Page 114 of Finding Forever

For one, there was Beth… and through Beth, Gideon. And now this man, who clearly had every intention of being an integral part of his grandchild’s life. How could she deprive himorher child of such a relationship? Fern wanted a real family for her baby. The family life she’d never had. She couldn’t very well deny her child a grandfather who already seemed to love him unconditionally. As well as uncles and aunts who would spoil him rotten and love him unconditionally.

She wasn’t sure how Cade would feel about the child’s continued presence in his life, but right now, but after his tentative offer to “babysit” while she studied, maybe he wouldn’t be entirely averse to the prospect of being a part of the baby’s life. Even when he and Fern were no longer trapped in this awkward, loveless arrangement.

And while it might mean that Fern would still be on the outside looking in, it wouldn’t matter if it meant that her child would enjoy all the love and acceptance growing up, that she hadn’t had.

Cade was quiet as usual, but she couldn’t read his silence tonight. She couldn’t tell if he was angry. Usually, he projected his fury pretty clearly. But there was none of that seething frustration in his silence this time. In fact, he seemed more relaxed than anyone else in the room.

“Ready to leave?” he asked Fern, when she stifled a second yawn in as many minutes.

She wasn’t, not really, dreading being alone with him after her catastrophic decision-making tonight. She wasn’t looking forward to hearing about her temporary place in his family again. Nor another diatribe about how she should keep her nose out of his business. And yes, she knew that if she didn’t want to hear the same lecture, she should probably stop repeating the same destructive behavior over and over again.

After all, wasn’t that the very definition of madness?

The silent ride home ratcheted up her tension. And by thetime they entered the apartment she was a wreck. She turned toward him while he locked the door.

“I’m so sorry, Cade, I shouldn’t have said anything. I completely messed up theoomph?—”

She was unable to complete her apology due to the fact that he was currently siphoning the air from her lungsthrough her mouth. Also, difficult? Forming words with someone else’s assertive tongue in your mouth.

Fern stood in stunned surprise as her husband enfolded her in his arms and quite simplyateher mouth, apology and all.

She wasn’t sure why this was happening and had a fleeting moment’s misgiving before she sighed in contentment and flowed into his arms like silk, her arms winding around his neck.

When the hot, sensual kiss finally wound down, Fern found herself snugly ensconced on his lap, cuddled to his hard chest. He had one hand fisted in her hair and the other palmed in her neck.

They were both a panting mess afterward, lips swollen, eyes wild, hair mussed, and clothes in disarray. He was hard, she was wet, and even though Fern was happy for the breather, happy to have a moment to simply think… she wasn’t entirely certain why they weren’t in bed, slaking this desperate need.

“Don’t get me wrong…” Fern’s voice was a throaty purr, when she finally managed to get her breathing under some semblance of control. “That wasamazing. But… why?”

“Why what?” God, she loved his raspy post-sex voice. It always sent delicious frissons of sensation arrowing down her spine straight to her clit.

“Why did you just kiss me like that? And why did you stop? Why didn’t we…” she floundered and the palm on her neck, moved up to her cheek. His long thumb, swept tenderly over her lip

“Why didn’t we make love?” Oh, were they calling it that?She’d been so certain he was about to sayhave sex, or something far more crude. His choice of words surprised her.

“Yes.” She nodded, her index finger idly tracing swirling patterns on his chest.

“Because we need to talk.”

Fair enough. Theydidneed to talk. About what had happened between them before the dinner, as well as everything that had occurred after that.

“I thought you were angry with me,” she admitted. “For what happened at Beth and Gideon’s place. I was unforgivably rude to your father. I upset everybody and ruined Beth and Gideon’s dinner party.”

“Ruinedis a strong word. I wouldn’t say that at all.”

“What would you say then?”

He dropped an unexpected kiss onto her forehead.

When he spoke again, his gravelly voice was almost self-conscious. The hand in her hair was now lazily toying with the wavy strands. “My mother was the one who always called me Cade.”

His words startled her into lifting her head, but he used the palm on her cheek to gently coax her head back down to his chest.

“Don’t, please… I’d prefer to talk about this without—uh—eye contact, if possible.”

“Cade if you don’t want to tell me this, you?—”

“I want to,” he interrupted her quickly. “But it’s…” A gust of air ruffled her hair as he sighed. “I haven’t really spoken about it to anyone before. I’m not a big sharer. I listen, I offer advice when my brothers or Kenny need it, but I don’t like to burden them with my shit.”

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