Page 53 of Cruel Existence

I had volunteered to oversee the new Bratva training. It would be hard, vicious work that would punish my body and exhaust every part of my soul. I craved the punishment. I didn’t know any other way to atone for what had to be done. My father would take care of acquiring the Vieux Carre once Amato was dead and Amara was back in Philadelphia. Until then, I would stay away.

Nikoli, Maksim, and I walked outside together. A barge floated past us on the river.

“Begin your surveillance tonight,” I commanded. “I want a report in the morning.”

I ducked into the back of the car. The cool leather was a relief. I stared straight ahead.

“We’ll be at the airport in thirty minutes, sir” Anthony announced.

“Fine.” I looked down when my phone buzzed.

It was a text from Amara. Fuck. What was she doing? I read it quickly. I closed my eyes, fighting off my instincts. Fighting off duty. I groaned.

“Anthony, I need you to stop somewhere on the way to the airport,” I announced. The blood pounded between my ears. This was a fucking mistake. I knew it the instant I saw her name.

“We’re running tight on time, sir.”

I balled my fists in my lap. “I don’t care. We’re going to make a stop. I’ll send the address to the car’s GPS right now.”

“Okay, sir. Are you sure?” he questioned.

“Absolutely.”

I linked the address to the car, and I saw it pop up on his screen. I reached into my carry-on. I had made one stop between the bank and my father’s office this morning. The jeweler had called and said my order was ready for pickup. I tucked the velvet box in my pocket.

I didn’t know what Amara had to say to me, but it better be worth betraying the vow I had made.

The car stopped, and I climbed out. My legs stretched long. I heard the piano before I walked inside. Marguerite smiled. Her red shawl was pinned with a red rose tonight.

“Your lady friend is already waiting for you.” She grinned knowingly. “I remembered her.”

“You remember everyone, Marguerite.” I stooped to kiss her on each cheek.

“I don’t have that many customers,” she replied.

“That’s the charm of the place.” I moved past her into the candlelit bar. My eyes landed on Amara, sitting at the same table we had shared nearly a month ago.

Her hair cascaded around her shoulders. It was blonder and more sun-kissed now than when we had met. She was wearing a black jumpsuit. She somehow made jersey material look sexy as hell. She was breathtaking in every way, and I had fucked up any chance at a life with her.

“Hi.” I stood at the edge of the table.

“Hi.” She looked up. Her eyes shimmered. The flame on the candle sputtered as the wax dripped. “I didn’t know if you would show up.”

I pulled the chair away from the table. “I shouldn’t have,” I replied. I looked around. “Where’s Ciro?”

“At home. I wanted to see you alone.”

I sat. I wished I could tell her how sorry I was we had traveled so far from where we started. I took responsibility for destroying the first glimmer of light in my life. Forhumiliating her. For pushing her away. For breaking her trust. I would never be able to tell her the truth.

“Thank you. For meeting me. I know it’s strange after what happened today.”

“What? This awkward? How you annihilated me at the bank?” I tried to smile, but there was tension in my chest, keeping my lungs from taking a full breath. It was hard to believe these were my last minutes in New Orleans.

I had set a plan in motion that could not be undone. Nikoli and Maksim had their orders.

“It wasn’t supposed to be personal. It was business. Isn’t that what you told me?” she asked plainly.

I shook my head. “Fuck, Amara. We became part of the game. And neither one of us won today. I’m sorry it’s ending this way.” It was the closest I would get to confessing to her.

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