Page 68 of Babalon

Shove.

“You can never leave Darkwater. Do I just live without you?!”

Shove.

There it is, the underlying issue. I can look past all the problems, but I can’t do this to myself—feel something for someone and never get to have a future with them. What that future could look like, I don’t know.

This is just infatuation, right—then why does this hurt?

“No,” Kace answers, his voice a bit calmer now.

Tilting my head to the side a fraction, I watch him as both of his hands reach up and run through his hair, trying to comb the longer strands back off his forehead. I have no clue what he is thinking, but I can see the gears turning. He’s fighting himself too.

“No?” I ask.

“No, baby. I don’t expect you to live without me. I—I promise I won’t say anything to anyone. I won’t talk to the detective anymore. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you here until you’re ready to leave and move on with your life. Just—please, please let me love you.”

Never thought my heart could truly break, but when he utters those last two words, I feel it crack right down the middle. Other than my friends, no one has ever asked for something so simple, yet so complicated. What do I say? I can barely exhale right now, the thought of this man wanting something as profound as love from me… me… Nadia Pierce.

Before I can refute him, I hear a rush of footsteps around the corner. I don’t know if it’s was a group of inmates or guards, but I have to get him out of here. We were in an unauthorized space, and we will both feel the consequences if we are caught here, so we need to go.

Looking up at him, seeing the uncertainty in his expression, I hold a finger up to my mouth, hoping he understands that I need him to remain silent. Reaching out with my free one, I take his hand in mine and pull him closer to the wall, bringing him out of the open area.

Following my guidance, he steps against the wall and presses his back to it as we both wait it out. Looking to the damaged fencing, my blood roars in my ears, I know, this is it, we were about to be caught. Everything is going to fall apart for the both of us—the very thing I fear. The world is crumbling around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Suddenly, a large guy wrenches the fencing back and steps through. When he stands up straight, he looks over his shoulder and turns to face us, and I visibly relax.

Matias—fucking hell, I’ve never been so glad to see his smug face.

“Yo, Cotton Top, I don’t mean to interrupt. Officer Pierce.” Matias greets as I glare, then he smirks.

I don’t mind him; he is entertaining and he helps me keep Kace safe. While I wasn’t here in the beginning to initiate their friendship, I have worked with Matias in the past to maintain pipelines for his crew as well as securing Kace’s safety.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, amigo, but y’all need to vámonos. The homies are on their way out here to converse with the AB, and neither one of you need to be here for that.”

“Are you spilling gang secrets again, Matias?” I ask.

“Of course not, Señora, just passing along helpful tips. Now get out of here.”

Our cue to leave.

Snatching Kace’s hand, I do not hesitate, quickly dragging him away and back to the rec yard. As soon as we were in the open, I let him go, feeling the cold of the air hit my hand when we part—something I am starting to detest.

I don’t wait before marching to the building. I know there was a lot left hanging between us, and we have shit to talk about, but I can’t do it here and now. It will have to wait for when we can get alone once more, and after taking one hell of a break. I have a lot of things to think about, a lot to wrap my head around.

He wants me to let him love me…

Back inside of the building, I point for Kace to head down the hallway to chow. Our eyes meet for a moment, and I struggle to channel the bitch in me and tell him to get fucking lost. All I can keep replaying is his plea. I wanted to give that to him, but how?

I’m fucked.

“I’ll see you later.” Is all I was able to manage, my throat feeling like it has a noose tied around it.

“Be a good girl.”

Yes Sir.

He turns on his heel and heads in the direction I demanded he go down. My teeth latch on to my bottom lip to keep from smiling. The way he has been making me feel lately has started to catch up with me, and as I stew on it, the less resistant I become.

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