Page 155 of Lush

Can I really do this?

Yes. No more secrets. No more lies.

I turned to find Reese standing there, his face pensive. He stepped closer, his fingers brushing my arm, sending a fiery, dangerous shiver down my spine. “Are you sure you can do this?”

No. I was freaking out. Terrified. What would Mama do? Ididn’t even want to go there. But I couldn’t marry Conrad. I couldn’t go along with her plan.

“We said we’d do this tonight, so that’s what we’re doing.”

He hesitated before putting his hand on mine. “Nothing’s gonna happen that we don’t want.”

A bitter smile twisted my lips. “We’re blackmailing Conrad into calling off our engagement so I can marry you. Do you really believe that?”

His jaw ticked, but he didn’t argue.

I glanced left and found Blair staring directly at us. Her gaze latched on to me, unblinking, unreadable. The knot in my stomach tightened. I yanked my hand away from Reese.

“I need to fix my makeup again.”

I had fixed everything after our encounter in the bathroom earlier, but I just had to make sure.

I stumbled back, my heel catching on the slick deck, but before I could fall, a hand clamped around my wrist.

“Whoa, easy there,” Nina said, steadying me. “Are you okay?”

I forced a smile. “Perfect. Excuse me.”

The stairs felt endless as I descended into the lower deck, my breath coming fast, uneven. The moment I stepped onto solid ground, I braced myself against the nearest wall, pressing a hand to my chest.

What if this all fell apart?

For two years we’d managed to keep our relationship a secret, and soon it would be out. I just prayed I was right in my assumption that Conrad hated this engagement just as much as me. I didn’t know the exact pressure Harold was putting on Conrad, but if it was how Mama was treating me, I was fucked.

And me—God, what would people say when this got out? That I was reckless, stupid, selfish? That I destroyed my own engagement, my own reputation, my family’s reputation, just to crawl into bed with the one person I was never supposed to love?

But what if, for once, I stopped caring? What if I let Lush burn behind me? Leave my parents, leave the expectations, leave behind the version of me that never felt like enough?

My nails dug into my palms. The thought was huge, scary, and irresistible.

I gulped and straightened up, smoothing my dress. No. I couldn’t lose it now.

I stepped forward, deeper into the dimly lit hallway, the low hum of the yacht’s engine beneath my feet grounding me. I just needed a moment.

But then—footsteps.

“Laurene…”

Conrad was standing behind me. His cold blue eyes gave nothing away as they looked me over, his dark hair neat despite the wind. He was just steering the boat. So why the hell was he down here?

I straightened up, trying to relax. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

I lifted my chin. “I just needed a moment.”

He hummed as he drew near, his expensive cologne mingling with a hint of alcohol. “Funny. So did I.”

My pulse kicked up. His face was blank, but there was something in his eyes—a deadness.

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