Page 75 of Second Chance for Mr. Alden

“Jess, I don’t know what this is right now between us.” He ran a finger down my arm.

I rolled my eyes, careful to avoid looking into his. I wasn’t asking him for forever. Fuck, I didn’t know what I wanted with him, but I thought we had time to figure it out as we went along. I didn’t want to hear him say it, so I beat him to the punch. “But it was a one-time thing. We shouldn’t have done it. Got it.”

His arms were like banded steel. No matter how much I tried to get away I couldn’t. “Look at me.”

“Why?” I grumbled.

If I looked at him he’d see how devastated I was. I’d learned to hide my emotions my entire life. My manipulative, demeaning, asshole parents made sure of it, but after one night with James Alden I was stripped raw, everything I felt bare for him to see.

“Baby, look at me.”

I shook my head.

“Jess.” He waited. The command back in his voice, a tone I was finding very hard to ignore.

“Fine.” I took a deep breath hoping more of my natural, self-preservation instincts kicked in as I worked to show a look of indifference.

Our eyes met and held.

He released a sigh. “That’s better.”

“I don’t know how,” I bit out.

“We need to communicate,” he said, gently running a finger down my cheek.

My traitorous body wanted to grab his finger, and make sure he’d never stop. I fought my body, forcing all the sarcasm I could muster into my words. “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

He laughed. The man fucking laughed.

I narrowed my gaze, feeling the pinch of my forehead as the skin drew together.

“I don’t know where this is going,”

My sassy mouth couldn’t stay shut. I was mad at him and honestly, I was starting to forget why. “You said that already.”

“Jess, shut the fuck up,” he growled, and ran a hand through his hair.

I snapped my mouth shut.

“I already screwed up the last time we tried this. I don’t want to do that again.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “I want us to connect again and, while part of me has no problem with us staying in the bed until it’s safe to go back home, I don’t want to miss out on actually talking to each other.”

“Oh. Okay.” I sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t know what to say to him. The last time we were together I thought he was my one, my lobster, my other half. I was all in and then he broke my heart.

“You’re thinking too hard about this,” he whispered in my ear.

“I am.” If he could lay it out there so could I. “Being with you feels good, James. But I’m scared to hope for more than this moment. I keep thinking you’re going to tell me it was a mistake.”

He held on to me. “I know. I can’t promise anything right now, Jess, but this here with you isn’t a mistake. Being with you nine years agoandtoday will never be a mistake. I promise not to lie to you or make a decision about us without you again. Okay?”

“Okay.” That was the crux of it. No one could promise a relationship was going to last, but they could promise to work on it. Last time he’d completely taken me out of the equation and decided for us, but this promise of his felt better than if he’d promised never to leave me.

His arms loosened and he tucked me against his chest. “So what were you thinking before?”

“That I’d like us to get out. Maybe grab some clam cakes and chowder at Iggy’s.” My stomach growled, reinforcing the decision to get food.

“That was our first date.” He sounded pleased.

“Yeah.” We’d picked a public place to meet and this one wasn’t far from either of us who were living in Providence at the time. I was staying at Jaxon’s penthouse while I decided what to do with my life.

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