Page 143 of Wicked Fantasies

She shook her head and he tried to not react, to soften toward the tears he saw forming in her eyes.

“Because I believe in your story. It moved me, Gwen. It changed me in ways I can’t even begin to explain or understand. I want to show these characters to the world.”

“I thought you wanted to make a break from the cookie-cutter heroes you portray.”

“I do,” he admitted. “And you’ve given me the perfect vehicle for that escape.”

“Why didn’t you tell me how much it meant to you?”

He shrugged. “For this very reason, I suppose. I didn’t want you to think I was using you for the script.”

“I never thought that.” Her answer was soft, and he could see she meant what she said. He breathed a sigh of relief until her next words.

“I’m leaving,” she said.

“No, you aren’t.” He knew he should simply let her walk out the door, but his heart would never let her take the first step away from him.

There was something frightening her, lurking inside and keeping her at a distance. Something that their interlude in the limo had set free. He knew she was merely picking a fight, hoping to escape, and he grinned. She didn’t know him very well if she thought he’d let her go so easily.

They’d both been avoiding this conversation—hell, any conversation—since her return from New York. They’d been so wrapped up in the delight, the joy, of their newfound sexual relationship that they’d forgotten to talk to each other. “What happened to you, Gwen? Who hurt you?”

A small, strangled sob escaped her lips and he reached out to grasp her trembling hands. “Tell me. Tell me so we can deal with it and move on.”

She shrugged, but he watched as she valiantly stemmed the tears threatening to fall. “Don’t you see? It’s me. There’s something wrong with me.”

He shook his head, but she dismissed his gesture. “I’ve always found my love affairs boring and sex more frustrating than fulfilling. A few years ago, I met a nice man and we started dating. He was romantic and sweet and for the first time in my life, I’d truly fallen in love. One night, I drank a bit too much champagne. Scott and I went to bed and in my tipsy state, I asked him to spank me. He was appalled, mortified, and I tried to retract my words, blame the alcohol, but he knew my request had been sincere. He tried to give me what I wanted. He loved me enough that he actually forced himself to try. It was a terrible experience for both of us, and eventually our sex life died, dragging the love right along with it.”

“He was an idiot. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.” Ty was surprised to see the sad, disbelieving smile it evoked on her lips.

“I can’t ask you to—” she paused, searching for the words. “If you felt like I was— I couldn’t stand it if you?—”

“Shit, Gwen. Have you listened to a word I’ve said? I want the same damn things. I want you so badly I can taste it.”

“It won’t stop with the spankings.”

“What?”

“I want more than that. So much more.”

He looked at her and realized what lay at the heart of her fears. He had been wrong to try to initiate her slowly. She’d mistaken his caution for reticence, misunderstood that he wanted exactly what she did.

“You want the whip?” he asked softly. “The cane? I’d give that to you. Gladly.”

She trembled as he spoke the words. “I couldn’t ask you to do that to me. It’s too much, too abnormal.”

He laughed. “You thinkyou’reabnormal? What the fuck do you think I am? What kind of man wants to hurt the woman he loves? Wants to control her every desire, her every word.” He turned around and walked away from her lovely face to stop himself from seeing the disgust she must feel at his admission.

If her own desires frightened her, what would his do to her?

He grabbed the bed frame to still the shaking in his hands.

She didn’t answer for such a long time, he wondered if she’d snuck out.

Escaped.

“You love me?” she whispered.

He turned at her question as his words replayed in his mind. “Yeah.” There was no point in denying the truth. “Yeah, I do.” He shrugged, helpless to the emotion that had run over him like a freight train the first moment he laid eyes on her. He gave her a small smile when she continued to stare at him silently. “I think this is the part where you tell me you love me too. Might be a nice touch if you throw in something about my rock-hard abs and sexy face.” He was desperate to wipe away the sadness, the fear in her eyes while covering up the fact he was completely terrified himself.

---