“No, it had nothing to do withthe that,” Fern said. “I was excited about something.”
“Aye?” he asked. “What?”
“You were out running?”
“Hmm.”
“I thought you went to work or something. Your company has offices here, right?”
“I’m on my honeymoon,” he told her with a nonchalant shrug.
“Oh, yes, of course. I forgot.”
“What were you excited about?”
“You’ll think it’s stupid.” And abruptlyshethought it was stupid too. Doubt immediately swamped her as she wondered what on earth had made her think she could pursue a four-to-five-year degree at this stage in her life. She was too old. She didn’t have the strength of character to see it through.
Oh God, she… was doing it again. Doubting herself.
Crap.
“Why not let me be the judge of that?” Cade suggested, looking mildly annoyed that she’d presumed to know what he’d think.
“I’ve decided to pursue a career in occupational therapy,” she told him, her voice firm, chin tilted upward defiantly as she braced for his ridicule.
“Why would you assume I’d think that’s stupid?” He sounded affronted. He stepped onto the patio and took the seat across from her, legs spread, forearms braced on his thickly muscled thighs, with his hands dangling between his knees as he glowered at her.
“I’m too old,” she whispered.
“That sounds like anexcusenot to do something. Not a reason. What else have you got?”
“I’m not strong enough?”
“It takes strength? I mean you could always build some muscle. We can start you on an exercise regime tom?—”
“I mean mentally strong,” she interruptedquickly, more than a little touched that he’d immediately sought a solution to the perceived problem.
He stared at her for a long moment before actuallylaughingin her face. It was a short, sharp, clearly mocking sound that seemed to surprise even him.
“Fern, you just managed to stymie a deal months in the making between two massive global corporations, pretty much fucking over one of them in the process. It takes mental and emotional fortitude to go against everything you’ve ever known and leap into the unknown like that. I don’t think you need to worry about being mentally strong.”
Her heart swelled to about three times its normal size as his words filled her with pride. Shehaddone that, hadn’t she? His praise made her preen a little… and she shamelessly wanted more.
“And, I mean, I’m pregnant. Sure, I’ll have access to the best childcare and all of that, but… I’d still have to take time off to have the baby, then maternity leave, and then find the right person to take care of my baby when I’m studying. It’s just that the timing isn’t great,” she said, only to see what his response to that would be. She was gratified when he exhaled noisily, his impatience clear.
“Will it ever be?”
She considered his words, chewing on her lip thoughtfully. He was right. If she used the pregnancy as an excuse not to move forward, she’d later use the baby, then he’d be a toddler, then he’d be at school, then onto high school… there would always be an excusenotto do this.
The only reason she had to go ahead with it was becauseshewanted it. And that wouldneverfeel like a good enough reason. What Fern wanted had never been considered valid or important enough by anyone in her life before.
“I’ve never really done anything becauseIwanted to do it,” she admitted.
“Bullshit,” he scoffed. “I seem to recall you going off with a strange man at a party not so long ago, just for the hell of it.”
“And look howthatturned out,” she reminded him.
“Granted, winding up pregnant after a below average quickie, wasn’t quite ideal, but at least you went for it, right?”