Page 29 of Ethereal Shifters

“It is.” Feyre nods. “Before we go and have lunch, I have to ask you one serious thing because Finn’s my family. You’re not going to hurt him again, are you? You rejected him and he… That broke my brother more than me being sick did. I had to watch him fight to survive this academy with a broken heart, then he didn’t stop fighting. He fought his way to the top of his career just to escape the pain you caused. I just need to know that his heart is safe with you, because he may act strong to everybody else, like a big grumpy giant, but truthfully, he’s soft-hearted, and I don’t think he could deal with you breaking it again.”

“Feyre, that’s too far?—”

“No, it’s not.” I stop him. “Every choice, beginning with the rejection, was to protect your brother and the others. I wasfifteen, and I knew I’d die to make sure they were alive. I can’t change it, but I’m not running. I know what it cost us all. It haunts me what it cost us. Those years are gone and we can’t get them back, but we can move forward, and trust is a big part of that. I won’t hurt him. I won’t run.”

She smiles. “Good, that’s the answer I wanted. Welcome to the fucked-up family. My father is the worst. I’m next, and Finnegan is considered the normal one.”

That’s not concerning at all. Feyre takes my arm and pulls me from the door, and makes me follow her down the corridor. Damn, she is strong. We go down to the cafeteria, and we get a table to grab some food before sitting down. I nibble on a ham sandwich as she tells me about Finnegan’s childhood, all the embarrassing stories, and Finnegan just smiles at us the entire time. When we get to a comfortable silence, I ask her what I’ve been meaning to ask Finnegan. “Finn told me you were sick but never really went into details.”

“He didn’t want to worry you, I bet.” She looks at him. “It should be talked about more, considering you pay for my private treatment. The assassin work you do.” It all clicks into place now about why he does it. He nods at me and I know he doesn’t want me to argue it right now. “It’s expensive and costly to keep me alive. But basically, when I was born, my Nexus wasn’t fully fused to my soul. It happens sometimes. Sometimes we’re born not right. Years ago, babies like me used to just be killed at birth because it was thought to be kinder than letting us live. But now, if you have enough money, there are treatments. When a Nexus dies in the city, the light that they leave behind is captured at the moment of their death, with their permission, of course, and that light can be used to power up my Nexus. At least for me, anyway, it keeps me going. I need the treatments every four weeks on the dot. Or, well, I’ll die, a painful death, slowly, as my Nexus fully rips away from my soul.” She shrugs like that isnothing. Like it isn’t horrifying to think about. “I’ve just had a treatment and I’m super strong at the moment.”

I lean my head on my arm. “And there’s no permanent treatment for this?”

“Not yet, but the scientists in Morriganis City are working really hard. If anyone’s going to figure out a way to treat it permanently, it’d be them. I’m just glad for every day I get.” I actually see it. But for Finnegan and his dad? They must be terrified every day.

“Do you have a mate?” I ask her.

“I don’t know. They don’t allow people like me to add our blood to the database and find out. My connection with my Nexus is so weak nearly all the time I don’t think I’d know if I had a mate even standing right in front of me,” she admits. “I don’t have powers either. Or I can’t access them.”

“I’m sorry, that’s really horrible cards to be dealt in life.” I sigh.

“It could be worse,” she offers, looking at me. She knows a lot then. “For what it is worth, I know you didn’t make the Mortal God kill those people. Most people know that.”

Not all of them, though. The history books are going to write me as a monster either way. “It’s really nice to meet you. Unfortunately, I do have class in half an hour, and I need to get changed.”

“Of course.” She touches my hand. “It was really lovely to meet you. Maybe we can hang out privately sometime without Mr. Overbearing here looking nervous.”

“I’m not…” Finnegan shakes his head. “Fine. The two of you alone seems like trouble.”

I wink at him. “It’s because it would be.” I kiss Finnegan’s cheek before leaving to go back to the room. I quickly get changed and grab my Nex dagger before heading off to class. When I walk in, there’s a crowd gathered around by the balconyoutside the training room, and I look at the clock. I’m bang on time, and Alek doesn’t ever begin the class early. What’s going on? Alek steps into my path the second I get close to the balcony door. “Don’t go out there.”

“What’s going on?” I frown.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Hollis is making the worst choice of his life, and I don’t want you hurt, so stay here with me.” I step around him and he leans in. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as I pass him. The crowd parts for me until I can see them—Hollis and Rochelle, her arms flung around his neck, tears down her face as she laughs in joy. Her bright blonde hair flows in the wind. They look like a Pinterest photo of the perfect couple. There’s a diamond ring on her finger, glittering in the sunlight. He proposed to her, right outside my class, knowing I was walking in here.

My Nexus, who has been completely MIA, reels to life in my mind, making me wince at the pain she causes as she claws her way to the surface to watch. I barely manage to push her down as she strives to take over. Her anger is suffocating.

Alek touches my arm, but I can’t feel any comfort, anything other than anger. So much anger. The world is tipping into red. “Congratulations on your proposal.” There’s a sourness to his voice. He definitely doesn’t mean it. “But this is a class. Everyone back inside, we have got training to do, and this is over.” Hollis doesn’t look at me, even when I know he senses me here. It’s because I’m nothing to him. It’s because he is rejecting me and he wants to hurt me. I shake my head. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Class will be good,” I answer Alek, but I feel numb. I feel like nothing. He searches my eyes, his jaw tight as he walks away. I look over as Rochelle comes back in and Georgina rushes up to her, hugging her tight like they have been friends forever.

“Congratulations, true love always wins,” she cheers. Fuck her.

“I know. I’m so lucky to have him,” Rochelle cries out. Fuck her too.

I look away before I do something stupid. Fucking assholes. I’m so tired of them, of Hollis. Of everything. They deserve to be friends with each other. But Hollis proposing—that’s permanent. There’s no taking that back. If he marries her, that’s too permanent. I don’t know why I didn’t expect it to happen, but I thought…I don’t know what I thought would happen. There wasn’t a happy ending for us, something written in the stars, there was just pain.

My Nexus is furious, absolutely furious and hurt.

“Today we’re practicing our powers. I’d like anyone with aggressively outward powers to step forward. There’s a row of targets here, and I want you to destroy them. Gwenieve, what power do you intend to use?”

“It would be good to practice the metal one,” I respond, but it’s like I’m watching myself move through a storm. It’s not real. This isn’t real.

“Okay.” My brows rise as Howard moves to my side. Along with five other students.

Alek looks at him. “Your power is phasing. That’s not an outward power.”

“I’ve been practising and I can…and I can phase myself, but I’ve also worked out. I can phase weapons to my hands and control where they go,” Howard nervously explains.

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