ONE
FRANCESCA
The warm breeze wafted over my sticky skin, the overhead fan merely shifting the deluge of sun-heated air around the dining room.
The sliding glass doors stood open to the outside world, the lake glittering calmly in the early morning light. A fat bug buzzed into the room, its incessant hum filling the silence between scrapes of forks as we ate in near silence.
Mother sat across from me, her hair neatly pinned back to stop in sticking to her already sweat glossed neck. The air conditioning engineer couldn’t make it until the end of the week, so we spent the days miserable, sweating like we’d run a marathon. It was half the reason I’d given into sleeping with the man next door. Exchanging some half-hearted sex for a few hours of cool air seemed fair enough to me.
Spearing a segment of sugar-dusted grapefruit, I watched as the fly landed on my father’s head. It trundled around on his perfectly gelled hair until he became aware and flapped it away.
Conversation rarely flowed amongst the three of us. More came in fits and starts, perfunctory. Never excessive. Never for fun.
I loved my parents, but I hadn’t realised how unusually quiet our home had been. I’d lacked the hustle and bustle of friends’ homes, the way siblings would badger and tease, love and hate. I’d just… existed. My parents’ love for me had never been in doubt, but it wasn’t the loud and overt love I saw amongst others. It was a stoic love filled with the weight of expectation. They worked hard to give me everything I needed in order to succeed.
Even if my wants had to be quashed to meet those expectations.
‘Francesca,’ my mother said, her words clipped. ‘Your father and I are spending a few days with Sue and John on their river boat. You should come.’
It was less of a question and more of a statement. Another expectation.
‘I’d rather stay here.’
‘In this heat? The engineer won’t be here for days. Plus, Elijah will be there.’ A rare glint shone in her eyes at the mention of her friend’s son.
I stifled a sigh, struggling not to roll my eyes. Of course Elijah would be there. Sue and John had been coming to their lake house across the water as long as we had; over a decade of balmy summers, all but the previous one. I’d wangled out of that one with some work experience. Spending my summer volunteering for our local dentist hadn’t proven any more exciting, however.
‘If I haven’t wanted to date Elijah by now, I’m pretty sure I never will. I’ll stay here while you go.’
‘So you prefer spending your afternoons with the idiot boy next door? Elijah is a doctor.’ A crinkle formed between my mother’s brows as she glared.
‘And I am twenty-two years old. I don’t need help to find a boyfriend.’
‘Is that what he is? Your boyfriend?’ My father asked, before taking a sip of coffee.
Nick wasn’t my boyfriend. I wouldn’t even go as far as friends with benefits. More a handy distraction next door. A dalliance. A little middle finger to my stuck up parents.
‘No. It’s just a summer fling. A bit of fun.’
Mother’s face twisted in distaste. As a woman who’d married at twenty and only ever been with my father, she had little time for sexual liberation. ‘It’s a distraction, Francesca. By your age I was married?—’
‘I know,’ I said, interrupting her. ‘You were married. Top of your class in dentistry school. Perfect.’
At their urging I’d followed in their footsteps, becoming a shadow of their success, always striving to catch up to a height I had no real motivation to reach. Rooting around in plaque coated mouths made my stomach turn. Even after years in college.
‘No-one expects you to be perfect. But a little decorum…’ With sharp dabs, my mother cleaned her mouth with her napkin.
‘I’ve worked so hard this year. It doesn’t come easy to me like it did to you. I’ve done nothing but study the entire year, and if I want to let off a little steam, you can’t stop me.’ I’d already lost four years to their dream for me. Spending days on a boat with the irritatingly perfect Elijah wasn’t an option. Over my sweaty rear-end.
‘We’ve walked the path you are taking,’ my father said, his tone decidedly neutral. ‘We made the same sacrifices, while working to pay our own way. All you have to do is attend. Pass. We’ve worked hard to give you an easy route through. No big college debts. No struggling to balance working to pay rent and getting to lectures.’
‘I know,’ I sighed. They’d given me everything thatthey’dever wanted. And expected me to prostrate myself before them until the end of time. ‘I’m sorry. Elijah and the boat, they just aren’t for me. But go, have fun with your friends.’
‘Won’t you try the muffins?’ I asked, hoping the change in topic might ease the tension that had settled amongst the dank heat.
The sugar crystal crusted blueberry muffins sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by the fruit platters and yogurts that my parents preferred. Rising before the sun, I’d braved the heat of the oven before the morning could bring a fresh level of temperature based hell. The blueberries I’d hand picked from the local farmer’s market were near to bursting with juice, and the perfect tart accompaniment to the fluffy dough. My best yet.
My parents’ eyes shifted to the paper wrapped treats, a soft but dramatic sigh escaping my mother’s mouth.