her face. Fuck. Why did I have to keep hurting her this way?

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” she whispered. “We haven’t figured this out.”

“Figured what out?” I pressed my forehead to hers. I could smell her shampoo. The watermelon lipgloss on her lips. I was fucking slipping. Toward her.

“What do we do now?” she whimpered. “You can’t leave.”

“I get on the plane to Paris. You keep knocking ‘em dead here, killer.”

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