Page 119 of Finding Forever

“Seriously?” she squealed. “Right now?”

“Can’t think of a better time than now. We’re celebrating, right?”

“And I can finally afford to buy you lunch,” she joked with a gleeful chuckle and despite his complicated feelings about their discussion the night before, he laughed in response.

“That too.”

“Oh my God, I’m so excited. This is going to be amazing.”

Less than two hours later,Cade could tell that she was flagging. But—as with the stairs on the beach all those weeksago—his obstinate wife was bound and determined to keep going.

In the endhepleaded exhaustion and dragged her to a restaurant for a late lunch. And even then, she was going a mile a minute as she verbally itemized her shopping list.

“We should get a tree… a small one, I know you probably don’t want your space all cluttered up with Christmas junk, but we need someplace to put the gifts.”

“Fern, it’sourspace,” he reminded. “Although…”

“Although what?”

“I was thinking perhaps we should move? Rent a house or something, right on the beach maybe? It’ll be more accessible for you and the baby, for however long we happen to find ourselves married.”

She was staring at him now, her eyes curious, her expression confused and he waited for the question he knew was coming, but a tiny troubled frown flitted across that perfect brow before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and opted to remain silent.

But that was fine. He could be patient. Today had been a lot. And it would be best for her to process everything that had already happened before piling on even more.

He’d heard everything she’d had to say last night. Heard, and understood, and even agreed.

But… he wasn’t ready to give up on the idea making this marriage permanent yet. He wanted her to have the freedom to choose. But selfishly, he also wanted her to choose him. Because heknewthey could make this work. He could’ve cut out his own tongue last night when she’d told him what she’d overheard. He would shift the fucking stars out of alignment if it meant she could unhear the shit he’d said to his dad that day. But it wasn’t possible. He’d said those things. Even meant them at the time and now he had to figure out how to undo that damage.

“As for the tree,” he said, fiddling with the laminated menu as he held her gaze. “Why don’t we get some decorations and lights first? And get the tree later?”

“Later?” She laughed, effectively distracted. “Christmas is a week from today. Thereisno later, Cade.”

“Let’s focus on gifts and decorations today, okay? You’re exhausted already, no need to overdo it.”

“We don’t even know what size tree we’re getting, how can we get decorations without knowing how much we’ll need.”

“I thought men were supposed to be the logical ones,” he muttered irritably. She didn’t hear him, but continued to prattle on about the Christmas tree decorations.

He stopped listening in favor of simply watching and enjoying the sound of her voice and the sight of her animated face. Her hands were constantly moving as she spoke, her rings glinting in the light.

She spoke through the delivery of their food—smiling gratefully up at their waitress—continued to speak around every mouthful of her burger, and yammered on while she sipped her milkshake, while gesticulating with one hand as she picked through her fries.

She looked lovely today in a floral emerald green and beige ankle length summer dress with flat sandals. He watched her face intently as he tried to figure out what had changed about her. When and how had she become so heartbreakingly lovely? But as he examined her sweet face, he realized that she hadn’t changed at all. She still had the same plain, solemn face. Pale, shaded only in with softest of pinks and lightest of grays... her eyelashes and brows a startling, sultry contrast to the rest of her paleness.

Exactly the same face he’d first seen over four months ago. She hadn’t changed, not really.Hehad. How he perceived her had changed. What had once been plain and unremarkable tohim was now lovely and quite singular. Fern had always been beautiful… but Cade had been foolishly blind to that beauty.

“—even listening to me, right now?” The last emerged on a strident note and jolted him back to the present where his wife was sitting with her arms folded across her chest and glaring at him.

Uh-oh.

“What?”

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying, were you?” she complained.

“Uh… I—”Shit. “Okay, not really, but in my defense, Fern… there’s only so much interest I can fake—take—in Christmas trees before I get distracted.”

“And what, pray tell, was so distracting here?” she asked, sending a pointed look around the crowded family restaurant.