Page 105 of Finding Forever

Those two words, in that helplessly admiring voice, were her undoing. She backslid and allowed herself to bask—for only the very briefest of moments—in the warmth of his approval.

“What wereyougoing to ask me earlier?” she queried.

“Just wanted to know what you did today.”

“The usual.Oh,and I finished my late entrance application to UCT,” she told him. Her days were pretty samey at the moment. She did some yoga, read every bit of literature she could find on occupational therapy, swam a few laps. The pool wasn’t very big, but since walking up and down the steep hill alone had been strictly forbidden—and pretty much ruled out by her own pregnant body—by Cade, it was the best she could do for exercise. She tried to keep busy, but honestly, when Cade wasn’t around, she often found herself bored and frustrated. She felt like she was stuck in a holding pattern, waiting for herreallife to finally begin.

She’d applied to several local universities, aiming for a late acceptance to do a part time course in occupational therapy over the next few years. She hoped that because it was part time, her chance of acceptance would be higher. But she wasn’t too optimistic.

“That’s good news,” Cade said, his voice admiring. “If you need help with… with the uh baby, I’d be willing touhmstep up. And babysit. And stuff.”

The stuttered offer was so tentative that Fern wasn’t entirely sure how to take it.

He still found it so hard to even say the wordbabythat it was hard for her to believe that the offer was sincere.

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” she replied, her voice colder and curter than she’d intended. She felt immediate regret when his expression shuttered and he retreated. His emotional retreat palpable enough to leave Fern with an irrational ache of loneliness as a result.

“Right, of course,” he said, voice so bitter the words practically curdled as they left his mouth. The smile that had been flirting on the edges of his lips, along with the warm light in his eyes had both faded completely and he was quite determinedly not meeting her gaze.

He seemed almost… well, he seemed hurt and Fern fiddled restlessly with her new bracelet as she watched him closely. It was the first real indication he’d ever shown that he may want to take an interest in the baby and she’d thoughtlessly rejected the tentative overture.

It had been a knee jerk, defensive response.

“I know I can manage, Cade,” she said again, gentling her tone, and then offered, absolutely terrified of being shot down, “But, if youwantto spend time with the baby while I’m busy studying, I wouldn’t mind.”

His eyes jerked up to meet hers, his face going slack with an interesting mix of terror, panic, and relief.

“I don’t really know much about babies,” he muttered, panic adding a high note to his voice.

“Neither do I, but I’m confident I’ll learn as I go along.”

“Are you? How… how can you be so sure.”

“I’m not,” she confessed with a grin, allowing her own fear and uncertainty to show. “But I live in hope.”

Some of the warmth crept back into his eyes and he allowed the smallest of smiles to settle on his lips.

“I’m certain you’ll be a wonderful mother, Fern,” he offered, his low voice intense.

Fern swallowed painfully, not entirely sure how to respond to the absolute certainty she heard in his voice.

“We should get changed,” she told him brusquely, keen to shatter the intimacy of the moment and change the subject.

The soft warmth in his gaze gradually dissipated and he stared at her in confusion.

“Get changed? For what?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Didn’t Mitch remind you? Your father arrived today. We have that welcome dinner at Beth and Gideon’s, remember?”

“Fuck,” he intoned in a low voice and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s tonight?”

“That’s anhourfrom now,” she clarified.

He scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed.

“Right. I’d better get to it then.” The loose relaxation of just a moment ago had all but disappeared to be replaced with obvious reluctance and tension.

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