Page 30 of Cruel Existence

“His right hand. My uncle had that position, but he was recently murdered. My father had to make changes in the Novikov organization quickly. I was able to make an adjustment as part of the reorganization.”

My heart began to hammer. The mention of murder made my stomach cramp, and my palms started to perspire. I didn’t like the idea of Luka stepping into the place of a murdered man.

“I am only telling you this, Amara, because you have a grasp of some of these things with Capo and the ways families handle delicate situations.”

I nodded. “You hadn’t mentioned this before.”

“There was no need.”

I reached for the champagne. My mouth was suddenly dry. The champagne was at least cool and fizzy. I felt better, but maybe it was only the alcohol giving me a false sense of joy.

“Why don’t we get out of here?” he asked. “We could talk about this more somewhere else?”

“Another bar?” We hadn’t even eaten yet. I knew the champagne would slosh around in my empty stomach and then my decision-making might lead to bigger problems.

He shook his head. “No. Something bigger than that.”

“What do you have in mind? Let me guess. New Orleans’s hottest dance club. Or a dueling piano bar, perhaps,” I teased. I didn’t know how else to lighten the mood after we had told me.

The way his finger traced my jaw made me shiver. “Far from it.” The growl in his voice was nothing less than deadly serious. “I’m not talking about our date.”

“I’m listening.”

“It’s summer. New Orleans is too damn hot. Let’s get out of the city. Make our own plans. Exist while you still have some freedom from your father.”

“But we don’t know each other.” I studied his face. His gorgeous square jaw. His dark eyes.

“Worried we aren’t compatible, Amara?” It sounded like a dare the way he said it.

I shook my head. The truth was I was terrified it was the complete opposite. I was scared he was the person that fit into my life in a way no one had come close. And then what? I’d be ripped away from him and into the arms of a boring marriage with a man who owned a chain of dry cleaning shops or a small grocery business to satisfy my father’s need to launder money. How did I admit that?

“It’s not that.” I raised my chin. “If I run away with you. Spend any amount of time with you my father will punish me with a bad marriage. The only chance I have of making my own choice, or having even the tiniest say in who I marry is to stay. Is to play the game I have to play. To entertain the mobsters my father parades in front of me.I have to do something.” Tears of frustration pooled at the corners of my eyes.

“Whoa. Wait. There must be something I can do for you. Let me distract you from a fate you can’t change. If he’s as determined as you say, spend this freedom with me. In my bed.”

My heart nearly leaped from my chest. His bed? Did he just spell out exactly what he had planned for me until I was married to another man? I couldn’t think. My core was aching. There was longing. Need. Want. Fuck, what was he doing to me?

“No, Luka. We can’t take off,” I stated. I couldn’t tell him my father was ill. Taking off wasn’t an option. This was complicated and messy.

His fingers wound tightly through mine. “We can. Pack a few bags. We hop on a plane and leave New Orleans behind for a few weeks. It’s simple. We go together. Drink our way across Europe. Maybe spend time in the islands. We can go wherever you want first. I have a family home you might enjoy. It’s a castle.”

“A castle?” I gulped. But I had to face reality before my heart broke. “Sure, until Ciro finds me and drags me back by my hair.” I dropped Luka’s hand. “You know there’s no way I can do anything like that. The consequences are too dangerous. Someone could get killed. My father won’t stand for it.”

He huffed. “Think about it. Think about what we could do this summer. Together. I will speak to him.”

“I can’t.” I lowered my chin. “He won’t listen to you.”

I wouldn’t allow myself glimmers of light like that. It would only make the devastation worse when I had to succumb to the life my father chose for me. Some gangly man with bad breath. I’d started having panic attacks in the middle of the night, worried about who it was going to be.

“It could be that freedom we talked about.” He dangled it in front of me.

“This doesn’t freak you out? The idea that we barely know each other and we’re just going to hop on a plane to wherever.”

“Well, you get to decide the wherever, kotyonok.”

I scowled. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I. It doesn’t have to mean anything other than freedom, Amara.”

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