Page 157 of Heir of Illusion

He sends me a glare as Della speaks up for the first time since they arrived.

“What’s our plan?” she asks, a small hint of fear underneath her even one.

While Della knows how to handle a weapon, she isn’t a warrior. She can fight off an enemy if she has to, but she’s never taken on a large group of them. My palms grow damp at the thought of her having to swing the sword strapped to her hip. I should never have gotten her involved in any of this…

Thorne steps forward, taking charge as our small group circles around him. Fia hangs back, keeping watch at the front of the alley with a crossbow in her arms. Strapped to her back is a cylindrical container full of arrows. I’ve trained with a bow before, and I’m a fairly decent shot, but I’ve never worked with one like hers. My fingers itch at the thought of pulling the trigger. Perhaps she’ll let me borrow hers sometime?

“Our destination is one block over,” Thorne tells us, his features once again shifting into the emotionless mask he so often wears around others. “We stick together as a group, and no one breaks formation. Assume anyone who approaches us is an enemy.”

“What do we do if the Forsaken join us?” Della asks.

“Oh, they’re definitely going to show up,” Griffen chimes in, his fingers resting on the pommel of his broadsword.

“Go for the kill,” Thorne answers coldly.

My stomach churns. Memories surface of the alley lined with the dead bodies of the Forsaken. In my mind, their faces morph with those of my friends, shifting into Alva, Morwen, and Remy. The thought of hurting one of them is unbearable.

“Shouldn’t the goal be to incapacitate them?” Della argues, mirroring the thoughts running through my own mind. “They are innocent people, after all.”

I glance at the others. The carefree gleam that usually shines in Griffen’s eyes is nowhere to be found. Instead, I find only determination, as if he’s preparing himself to do whatever must be done. Surprise flares through me as I take in Darrow’s down-turned eyes and clenched jaw.

“Whatever they were before is gone now,” he whispers. “None of them are innocent anymore.”

“But it’s not their fault,” I insist as something hot and ugly roils in my gut. “It makes them do those things. It controls them.”

“This isn’t the same as what Baylor does to you with the collar,” Thorne says, not unkindly. “Whoever they once were is gone now. They’d kill their own family if the sword told them to, and they’d do it with a smile on their face.” His gaze moves around the group, landing on each one of us. “If they approach, we don’t hesitate to end their lives.”

I blanch at his words.

“I told you, Ivy,” he says softy, a flash of emotion rippling behind his pale eyes. “I’m not good like you.”

That night in my room, he said the lines he’s willing to cross would shock me. Is this what he meant?

The situation is ambiguous. They’re our enemies, but not by choice. I wrestle with the rising tide of guilt that threatens to swallow me whole. My hands are stained red by the lives I’ve taken, but most of those weren’t my decision. Not the innocent ones, at least. I held the blade, but Baylor issued the commands.

This is different.

There’s no way to absolve myself this time. No one is forcing my hand. If I choose to kill these people, the weight of that decision will rest on my shoulders alone.

“Couldn’t we at least try to knock them out or something?” I suggest as I grasp for some loophole. “Hurt them just enough to make them back down?”

“You could try,” Darrow says softly, meeting my gaze for the first time since this conversation began. “But consider what might happen if you fail.”

Ice drips down the back of my neck as his meaning settles in.

Failure means death. Not only mine, but my friends as well. The whole city maybe. If we don’t stop thealmanova, how far will the Forsaken spread? Am I willing to slaughter these innocents to spare everyone else?

I thought I knew each dark corner of my soul, but apparently, I was wrong. It turns out there are still new facets of myself left to discover, all of them just as ugly as the rest.But is it really new?I ask myself.Isn’t this who I’ve always been? Someone willing to do the hard things and live with the consequences.

My jaw clenches as resolve settles over me. I don’t have to revel in the lives I’m going to take tonight; I only have to accept that it’s necessary. Cassandra’s haunting comments from the ball drift back to me again.

The truth cannot be fought, child. Only accepted.

Determination mixes with shame as I force myself to meet Thorne’s gaze. “I can do it.”

He nods, watching me for a few moments before addressing the group again. “We need to move.”

We establish our formation quickly, positioning Thorne and me at the front of our small group with Della and Darrow right behind us. Fia and Griffen bring up our rear. The night air ripples, growing thicker as Thorne’s shadows settle around us. While they don’t hide our party completely, they do provide a small degree of camouflage as we move into the open street.

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