Page 10 of Ethereal Shifters

Using sarcasm to make a point is apparently still a thing, no matter how old you get. “Fine, we aren’t, but being at war is a little extreme.”

“I’ve seen people who are so far past being at war with their Nexus that they have drowned their Nexus in their mind to win and destroyed themselves in the process. They go mad every single time and die. I do not want this path for you. I want you to talk to her and begin a fresh path. No more running scared, no more hating her, and no more not understanding the very core of what makes us Nexus. What makes us children of Gods and stars, and special.” He leans forward and taps my knee with his walking stick. “I see you, young girl, and no more. Do you understand?”

I don’t want to go mad and I’m tired, so fucking tired of fighting her. “You know what she has done. Aren’t you scared?”

He laughs. “If I meet death helping a lost soul find peace, so be it. You are a soul. I will help because I truly believe a time is coming where only the extraordinary can save us. Like you.” He straightens and I blink. Crazy old man. “What’s it like when you shift, Miss Autumn?”

“I don’t know exactly, but I’m never there. It’s like dropping into a dark pit. I get flashbacks, almost like dreams of what shedid, but I can rarely pull myself into her mind. Sometimes when I’m a wolf, I can, but it’s almost like she pushes me out.”

“She protects you, perhaps.” He hums. “She knows you cannot handle what she feels must be done.”

My Nexus watches him now from my one eye. I don’t know if he knows, but he nods his head. I clear my throat. “I don’t think she protects anyone but herself. The flashbacks, the bits I see, are always the worst part of what she has done. They terrify me as much as she does sometimes. Other times, I wish I could ask her why and have her actually answer me.”

“I’m sorry that this has been your experience. When the Gods first bred us into existence, they wanted us to never be alone. Our Nexus’ souls are our guides in the dark, our best friends and a part of us. They were just one back then. One being, one soul, and we can learn much from our history. As much as you fear that other part of you, you were born with this Nexus. It is destined for you, and with great power.” I almost interrupt to say the Spiderman line, but I bite my tongue because I don’t think he would get the reference. “Lies a great purpose, a reason why that power came to this world in the first place. The Gods make no mistakes. The Crimson and Darkness wolves have given you great power. I am certain the Bear, Snake and Mortal Gods have a part in your Nexus too.”

“I think they cursed me.”

“I do not.” He is firm. “Let’s just begin. Remember, wherever you are, you’ll be safe there and I am watching. We are not leaving here, in the middle of the forest, no matter what you see, Miss Autumn.”

“Alright,” I mutter.

“Close your eyes.” He commands. The minute I do, I feel like I’m falling, like I’m falling endlessly into nothing, and my stomach turns. When I stop, I’m sitting in a literal cloud with thousands, if not millions, of stars twinkling around me in a darkblue sky. It’s almost like I’m sitting in the night sky myself, the clouds rippling across the ground. Opposite to me is my Nexus.

I’ve seen her on video footage, in reflections of mirrors and lakes. I’ve seen pictures that my mother took when I was in this state, when I’m dead sometimes or alive, to show me what I look like, but it’s still haunting to look at as she sits opposite me. Her pale legs are clasped like mine in the same clothes I wear, the ranger uniform. Her eyes are pure grey, like the one I have.

“Hello.” I don’t know why it seems so strange and awkward to say that to her. Ask questions. Try. No more war. “Why do you murder? Why have you killed so many? Why have you endlessly killed since I was little? Why do that to me?” I don’t know why it’s the first thing I come out with, but I need to know, and my questions spill out like a broken dam. “Why kill my parents? Why never let me have control? Why do you hate me so much that you broke us, broke everything?!”

“To protect you.” My Nexus says three words like they explain it all.

“Like fuck,” I snap. “That supermarket was protecting me? We were a child!” She doesn’t reply, just stares. “Yes, I get the Vian that you killed, but some of these murders are not protecting me. In fact, recently you went hunting in the city for sport. Yes, he was an abusing prick, and I actually agree with killing him. Someone had to kill him, but that, how was that protecting me?” I demand.

“Unworthy do not live in my city.” Her city? What the fuck is she on?

“Your city?” I ask, raising both my eyebrows. Of course, she doesn’t bother to explain that one to me. “Okay, I agree they were unworthy. But you can’t just go around killing anything you feel like because you feel like they’re unworthy. I was almost killed by the council because of your actions. How am I ever meant to be normal?”

“You were not born to be normal, Gwenieve.” She stands up in one smooth movement. “There is no normality in what we are. Only the end and rebirth. Only the start of something new.”

I don’t know what she expects me to say to that ball of crazy. “Can we just make an agreement to let me have some normality? I…I never wanted to be different. I…I like just being here and…I want my…our mates. If you go around murdering everything, then I can’t trust you. Let’s start with the grey magic thing that you do and drain everything. That’s not okay.” I stand up because I need to be the same height as her.

“We are death,” she whispers. “We are death. We are death.”

I shiver. “We are not. You are.”

She smiles, her teeth sharp. “You’re not ready for what I am, Gwenieve. Soon, you will be. I want you to be safe and alive.”

“I want the same for you,” I admit. “Can you explain the Severi thing? How can he be something you want? You realise he’s our enemy? You remember that he tortured us and hurt us, that our parents are dead because of him? Why on earth would you want me to be anything to him? I don’t understand, and I need to.” I’m careful about what I say, knowing Tutor Hank is listening in.

She doesn’t say anything, she just watches me. That eerie, creepy way that she does. “He is ours.”

Fine. We can disagree forever on that one. “Will you ever stop murdering without discussing it with me first?”

“No, not until we are safe.” She walks right up to me and turns her gaze to the stars. “They come to watch us.”

Following her gaze, I see something in the stars. Constellations of wolves, two wolves running together. Crimson and Darkness. I look to the side, following her moving gaze to another constellation and another one. A snake. A man. A bear. But there is one more…a constellation that looks like a woman with a bow. “We are the reckoning. You are the Morrigan.”

“What does that even mean?” I demand, reaching for her, but she moves away. “Wait, why are you walking away? Don’t walk away from me! Please, just explain things. Why does it always have to be so complicated; just explain some of this to me? Nexus!”

She briefly stops. “Be wary of the lying girl, because nothing is going to stop me from killing her.” She sends a wave of grey magic at me, and I let it hit me. It doesn’t hurt. I fall backwards into the stars, dancing with the shifter Gods for a second before slamming straight into the forest, gasping as I look up at the tree line. A hand is shoved in front of my face, and Tutor Hank helps me sit up. My mouth is bone dry and somehow he knows, handing me an orange juice. I drink it all before looking at him again. “Did you see all that?”

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