Page 53 of My Hunger, Your Soul

TYLER

I’m back at my apartment after the most bizarre afternoon of my life. A stalker situation, followed by Ivan turning up to my workplace and getting me off, then to be followed by my work colleague catching us together not long after. Marcus stayed out of my way for the rest of the afternoon, and after that display Ivan put on, I’m not surprised he’s keeping his distance. Ivan was a completely different person. I’ve learned quickly not to let the warm smile fool you, as he is as deranged as the rest of his family, but this scenario was different. He sounded different, looked different. And to make things worse, I liked it. The power in his voice, the rumbling of darkness that shrouded him like a cloak, it was truly captivating, which leads me to think I need a few sessions with my brother. It doesn't help that when I came home I wished I was at the house with Ivan. I hate coming back here to this apartment, and I feel guilty for that as I’m so lucky to be able to live in such a place, but it doesn't feel like a home. I just feel lonely and isolated here.

On the positive side, Chase and Noah arrive in the city tonight and I can’t wait to see my brother again. He always manages to ground me when I see him, and I hope to confide some of my situation to him as he deserves the truth, plus Ivan is going to be hard to explain if I just introduce them tonight without any warning. Ivan is unpredictable to say the least, and I don't want any friction. Especially if Noah comes out too as he will not appreciate anyone talking to Chase, let alone trying to wind him up.

I need to get out of the apartment, and I’m starving. I quickly change into some jeans and a sweater, wrap up warm in my black coat and navy blue scarf, and head out to my local burger shop. It's only a five minute walk and I’m hoping the crisp air will clear my overworked brain. Before I know it, I’m in the shop receiving my order and heading back home at a brisk pace so my food doesn’t turn stone cold. Just as I approach my building, a hand grabs my arm. Tim. Or Timmy as Ivan calls him.

“This is harassment,” I say, pulling away from his grip.

“I just want a moment of your time, can I come up?”

“Absolutely not! Say what you need to say here, in public, and then leave.”

“Here, this is my badge to prove I’m a cop.”

I look down at his credentials, which seem legit.

“So? A little out of your jurisdiction isn’t it?”

“Look, Tyler. I don’t want to make this difficult for you, but I will if I have to.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You’re in a relationship with one of the Kozlovs. The cousin Ivan, I believe?”

How the hell does he know that?

“Do you have a point?”

“I will take you down with them when I have enough evidence. I’m not the only one involved in this case. If you don't help, you’ll be treated the same.”

“Blackmail? Nice. I’m a legitimate architect who is working for them. Any issue you have with them has nothing to do with me.”

“I can make it that you’ll be involved.”

Is this guy for real?

“Wow, nice to see honest police investigations are taking place. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a scorned dried up cop who can't let go of the fact he’s been outsmarted. I could sue you for this.”

“Prove it.’’

I stand tall, pissed at this asshole who thinks he can threaten me. Acting like a child who's had his favorite toy taken from him.

“I’m not interested in anything you have to offer. Leave me alone and I’ll take my chances.”

“This won’t end well for you, Tyler. Your career will be finished, family and friends will abandon you. Possible prison time. I have photos of you. It won’t be hard to prove your sexual relationship.”

Bile rises up in my throat. They have pictures. Oh how my life has taken a turn since moving here. But I call his bluff, refusing to be bullied.

“Go.”

Tim shakes his head like a father disappointed with his child. He pulls out a card from his pocket and hands it to me.

“That would really be a shame. Here’s my number if you change your mind. I will take them down, Tyler.”

“Well, good luck to you,” I say, and push past him, to head back up to my apartment. Burger now cold and my appetite gone.

I quickly enter my apartment and slump against the closed door, dropping my food on the floor. For the short amount of time I’ve known Ivan, he has waved a wand over my life and turned it from a black and white movie, to HD color. Every moment with him is exciting and unpredictable. He keeps me on my toes and I like giving him that control, to challenge my rigid ways and boundaries. There is another thing that I’ve started to feel around him, but I can’t utter the words that keep popping up in my head for fear that it's not real, that this is all a fake world that’ll be taken away from me. But at the end of it all, will it be worth it? To always be on edge, to expect drama in my life with shady cops and stalkers, who just want to get the Kozlovs. Is it all worth it? Would it be better for me for my future to quietly pack up and leave? Start again and hope all that's happened to me here becomes so distant of a memory, it would be like it never happened?

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