Page 79 of Deadly Rival

“Why did you do it? Why didn't you just let me die?”

I've been asking myself the same question all day and haven't been able to come up with a good answer. I turn back to the ceiling and try to voice my thoughts.

“He already destroyed Maggie. I couldn't let him do it to you, too.” It's the truth, but not the whole truth. I ought to stop there, but exhaustion and the need to stop pretending force me onward. “And I don't want you dead. I should, but I don't.”

There we are. The words are out, and I can't put them back.

“You don't want me dead.” He squeezes my hand. “It's a low bar, but I'll take it.”

He shifts, as if to sit up, but winces and lies back down. “I don’t think I can lock you in tonight. You might as well sleep here.”

He says it casually, but I catch the tension. Sleeping in his bed. It’s a step in a new direction, but I’m not sure what that direction is. I match the fake, chatty tone. “Might as well. I’ve saved your life once today. I don’t particularly feel like smothering you in your sleep.”

“Good to know.”

He squeezes my hand again, then falls silent. His breathing slows, and I think he’s fallen asleep until he says, “Pet?”

I jump. There’s an odd note to the word. I twist to face him. I can’t pick up the expression on his battered face, but something in the way he’s looking at me makes me shiver. “What?”

“If you misbehave at the ceremony, they’ll set you free. They’ll send you right back to your father. If you want to get out of the Compound, it’s all you need to do.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

Sebastian

I just signed myown death warrant with a single sentence, and all I feel is relief. I’m sure the panic will come later, probably once the painkillers wear off, but looking at Ophelia’s wide-eyed, trusting face, none of that matters. She’s been a victim her whole life, and I’m not going to be the next in line to screw her over.

If she stays here as my pet, it’ll be because she wants to.

“And what happens to you?”

Christ, of course she asks that. Of course her first thought is what will happen to her kidnapper. She’s too smart and too good. I force a wistful smile. “Oh, not much. I have to deal with another year of celibacy, and then I get to try again. Another Ward. No one would hold a candle to you, of course, but I’d have to make do.”

I hate that I’m so stiff and everything hurts. I should have waited a couple of days before I did this. Waited until I could look her in the eye properly and give this conversation thesolemnity it needs. But I’ve never been able to keep my thoughts in my head, so why would I start now? It’s only my life on the line. Nothing important.

I grip her hand tighter. It’s all I can do. She whispers, “Why are you telling me this?”

The million-dollar question. I pause before answering, trying to order my messy thoughts. The weight of the day returns full force, smothering tiredness creeping over my limbs. “Because your brother and your dad have fucked you over enough. I don’t want to be the third man to ruin your life.”

I wrap my hand around her wrist and squeeze, trapping her arm to the bed. “I want you. But only if you want to be my good little pet. I think you do, deep down. But it’s your choice. I’m not supposed to tell you, though. It’s a secret. Don’t tell anyone what I said. Even the girls.”

The unbearable heaviness presses down, a lead weight, and my eyelids close.

***

Healing is a glacial thing. With all the bright minds in the Brotherhood, it seems like we could speed things up, but no such luck. Every movement involves pain, sweat, and more curse words than I thought I had in my vocabulary, but the worst part is the thinking.

Half a day into it, and I’m ready to launch myself out of the window. A whole day, and I’m clinically insane. I don’t know if I’ll ever see out of my left eye again. It probably won’t matter anyway.

Sometime the next day, Kendrick visits, chews at me long enough to make me wish Harrison had sliced my ears offinstead, then leaves. The unflappable man is well and truly flapped.

Even Jacob and Gabriel are subdued when they visit. Happy to see me alive but clearly dealing with some sort of aftermath. They know something I don’t. It seeps out of their pores until I want to tie them down and torture it out of them. As if I’d get a single finger on Jacob before he broke my neck. It might still be preferable, though, to this waiting.

I caused all this. I should be taking the full brunt of it, but no. I have torecoverbefore they hit me up with whatever the bad news is.

Ophelia doesn’t bring up the ceremony again, and I don’t dare ask what she’s thinking. It’s obvious. Isn’t it? She won’t give up her chance at freedom. No one would.

So, yeah. I make it three days past the stupidest day of my life before I finally snap. Pretty good, really. Longer than I would have thought. Pain meds helped. It’s just the guys; the girls have gone to lunch, and I can walk now, so I fetch us all a beer. I choose my words carefully and say, “Less than a week to the ceremony. Going well, I think.”

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