Page 77 of Finding Forever

At this point, after so many years of being treated like she was a waste of oxygen and nothing but an unwanted burden, Fern found it hard to see any glimmer of positivity in her situation. Beyond the obvious… her hand absently went to her flat abdomen in a move meant to comfort both herself and unborn child that rested there.

She recalled what Cade had said, about her using this baby as an excuse to finally take control of her life… about her seeing it as a saving grace.

But Cadeknewthat she wasn’t only intent on being a mother to this baby. She wanted to improve herself, find a purpose other than motherhood. The fact that he hadn’t said as much to whomever had been on the other end of the line felt like a betrayal. An omission that made her appear even more pathetic and useless to his unknown listener.

She contemplated the pristine white porcelain basin for a few long moments before shaking her head resolutely and pushing away from the vanity.

She refused to hide in her room any longer. If Cade didn’t want to be around her,hecould be the one to ghost away from her presence. Fern was done being a scared mouse or moth or whatever small, prey-like creature the Hawthornes were going to liken her to next.

She tossed her shoulders back and scanned her appearance critically. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she was wearing a new pair of denim shorts, which left her slender legs exposed from mid-thigh down, combined with a cute, cami top with a sweetheart neckline and an empire waist. Beth had insisted that the delicate shell pink color of the topcomplemented Fern’s pale skin and had pointed out that the empire waistline would come in handy once she started showing.

The top cupped her smalls breasts quite nicely lifting and supporting enough that she didn’t need to wear a bra with it. Still, even though she liked the outfit, Fern felt exposed. She was showing miles and miles more skin with this new wardrobe than she was used to. But she knew the shorts and top combination was quite modest by most standards.

“You’re not a nun,” she reminded her reflection critically, then immediately contradicted the sentiment by tugging at the hemline of the shorts.

Ugh.

“Stop it!” she whisper-shouted at her reflection. She was dressed like most other twenty-something-year-olds, it wasn’t a big deal.

Her self-doubt was crippling. Just seconds ago, she’d been about to flip the script on the old Fern, on her way to being brave, assertive, less timid, and afraid.

Nowthis.

Earlier, she’d felt confident, sexy, high on life, eager to show off another one of her new outfits to the man who’d so thoroughly rocked her world just a few hours before. Now a few overheard words from that same man had brought all her old doubts and insecurities flooding back.

Goddamnit. She was more than this.

More than his opinion of her. More than a trust fund. More than a soon-to-be mother. And nobody’s opinion mattered but her own.

Shewasbrave. Shehadoutmaneuvered Granger. She had bested him, had survived him…

This was nothing. Just another dark moment to overcome. She’d done it before. She could do it again.

She took another look and ignored the screaming voice in her head imploring her to run, hide, or at the very least changeinto a camouflaging skirt, then shut her eyes and determinedly turned her back on the mirror.

“Have you eaten?”Fern’s voice, coming from behind him, penetrated the painful pounding in Cade’s ears and head, and he turned to face her with great effort.

She stood in the doorway, wearing just a pair of butt hugging shorts and floaty kind of tank top. A soft pink color that looked pretty against her skin. God, so much skin. Miles of it. Soft, satiny, touchable skin. Her legs looked deceptively long in those shorts and her small delicate feet were bare.

It was still so jarring seeing her in something other than those awful ill-fitting skirts and blouses that he couldn’t do anything but stare at her for a few long moments.

Her face pinkened, a more delicate shade than her top. And he found himself utterly charmed by it.

“I like the outfit,” he blurted, then winced, he wasn’t usually so inept around women.

Still, she’d proven to be a sucker for even the smallest of compliments and he waited for the shy, beaming smile that usually followed any hint of praise.

Nothing.

Not so much as a spark in those expressive eyes. He had a killer headache but despite the distracting pain, he could still tell something was amiss. Her gray eyes were somber, that sweet smile remained absent and he found himself resenting the lack. She seemed to have reverted back to the quiet, unhappy woman who’d been haunting his apartment for the last week.

“Thank you,” she said and he was tempted to check his extremities for frostbite her tone was so cold.

This was not quite what he’d been expectingafter everything that had happened between them last night. He’d expected shyness, maybe a bit of clinginess, he’d anticipated needing to gently remind her that the sex had meant nothing.

“Are you okay?” he asked, then immediately regretted the question because his uncertainty was apparent in his voice.

“Yes, of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

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