Page 33 of It's Only Ever Been You

A sharp intake of breath.

I pull back just enough to glance over Olivia’s shoulder, and I see Emma.

She’s standing near the door, not alone this time. Sarah’s at her side, her arm looped casually through Emma’s, their expressions contrasting one anothers. Sarah looks unimpressed, her sharp eyes scanning the room, sizing up every person in it, while Emma looks… hurt. Devastated, even. Her wide eyes find mine across the room, and for a second, the world stops.

She’s not supposed to be here. Why has she been at so many parties lately? Emma doesn’t do parties—not without me. But, she’s here, standing in the doorway in her fitted jeans and a soft sweater that clings in all the right places, looking out of place in the best way. She’s everything this place isn’t, and the moment I saw her, my stomach twisted painfully.

I see the moment it clicks for her. Olivia’s hand is still on my chest, and my hand is resting too comfortably on her ass. The color drains from Emma’s face, replaced by something colder, harder.

“Ethan?” Olivia’s voice pulls me back, her hand brushing against my chest. “You okay?”

I push her off of me, putting space between us and getting up. “Yeah, I just… I need some air.”

But before I get to the door, I hear Emma softly say, “Let’s go,” tugging on Sarah’s arm.

But Sarah doesn’t move. She’s not like Emma. Sarah isn’t the type to stay quiet. Her eyes narrow, and before I can blink, she’s storming toward me, leaving Emma frozen by the door.

“Sarah, wait—” Emma starts, but Sarah’s already in my face, her expression set in a mix of anger and disappointment.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Ethan?” Sarah hisses, keeping her voice low enough not to draw attention but sharp enough to cut. “Do you even realize what you’re doing?”

I glance past her, my eyes darting to Emma, who’s still lingering near the door, looking torn between bolting and staying to see what happens.

“Sarah, this isn’t the time,” I mutter, trying to step around her, but she doesn’t let me off that easily.

“Oh, it’s the perfect time,” she snaps, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’ve been acting like a complete asshole, and for what? So you could hurt her? Maybe feel like the big man on campus? Because if that’s your goal, congratulations—you’re nailing it.”

I clench my jaw, my hands balling into fists at my sides. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?” Sarah’s eyes blaze with fury. “Emma hasn’t done anything wrong. Not a fucking thing. She’s been working her ass off, trying to balance all of her responsibilities, and all you’ve done is shut her out and act like she doesn’t exist. And for what? Some petty revenge for something she didn’t even do?”

“Stay out of it, Sarah,” I growl, my voice low, but she doesn’t flinch.

“NO,” she snaps back. “I won’t. Because she’s my friend, and I’m not going to stand by while you treather like shit. If you’re too much of a coward to talk to her, and actually figure out what’s going on, then maybe you don’t deserve her.”

Her words hit harder than I want to admit, but before I can say anything back, she turns on her heel and marches back to Emma, who’s still standing by the door, her arms wrapped around her like she’s trying to hold herself together.

Sarah leans in, saying something to her, and Emma nods, letting Sarah steer her out of the house. She doesn’t look back, and I don’t stop her.

As the door swings shut behind them, the weight of what just happened settles over me like a lead weight. Sarah’s words keep playing in my head, each one hitting harder than the last.

You don’t deserve her.

For the first time, I wonder if she’s right.

After a moment, I step outside and lean against the railing, running a hand through my hair as I stare out at the yard. The image of Emma’s face is burned into my mind, the hurt in her eyes twisting the knife even deeper.

This isn’t who I am. This isn’t who I want to be.

But every time I think about facing her, the fear creeps back in. Fear that it’s too late, that I’ve already pushed her too far. Fear that maybe I’m not what she needs after all.

And so, I stand here staring out into the darkness, wondering if I’ll ever find my way back to her—or if I even deserve to.

Chapter Twelve

Letting Him Go

Emma

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