Page 105 of Heir of Illusion

Revulsion roils in my stomach as I recall the smile that crossed his face as he asked me to murder his wife.

“I remember being shocked after he said it was Leona. I couldn’t even speak. I just kept waiting for him to tell me he was joking or something…” I trail off, remembering the way my heart fractured in my chest the moment I realized he was serious. “When I didn’t respond, he got nervous. He started reaching for my collar, and I knew he was going to order me to do it. So, without thinking I just—I slapped his hand.”

The shock on his face in that moment was staggering. Neither of us knew what to do until I shot up and ran from the room. Thankfully, he didn’t follow me.

“That’s when I realized I’d been wrong about everything,” I tell Thorne. “I’d been unbelievably stupid. The next morning, I went to tell Leona everything, but it was too late. She was gone.” My voice cracks as tears stream down my cheeks. “They said she did it to herself, that she went to the veil in the forest to take her own life, but I knew that wasn’t true. Baylor killed her. And it was all my fault.” I squeeze my fists, my body shaking as the guilt overwhelms me. “I should have gone to her immediately. I shouldn’t have waited until morning.”

A gloved hand reaches for mine, forcing my fingers to uncurl as he takes them in his strong hold. “It wasn’t your fault, Ivy.”

My face crumbles. “Then why am I so ashamed?”

The fractured pieces of my soul snap apart as a horrible noise rises in my throat. In this moment, with all of my defenses shattered, I can admit to myself that I want Thorne to have a good opinion of me. But I won’t lie and present myself as something I’m not. I don’t want to lie anymore, not to him.

His arm comes around me, pulling me close without letting our skin touch.

“More often than not, our shame isn’t deserved. It worms its way into our minds, infecting us with guilt for things that were never our fault.” His brows pull together as his eyes search mine. “Do you truly believe Leona would want you to blame yourself this way?”

I shake my head. Deep down I know he’s right, but this kind of pain doesn’t release its hold on a person easily. Some hurts don’t get better with time; instead, they burrow so deep it feels impossible to root them out.

Something tickles my leg, and I glance down to find one of Thorne’s snakes curling around me, laying its shadowy head against my calf. The barest hint of a smile pulls at my lips as I realize it’s trying to comfort me.

My face aches, my eyes raw and strained. I’m sure in this moment I look hideous, but there’s no judgment in Thorne’s eyes as he wipes my tears away and tucks a strand of copper hair behind my ear. Maybe it’s good to break sometimes. Perhaps I’ve shattered myself so fully that the only option left is to begin to heal? And for once, I don’t push the emotion back. I don’t try to lock it behind some mental prison.

I let it out.

Thorne offeredto fly me back to my room, but I didn’t want to risk us being caught together. Instead, I had him drop me off near the edge of the forest line, only a short walk to the north entrance of the palace gates. Before he left, he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead, he turned and shot back into the sky. I’ve noticed it’s becoming a habit of his.

Twigs crunch under my bare feet as I make my way through the woods. The trees are thick enough to block out most of the light, creating an eerie atmosphere. If I turned and walked in the opposite direction, I’d soon find myself standing before the veil. The idea of souls being pulled through this forest, unable to deny the call of the lonely stone archway, leaves me cold.

I can’t help but feel sorry for them. Not being given a choice of whether to pass on or not seems terrible…

I’m unsure if I’m happy about sharing so much with Thorne. I’m not foolish enough to believe he’s trustworthy. He’s a God. And he lied to me from the moment we met. I’d be stupid to ignore the fact that it benefits him to create instability in Baylor’s court. I believe he truly cares for me, but we both know it can’t go beyond that. Neither of us are in a position to choose our own fate.

Still, it felt good to unburden myself a bit. To be open and honest is a rare gift.

Unease sparks as I near the Palace gates. There’s a strange energy buzzing through the air, something that makes my senses go on alert. Up ahead, a man sprints toward me. I tense for a moment, my hand reaching for a blade that isn’t there, before I realize it’s Bellamy. Pulling my cloak tighter, I try to conceal the bloodstained nightgown underneath it. I’m sure my dirty feet are already conspicuous enough.

I expect him to slow down as he gets closer, but instead, he slams into me. His arms wrap around me immediately, holding me tightly to his chest.

“I was so worried,” he breathes.

“Bel?” I ask, unsure of what’s gotten into him.

He pulls back, his gaze catching on my puffy eyes, red from the tears I’ve shed.

His face falls. “So, you’ve already heard?”

My brows pinch as I shake my head. “Heard what?”

“About father,” he says, as though it should be obvious.

I push against his hold, taking a few steps back as I try to understand what I’m missing. “What about father?”

“You didn’t—” Realization dawns on his face. He drops his gaze, his hand running through his hair as if he’s uncomfortable. “I just assumed. You looked like you’d been crying.”

“Iverson!” Baylor shouts as he runs up to me, pulling me into his arms. “You’re safe! When we couldn’t find you, I was terrified that bastard had gotten you too.”

My skin crawls at his proximity, but I manage not to stiffen too much. When he lets me go, I glance back and forth between them, a sinking sensation settling in my gut. The urge to turn and run back into the forest is nearly overwhelming, but I force myself to meet Bellamy’s gaze instead.

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