Page 15 of Rope Me

Alex doesn’t try to stop me.

And I don’t turn back.

The lobby is just a blur in my peripheral vision, but I feel the weight of eyes on me anyway—silent witnesses to my retreat. Judging. Pitying. Maybe just curious. It doesn’t matter. I keep moving. I make it to my Jeep. Get inside and grip the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles burn.

It isn’t until I’m through the front gates of the ranch, the wide open farm road stretching before me, that I finally let myself shatter. A million tiny pieces, breaking apart in silence.

CHAPTER 12

ALEXANDER

“Come on,Thrusty, let’s see you get out of this pen now.”

The damn goat eyes me, ears twitching like he’s working through the logistics. His lips curl back, exposing teeth sharp enough to do real damage. But he’s been thwarted this time. I’ve got reinforced fencing and a double latch.

I stand back and fold my arms across my chest. “Ha. His only way out now is to chew straight through the wire.”

Bowen leans against the fence. “I don’t know, man. The way things are going for you, he might just do it.”

My brother chuckles, but I can’t bring myself to join in. Instead, I shoot him a look and then get back to work.

It’s been two days since Cassidy ripped through me like a goddamn wrecking ball and I’m a fucking mess. The love of my life looked me dead in the eye and told me I wasn’t something she could afford. That I was a risk, a dangerous distraction, and a temptation she had to walk away from. I’m no better than that fucking asshole Randolph in her eyes and that’s a tough pill to swallow.

The worst part is, I didn’t see it coming.

I’ve spent my whole damn life believing love was for other people. That it wasn’t in the cards for me. But the second Ihad Cassidy in my arms, Iknewit was right.Hell, maybe deep down, I’d always known it was her—even when I was just a kid watching her wrangle my younger brothers with the patience of a saint.

I’ve finally found the one thing I never thought I’d have and I somehow let her slip through my fingers. I lift a bale of hay over my shoulder and heave it over the gate into Thrusty’s pen. “You gonna watch me work or pick up one of them damn bales? I expect this from the others, but you standing around, that’s new.” My words are a bark and the truth is, Bowen doesn’t deserve it. But I’m looking for a fight today.

Bowen shifts beside me with a calm and collected stride. “Depends, you gonna keep moping around, or are you gonna go get your woman?”

My head snaps toward him so fast my neck damn near protests. I narrow my eyes, fists clenching at my sides. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I already told you, she wants space. I’m giving it to her. She’s got enough going on and no one listening to what she wants. I’m not joining that list. I don’t know what she’s worried about. But I’m not a parent, hell I hardly had any parents.”

Bowen chuckles. “You’ve got me there. Pa didn’t do us any favors, but that’s all the more reason not to end up like him. Honestly man, fuck space. Go get her. I know you want to and I want you to too because you’re fucking nightmare to be around right now. Just fix this already, bring her back, and put us all out of this misery of having to be around you.”

I lean against the gate and take a drink from my thermos. “Yeah, thanks for the relationship advice. Means a lot from a dude whose longest relationship was the chick you met on a ten-day cruise.” But there’s no bite left in my words.

He continues, “I’ve never seen you so damn happy in all my life. Now you’re just gonna let it go like she didn’t just walk inhere and change everything? It’s like I don’t even know you right now.”

“Would you get back to work? Damn. Didn’t come out here for couples counseling with you,” I scoff.

I wave Bowen off and force myself back to work, but his words won’t stop rattling around in my skull. He’s got a way of lodging his arguments in deep like a splinter I can’t dig out. The overwhelming truth is, if it isn’t Cassidy, it’s not anyone. The fact burns through me, raw and undeniable.

I grit my teeth, trying to push past the thoughts. I need to lose myself in the steady rhythm of the work. I’ve been out here for two days straight lifting, hammering, fixing, anything to keep my hands busy and my mind from spiraling.

Then here comes my jackass brother’s voice clawing its way back in and calling me out.She’s already not speaking to me. I’ve already lost her. So what the hell do I have left to lose by putting it all on the line?

I drag a hand down my face, my chest tight with frustration. It’s a longing too big to name. Every instinct in me screams to go to her. I need to shake some sense into her and make her see that we don’t have to fight this thing between us. I knew I’d never get over her, but I can’t let her walk away either.

I exhale sharply and resolve hardens in my gut. Just like that, I make the decision. I’m going to fix this with Cassidy no matter what the cost.

The knot around my chest loosens for the first time in days and determination takes its place. There is lightness in my step. But I don’t say anything because knowing I was wrong and admitting it Bowen are two different things. So I shove it all down, grit my teeth, and keep working.

Thrusty breaks the silence by letting out a low, guttural noise. I turn to find him enthusiastically humping his new scratching post.

I glare at the goat. “Really helpful, asshole.”

Bowen snorts. “Even Thrusty knows you’re being a dumbass.”

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