Page 42 of It's Only Ever Been You

Her lips twitch, but the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good,” I say, forcing a lightness into my tone. “I could use the backup. Weddings are always easier with someone to laugh at awkward speeches with.”

Her laughter is soft, but it doesn’t last long. I catch the flicker in her expression, the way her shoulders tense just slightly at the mention of Jace’s name. It’s fleeting, but it’s enough to make me wonder.

I watch her closely just to make sure. “Okay then, thank you for coming with me, I mean. It’s going to be a lot of people, and…”

“And Ethan,” she finishes, her voice quieter now. She shrugs, setting her cup down. “How are you feeling about that? Seeing him again, I mean.”

Her words are careful, and the way she watches me, her eyes searching, makes it clear she’s not just asking out of curiosity. I glance down at my cup, tracing the rim with my finger to buymyself a moment.

“I don’t know,” I admit, the words coming out softer than I intended. “It’s been a long time. And things… Well, they didn’t exactly end the best.”

Sarah leans forward, her elbows on the table. “You don’t have to see him if you’re not ready, you know. Weddings are busy. It’s easy enough to avoid someone if you really want to.”

I shake my head, forcing a small smile. “I can’t avoid seeing him, Sarah. He’s in the wedding, just like me. There’s no way around it.”

She tilts her head, her expression softening. “Fair point. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be… hard.”

“I know,” I say, my voice quieter now. “But it’s Jace’s day. I’m not going to make things weird or about me. I can handle it.” I tell her but in reality, I’m not entirely sure I can.

Her gaze lingers on me for a moment before she nods. “Just… make sure you’re ready to see him again. It’s been a long time.”

“I will,” I say, though the knot forming in my stomach makes me wonder if that’s entirely true.

“So, what are you packing for the weekend?” she asks, a sly grin creeping across her face. “And please tell me you’re bringing something that’ll make a certain someone kick himself for being an idiot.”

I laugh, grateful for the shift in tone. “Aside from the bridesmaid dress? I’ll pack a couple of outfits. Nothing too flashy.”

She narrows her eyes at me, smirking. “Flashy, no. But something hot? Absolutely. Trust me, it’s not a bad idea to remind him of what he’s missing.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help smiling. “You’re impossible.”

“Only because I care,” she quips, raising her mug in a mock toast.

But even as we joke, I can’t shake the thought lingering in the back of my mind—the way her voice softened when Ethan came up, the way she looked at me like she was waiting for me to admit something I wasn’t ready to say. Maybe she’s just being a good friend, or maybe she sees something I’m not ready to face.

And something tells me that seeing him again might force me to.

As the day drifts on, Sarah leaves to run errands, and I’m left with my own thoughts, a dangerous place to be. I stare out the kitchen window, watching the light shift through the trees, my fingers tracing the rim of my coffee mug. The idea of going back home for Jace’s wedding stirs a mix of emotions I don’t know how to process. Excitement, dread, nostalgia—it’s all tangled together.

I grab my phone, scrolling mindlessly through my notifications, but my thumb hesitates when I see Ethan’s name pop up in a tagged photo on Jace’s Instagram. It’s just a candid shot from some training session, Ethan laughing with the guys, his smile as wide and carefree as I remember. My chest tightens, and I swipe past it before I let myself spiral.

It’s been years. I’ve moved on—or at least, I tell myself I have. But the thought of seeing him again, of being in the same room after everything, makes my stomach twist.

The last time we spoke, it felt final. Like the book had closed, and we were both too stubborn to open it again. But now, with the wedding looming, I wonder what it’ll be like to see him. Will he be the same Ethan I grew up with, or someone entirely different?

The thought sticks with me as I go about my afternoon, trying to focus on work but failing miserably. The cursor blinks on the blank document in front of me, taunting me, and I let out a frustrated sigh.

My phone buzzes, breaking the silence, and I snatch it up, hoping for a distraction. It’s a text from Sarah.

Sarah: How’s it going? Everything okay?

I blink at the screen, caught off guard. I hesitate for a moment before typing back.

Me: Yeah, why?

Her reply isalmost instant.

---