Page 38 of Finding Forever

That was it. The extent of what she expected from him. She needed him to understand that, to believe it. He owed her nothing. She wanted nothing from him. All that was left was this temporary union. And it would end before her child would even be old enough to get to know him.

“Fern, what a lovely name,” Beth said, surprising Fern by enfolding her in a hug as warm as the one she’d exchanged with Cade. Gideon followed that up with a quick kiss on hercheek, and Fern stared up at them both in wonder. She’d never had anyone give her affection so freely before—not since her mother’s death—and it pained her to think it was because they were under some misapprehension about her relationship with Cade.

“Thank you,” she whispered, needing to clear the air, but mourning the fact that it would create formality and distance between her and these lovely people. “But… I’m not sure if Cade has told you about the—uhm—the circumstances of our marriage?”

She was aware of Cade’s head swiveling toward her, but kept her face averted, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“Oh, wuh-we know about that,” Beth said, waving a dismissive hand. “Doesn’t matter though, you’re a Hawthorne now. We’re likesisters.”

Sisters…

Fern’s heart twisted at the wave of longing that washed over her at the word. She remembered how excited she’d been when her mother had married Granger—a man with two daughters close to her own age. She’d been thrilled at the prospect of having sisters to play with and confide in. But Toni and Allie had been cold and nasty. They’d bullied her mercilessly, and blamed her for every little—and not so little—mishap around the house. By the time her mother had died, the bullying had been so relentless that it had been a relief to be banished to boarding school far away from them.

Her dream of having sisters had transformed into a nightmare and now—as she looked down at this lovely woman with the warm, open smile on her pretty face—Fern wondered if that dream was still within reach.

Common-sense warned her not to get too close to this family, her membership into the exclusive Hawthorne club was temporary. She didn’t belong here… she wasn’t really one of them. But the prospect of being part of a close-knit family where people looked out for each other and cared about one another was an enticing one.

Beth’s smile faded slightly at Fern’s lack of response to her previous comment, and Fern felt immediate regret at being the cause of the woman’s sudden uncertainty.

She reached out—initiating contact with someone was unusual for her—and squeezed Beth’s hand reassuringly.

“Thank you so much for your kind words and your warm welcome.” She sounded stilted, ludicrously formal. “I’m sorry if I seem a little out of sorts. I’m still rather tired. It’s been a whirlwind couple of days.”

Beth’s face softened and her eyes lit with understanding and contrition.

“And here I am kuh-keeping you on the doorstep. Come on in.” Beth and Gideon stepped aside, ushering them into the quaint interior of their cozy home. “We’re having abraai. Gideon’s got the fire going. Although… do you eat meat? I’m sorry, I should’ve asked sooner. Oh my God. How rude of me. It’s okay, we have a couple of haloumi burgers in the fridge, we could make you one of those? Did you know that haloumi can reduce inflammation? It also assists in digestion and it can aid in the prevention of Type 2 diabetes. Not that I think you’re at risk of getting diabetes mind you. It’s just a healthy alternative to meat.”

Fern blinked at her in confusion—not quite sure which part of the woman’s statement to address first—and Gideon chuckled.

“You wanna give that another go, Lizzy-bit?” he asked, his indulgent voice deep and smooth as silk. His wife gave him an indignant glare, which he blithely ignore.

“What I meant by all of that is, are you a vegetarian or vegan, Fern?”

“No.”

“Great, no need to break out the haloumi after all, Lizzy,”Gideon said, still laughing. “Nice try pawning it off on our guest though. You bought the things, you’re gonna have to eat them… eventually.”

“I mean, I’m really happy to eat anything you have to offer,” Fern said, desperate to appease any hurt feelings. “In fact, a haloumi burger sounds…”

“Fucking awful,” Cade interjected, surprising her. “She won’t be having that.”

Well, that was?—

“You can’t simply…” she began indignantly, when he interrupted her again.

“And no nuts, aye?” he told his sister-in-law with a gentle smile. “Fern is allergic.”

He remembered a comment she’d made in passing? Of course,sheshould have provided Beth with that information upfront, it had been negligent of her not to have done so immediately. She hadn’t expected Cade to remember or care about her allergy.

The fact that he had was… well, it wasnice. After her mother’s death, she’d quickly learned that if she didn’t take care of herself, nobody else would. Fern could easily become accustomed to having someone take pre-emptive measures to insure her health and well-being.

And that was dangerous. It was best not to become too dependent on him. Self-sufficiency was her central goal.

“I know that,” Beth said, rolling her eyes. “You messaged Gideon about it yesterday.”

Hehad?

“Just a reminder,” he said, voice urbane, shrug nonchalant.

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