Page 29 of Psycho Killers

A brief silence envelops us as we share the blunt, the tension thickening. The rain intensifies, yet instead of bringing chill, it wraps around us like a warm embrace, loosening the tightness in my body and casting me into a state of relaxation.

“You know, if Ash has any chance of getting better—of staying clean—then we all have to stop using,” she finally breaks the silence.

“I’m fine,” Ash interjects unexpectedly, causing both of us to turn and see him standing there, freshly showered and looking more like himself.

I shake my head in disbelief. “No way. If you’re clean, then we’ll get clean too, brother. We’re in this shit together—no matter fucking what.” I flash him a smile, but inside, I’m quaking with fucking fear.

I can’t remember the last day I was fully sober; getting high is the only way I know to cope with the chaos in my life. It’s the only thing that numbs the pain. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to start if that comfort were stripped away. Looking at him, I know he can see the turmoil in my eyes, but my smile remains unwavering, hoping he buys the facade I'm maintaining.

“Man, it’s been ages since the four of us have been together like this,” Dom announces as he steps onto the balcony, a smile on his face and tears glistening in his eyes as he looks at Ash—evidently, a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

He wraps an arm around Ash, pulling him into a hug. Ash then yanks me into the embrace, and I grasp Cali’s wrist, pulling her in too. The four of us share the longest group hug we've ever had.

But it’s short-lived.

Cali breaks free first, torment clouding her eyes as she gazes out at the dreary city, the rain continuing to fall and drench everything in its path. Before she even speaks, I instinctively know what’s occupying her mind; it’s the same thing gnawing at me, an unrelenting obsession with death.

“So, I have Gunnar tied up at the abandoned warehouse on Third Street. Who wants to come with me while I take care of him?” She asks casually, taking a deep drag from her cigarette.

“I’ll come,” Ash replies immediately, stepping up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Yeah, I’m in too,” Dom adds, looking at me expectantly.

I shake my head, holding back the truth. I have plans they’re unaware of. “Can’t. Five and I are heading out for one laststakeout at my father’s place. I want him gone so I can finally move on, like the rest of you,” I inform them, bracing for protests that surprisingly never come.

“Okay, just let us know when and where, and we’ll mark him off the list next,” Cali tells me, a dangerous spark igniting in her eyes, setting my insides ablaze every time I see it.

“It won’t be long. I want it done within the next day or so,” I assure her, fully aware she’s eager to deal with Gunnar first, and honestly, I understand.

As the rain continues to pour, my resolve strengthens, combined with the urgency gnawing at my gut. I catch Dom's gaze as he leans against the railing, face set, as if he's debating whether to pry further. I respect his silence, even as I feel the impending storm of confrontation brewing between us.

“Just—just be careful, okay?” Dom finally says, his voice low, threading concern through the layers of bravado in his usually playful demeanor.

“I’ll be fine,” I reply.

But will I? The thought wraps around my mind like a snake, squeezing tighter with every passing second. My plan feels solid, yet beyond the adrenaline lies a quagmire of uncertainty. I’ve seen what vengeance can do to people—to myself. Still, the part of me that has craved retribution for so long and that isn’t willing to let go of the past, pushes me forward.

Cali's voice interrupts my thoughts. “Well, then it’s settled. One mission at a time,” she says, her tone shifting to one of authority, though her hands tremble slightly as she flicks ash from her cigarette into the abyss. “But I need my Ash with me—right now, he’s my lifeline.”

“Go,” I urge them, even as the words feel heavy on my tongue. “Just remember to keep it clean.”

The moment hangs between us, soaked in both camaraderie and a lingering bitterness, heavy like the humidity in the air. Iwatch them depart, Ash slipping his arm around Cali as they make their way down the hallway with Dom following close behind them.

Once they’re gone, the weight settles more heavily on my chest. I stub out the rest of my cigarette and lean back against the railing. The rhythmic patter of rain fills the silence left behind. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

But my mind is still racing with thoughts of my father and his men and the fight that lay ahead. I’ve been to hell and back getting this close, and yet, I know it could all come tumbling down. I pull my phone from my pocket, scrolling through messages that appear mundane but serve as constant reminders of the shattered world I inhabit. I’m about to call Five when the soft chime of an incoming text distracts me. It’s from our mutual contact—a simple message:

Your father's been on the move. Watch your back.

Thanks, but I won't have to watch it for much longer.

My heart lurches. The shadows of the city are alive, shifting and changing with every decision I make. The rain falls harder, drowning my doubts, but not the flicker of dread. I pull away from the railing, dismissing the weight of uncertainty for now. It’s time to gather the few resources I have left. I’ll need everything at my disposal, including the darkness that has guided me thus far.

Just before heading inside, I glance back at the cityscape, realization hitting me hard: there’s no way forward without the ghosts of my choices trailing behind me.

When Five arrives,I provide him with my plan, the precision of it all feeling almost like a waltz—a dance we have both perfected. But as I think of Cali, Ash, and Dom, I can’t shake the feeling that every step we take spirals us deeper into danger, that with Gunnar’s blood on their hands, it may unknowingly drag them further down into darkness too.

“Let’s move,” Five says, the urgency of his voice propelling me forward.

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