Page 109 of Beautiful Storm

“I couldn’t finish it.” I scrunch my nose when his jaw drops.

“What was it called? I’ll search for it.”

“Stop.” I gently shove his shoulder and laugh. “I don’t need to know.”

“Well, I do. And thank you for unlocking a new fear I never knew existed.” He stalks over to the couch and makes himself comfortable while huffing like a child, and my heart warms because of it.

I’m not in this alone. I have a partner in crime. Someone as terrified as I am. And I’m not letting him in. But why?

“I’m sorry,” I say with a soft smile, my gaze locked on his confused expression as I slowly walk over. “Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one going through this. I heard what you said at the football gathering, and I wasn’t lying when I said you are helping, but I never really processed what you meant.”

“What did I mean?” He shrugs with a grimace, making me laugh.

“Stop. We both know you’re a smart guy. You know what I’m getting at.”

“I do.” He stands and takes a step closer, invading my personal space. “And you’re right, I feel alone in this too. But we shouldn’t be. Because we’re in it together.”

He brushes the messy hair away from my face before gently running his thumb across my cheek under my eye. “I’m here for you. I’m not sure how much clearer I can be about that.”

“I know.”

“So why do you keep fighting it?”

“I don’t…” A tightness fills my chest as I trail off. No matter how hard I try to let him in, or talk about it, I can’t. And I hate that I don’t know why.

“Is it because you don’t trust me? Still?”

“No,” I rush out. “That was a long time ago and we talked about it. This is different. I get this sinking feeling whenever I try letting you in. Like a huge wave is pushing me under the surface and I can’t fight my way out, yet I’m an amazing swimmer.”

“Jesus.” He cringes. “That doesn’t bode well for me.”

“No, sorry.” I laugh softly. “I don’t mean that you make me feel that way. It’s something else. Something bigger.”

Luke nods in understanding as his hand drops to my waist, giving me a squeeze, heating my skin through my clothes. My eyes drop to the connection, studying the way he holds me.

“I’m not going anywhere, Amelia,” he rasps, breaking into my thoughts. “And I won’t let you drown. I won’t let you lose yourself.”

“What?” My eyes flash to his, and the intensity of his gaze has my heart pounding in my chest, but it’s his words that steal my breath. “Why?” I manage to whisper as everything from the past few years floods my mind. “What…what made you say that?”

“Which part?”

“That I was losing myself.”

“Because that’s what you’re feeling, isn’t it?” He shrugs like it’s no big deal but he’s wrong. It’s a huge deal because he just saw me better than I’ve ever seen myself.

“That’s it.” I shake my head incredulously. “That’s why I keep pushing you away. It’s why I’m always reluctant to accept your help. I don’t want to lose myself. I can’t.”Not again.

Luke’s gaze turns sympathetic before I break out of his hold, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I…” I shake my head and turn away, needing to move on from the talk of our emotions. But Luke doesn’t let me get too far before grabbing my wrist and pulling me to a stop, spinning me around.

“Don’t pull away from me. You’re not giving me a chance, Amelia. I can promise you I won’t let that happen.”

He locks me with his arresting gaze, and the emotion staring back at me is like a heaviness weighing me down. “Thank you. For everything,” I whisper. “But I need you to stop looking at me like that.”I’m not ready for it.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re in love with me.”

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