Page 82 of Bullet

I let go of the grill, and it’s a good thing the driveway isn’t on a slant because my brainwaves have flatlined, and there’d be no catching it if it rolled away.

“Bullet. You better come in here.”

His tone is ice water dumped straight on the crown of my head.

I abandon everything, including Willa’s truck, with both back doors open.

“Lynette’s sick and Willa can’t get her to stop crying.”

What the fuck? I’ve been outside for five minutes. Lynette wasfine. Then again, knowing how strong she is, and proud too, she wouldn’t have said anything if she had a rocky stomach. She would have done what she always does and fought through it. There’s no way she’d ever want to ruin this day for Willa. They’ve been planning it together for months.

I shove past Atlas, tearing into the house like a half-crazed man.

Lynette and Willa were getting ready in our bedroom, and that’s where I find them, Lynette curled into a little ball on the bed, Willa hovering over her anxiously. She’s not the one used to taking care of anyone. She has no idea what to do.

Honestly, neither do I. Lynette has never been sick before in all the time I’ve known her.

As soon as I enter the room, she explodes off the bed and hurtles at me. I hold her like I can protect her from anything wrong in the world. My heart breaks because I know that, however much I want to, I can’t. If intention counted foranything, though, I’d be powerful enough to make sure her world was full of nothing but joy.

Sunlight streams through the windows in the room. It’s a beautiful day for a barbeque, but Lynette’s face is stormy, her cheeks dotted with the rain of her endless tears. She doesn’t cry often, and not like this.

From over Lynette’s shoulder, Willa’s face is a mirror of mine. Helpless. Worried. Pained.

She steps into us, sandwiching her sister in a hug from behind. “What’s wrong, Lynette? Please tell us,” she practically begs.

Atlas edges up to the doorway but stops abruptly. We might be club brothers, but Lynette and Willa are a part of my family and it’s a different kind of family. One he can’t push into, no matter how much longing is in his expression right now.

I pretend I don’t see it. His relationship with Willa is supposed to be nothing more than platonic, but I wonder how much truth there is in that. Lynette stopped helicopter parenting her sister months ago when Willa’s apartment was finally finished and she moved into it. Even before that, she stopped giving Willa a hard time about spending nights there with Atlas, telling her that she hoped they were camping out in separate sleeping bags.

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say separate sleeping bags weren’t always a thing, but I don’t know that for sure, and even if I did, Willa is a grown woman, and Atlas is a good man. I have to believe they know what they’re doing. I’m sure Lynette has her suspicions too, but it’s almost as though if we don’t talk about it, it won’t be real.

“I think I’m pregnant.” Lynette sobs like her life is over, resting her cheek against my shoulder. “No. I know I am. I’m late by a few weeks and my boobs hurt, and—” She breaks off into a sob.

We both tighten our arms around her, though my whole body has gone numb. Willa is pretty much holding us both up.

I catch Atlas’s tortured expression before he bleeds away from the door, leaving on silent steps.

Lynette and I talked about having kids, but neither of us was ready. We haven’t known each other for a year yet, but timeframe aside, we never got proper childhoods. Lynette is as good as an empty nester at thirty-one years old. We both had so much we wanted to do before we thought of a family.

She turns her dark honey, tear-stained eyes up to me. I don’t know what to say. My lungs are heavier than they’ve ever been. Tears brim in my own eyes, the burn foreign to me.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so… I’m so scared. I thought I didn’t want this, but now… maybe it was meant to happen. Just like us meeting. A gift from the universe.”

“Damn right.” Willa lets go just enough to rub her sister’s back. “I’m so excited to be an auntie! You’re going to be the best mom, Linny. I know you’re scared, and, fuck, I’d be terrified if it was me. Pregnancy, birth, bringing a child into this world…” She catches my grimace and quickly shuts it. “But terror aside, you have the biggest heart, and you’re surrounded by people who will love and support you.”

“I never forgot a pill. I swear.”

I can’t handle the guilt on Lynette’s sweet face, and I tilt her chin up. Another wave of tears spills down her cheeks. “You’re the most fastidious person I know. Things just sometimes happen.”

“It’s just a numbers game, Linny,” Willa points out. And then, because she’s Willa, she has to take it way past all appropriate boundaries. “You two go at it like rabbits. No pill can hold up to that.”

At last, Lynette’s face cracks, a wobbly smile painting some joy into her uncertainty. “Are you okay?”

Me? She’s asking me?

“I’d be overjoyed to have a family with you. We’ve always made it work, whatever life threw at us. Willa’s right. This time, we’ll have plenty of help. We’re surrounded by love.”

Lynette takes her bottom lip between her teeth, biting it nervously. She twists to face her sister. “I’m so sorry I’m stealing your thunder. This is your big day.”

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