Page 9 of Going the Distance

I moved up behind her and wrapped my arms around her middle. I couldn’t help it. There was a fifty-fifty shot that I would end up getting elbowed in the face, but it was worth it. She glanced over her shoulder at me. “I’m all sweaty.”

I kissed her neck. “I know.” I didn’t care. I was obsessed with this girl. Every move she made entranced me. I was falling hard and fast. Although I’d had a hell of a head start. The reality of it may have only just started, but this had been my fantasy for a hell of a long time.

We’d gone to the hospital together the day before to pick up Josh, not thinking of what it might look like. Luckily, he had accepted our excuse that we were training together without question, not noticing the red spots on Dani’s neck where my stubble had abraded her skin. What had happened with Josh was minor in terms of work injuries for a cop. Still, I hated that I hadn’t been there when it happened. My leg was getting better with each session. Dani had told me we could move from resistance bands to proper weights next week. Assuming we did the workouts and not just fucked like bunnies every time we saw each other. I had to get back to work, but my priorities were starting to split between my partner and my girl.

The right thing to do would be to tell him everything. Well, not everything. The man didn’t need to know the ins and outs of what I’d done to his sister. I should be telling him that our spending time together had led to more than a client-trainer relationship. I should have told him that I intended to stick around, that she wasn’t just a fling for me. I should have told her that a part of me had started falling for her more than adecade ago and that I was falling faster now. I didn’t tell him any of that. I told myself it was because he had just gotten hurt. That I should wait until he was a hundred percent before we had this conversation. My cowardice sat heavily in my gut. I knew it weighed on Dani, too, and she had enough on her plate as it was.

That horrible feeling had a way of evaporating when I saw her. I felt giddy with my crush becoming a reality. Ready to hide out in a cave and spend every second of every day on my knees, worshiping at the altar of Dani Keen. I knew her confidence had been shaken back in the day. If I’d gone to the same high school and she’d had anyone who so much as looked at her sideways, they would have ended up with my foot in their ass. Maybe it was better I hadn’t been there. I’d never want anything bad to happen to my girl, but through all the bull shit of life as a teenager, she developed a determination and grit that I was jealous of. It also led to her discovering a passion for fitness, health and kicking ass.

She didn’t need me to protect her or save her. She did it for herself. And in a few short weeks, I was going to stand ringside while she fulfilled the goal of her first amateur fight. In the few relationships I had ever had, everything worked around my schedule. Being a cop sometimes meant long days and dangerous situations. Working nights or weekends. Now, I was behind a desk. My job had become predictable and mundane. It was my turn to prioritize someone else. To make sure every hour of sleep and every meal got her closer to her goals.

I was here for it. I was excited about it. If she asked me to, I’d put on an apron and spend my days grilling salmon, making protein shakes, and washing her gym clothes. I was all in. I was more than all in. I just wasn’t sure how to tell Josh that.

Chapter 13

Dani

Ifinished off my workout feeling strong. I was four weeks out from my fight, so we were tampering down the weights and ramping up the fight-specific training. My nutrition, water intake, and sleep all had to be on point. No excuses.

My evening plan was to head home, have dinner, and sleep for as many hours as my brain would let me. I glanced at my phone as I walked to my car and was surprised to see seventeen notifications from my social media. I really only use social media to send memes back and forth with Josh. I stopped in the dark parking lot and opened the app to find myself tagged in a post.

Saturday, March 29th, Canadian Women’s Amateur Fight Night.There was a list of all the match-ups and pictures of all the fighters. Okay, that accounted for one notification, what about the others? I scrolled through and found myself tagged in several of the comments.

@DaniKeen997 ease up on the steroids

@DaniKeen997 I thought this was a women’s fight???

@DaniKeen997 sports bra is just for decoration lol

The comments went on and on, not just about me but about the other fighters.

No one watches women’s sports. We all look like men. No one would want to marry us. No one would want to fuck us.

They brought up every insecurity I’d had in my life and a ton that I hadn’t. In my head, I knew that I didn’t care if I had muscles, and some people thought that I looked masculine. Being female didn’t just mean one thing. I didn’t care about Joe Basement-Dweller, who didn’t think I looked good enough to marry, date, or even go to bed with. I didn’t care. At least, I didn’t want to care.

Realistically, the words stung. Strangers took time out of their day to try and make me feel less than. It was the bullies in high school all over again. I had worked a long time to give myself permission to exist in this world as I was. Even if people thought I was too tall or too whatever. I hated the fact that these comments made me want to shrink. To retreat into anonymity so no one would care enough about what I was doing to make me a target.

Fight training was a draining experience. It took up every second of the day I wasn’t at work and then some. Hydration was key, so I was peeing constantly. I had to hit my protein targets, and this close to the weight in salt was moderated, and sweet foods were off the menu. It would be worth it. It just made it harder to mentally turn the other cheek.

I threw my phone into my bag and drove home with my muscles tired and my chest tight. I’d put myself out there. I guess I should have expected that some of the attention would be bad, but I really hadn’t. There were positive comments too of course, but those weren’t the ones that stuck in my head.

One day. I so wanted to give myself one day to just grieve for the kid inside me that dealt with this kind of bullshit day in and day out. I owed it to her to present my best self at this fight. The most skilled, the strongest and really kick some ass. She deserved that; I deserved that. Still, a little support wouldn’t hurt.

The house was dark and quiet when I stepped through the front door. Despite having been stuck by a needle just the day before, Josh had picked up an extra shift. I loved my brother, but it was Brock I wanted. I had a boring dinner from the veggies and meat I had prepared over the weekend and jumped in the shower. The hot water did a little to alleviate the soreness in my muscles but nothing to get my head back in the game. Each step of training drained a little more comfort from my life. My reality was the hard steel of weights, the sharp strike of a punch. No comfort foods or lazy Sundays. No sleeping in or days off.

There was one thing that I knew would make me feel better. The fact that he was the only thing I wanted at that moment told me everything I needed to know about how fast this relationship was moving forward. I was pretty sure he was all in the same way that I was. I hesitated for half a second before throwing on a tank and shorts and texting Brock.

Chapter 14

Brock

“Sorry, Sarg, my girl needs me.”

He blinked at me and swished his tail.

I was a terrible cat dad, but I knew Dani must be exhausted from all the fight training, so I offered to go to her place instead of her coming to mine. Even if she did live with Josh. Having to keep such an important relationship a secret from my best friend made the whole thing feel like it wasn’t real. The guilt was also building each day I saw him and chickened out, telling him the truth. Dani and I tended to avoid talking about the subject when we were together. She was so close to her fight that it made sense to wait until after before we ripped this particular Band-Aid off. She didn’t want to step into the ring with her brother pissed at her.

I hopped in my truck and made the short drive to her place. I wished I could have brought something with me to cheer her up. Ice cream, chocolate, or anything like that was out with her training diet, and I knew she wasn’t a flower kind of girl. She said she wanted me, so as much as I hated to show up empty-handed, I was all I was bringing.

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