Page 49 of It's Only Ever Been You

“Doing what?”

“Disappearing into your head.” She pauses, studying me. “Is it because of him?”

I hesitate, my fingers tightening around the glass. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been so long, Sarah. What am I even supposed to say to him?”

She shrugs, her expression softening. “Whatever feels right. Or nothing at all. You don’t owe him anything, Em.”

I nod slowly, her words sinking in but not quite settling. It’s easy to say I don’t owe him anything. But the truth is, I’m not sure I believe it.

Across the yard, Sierra laughs at something one of the other bridesmaids says, the sound bright and carefree. I envy her, the way she can be so sure of herself, so at ease. But then I remember she’s the one marrying Jace—the guy who, as far as Sarah’s concerned, might as well be the sun.

I glance at Sarah, catching the way her gaze flickers to Sierra before she looks down at her hands. It’s quick, barely noticeable, but it’s enough to make my chest ache for her. She’s been socareful not to let her feelings for Jace show, but they’re there, hovering just below the surface.

“You ready to head out soon?” Sarah asks, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I’m ready now,” I say, standing and brushing off my dress. “Let’s go.”

As we make our way toward the gate, I feel the weight of the next few days looming. Seeing Ethan, pretending as though I’m not still carrying pieces of him with me—it’s going to be hard. But I’ll survive. I always do.

Right?

The drive back to the hotel is quiet, the soft hum of the car engine filling the silence between Sarah and me. She’s scrolling through her phone, probably catching up on work emails or Instagram, while I focus on the road ahead. But even with my eyes on the street, my mind is miles away.

“I still can’t believe Sierra picked blush for the bridesmaid dresses,” Sarah says suddenly, breaking the silence. “It’s nice and all, but isn’t it, like, the most cliché wedding color ever?”

I snort softly, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. “I think that’s the point. Sierra’s all about the classic, picture-perfect wedding.”

Sarah rolls her eyes, tossing her phone into her lap. “Sure, but picture-perfect is boring. Weddingsshould have some personality, you know? Like, throw in a deep red or emerald green. Something bold.”

“You should tell her that,” I tease, even though we both know she won’t.

“Right, because nothing says ‘supportive friend’ like trashing her color scheme two days before the wedding.” Sarah smirks, shaking her head. “No thanks. I’ll just suffer in silence.”

I laugh lightly, but the sound feels hollow. Sarah’s banter is comforting and familiar, but it doesn’t erase the nervous energy thrumming under my skin. Every mile brings me closer to Ethan, to the moment I’ve been dreading and anticipating in equal measure.

“Alright, spill,” Sarah says, leaning back against the seat and crossing her arms. “You’ve been weirdly quiet all day. What’s going on in that overthinking brain of yours?”

I grip the steering wheel a little tighter, my knuckles whitening. “Nothing. Just… trying to wrap my head around everything.”

Sarah arches a brow, her expression skeptical. “Everything? Or one thing? One tall, broody thing with a killer jawline and a knack for making you lose sleep?”

“Sarah,” I groan, but she’s notwrong.

“Look,” she continues, her tone softening, “I know seeing him again is going to be… a lot. But you’re not that girl anymore, Em. You’re stronger now. You’ve built a life without him. Don’t let him throw you off.”

Her words hit home, but they don’t ease the knot in my chest. I nod anyway, forcing a small smile. “Thanks. I’ll try.”

“You better,” she says, pointing a finger at me. “And if he so much as looks at you the wrong way, I’ll handle it.”

Despite myself, I laugh and quirk my eyebrow at her. “What, are you going to take him down in that fancy and might I say, sexy dress you plan to wear?”

“Damn right I will,” Sarah says, grinning, “and I’ll look fabulous doing it, too.”

Her humor lightens the mood, and for a moment, I let myself believe her. Maybe I can face Ethan without falling apart. Maybe this wedding doesn’t have to be the emotional minefield I’m building it up to be.

But as we pull into the hotel parking lot, the weight of reality settles over me again. In just two days, I’ll be face-to-face with him. And no amount of pep talks or jokes can prepare me for how that’s going to feel.

Sarah heads up to the room first, mumbling something about needing to call her mom. I linger in thecar for a moment, staring at the dashboard like it holds the answers to questions I don’t even know how to ask.

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