Page 65 of Second Chance for Mr. Alden

He was doing all of the cooking after my grilled cheese fiasco. The dishes were the least I could do.

“It’s okay, Jess. I’ve got it.”

“No, Alden. I need to contribute in some way.”

“It’s fine. I’m not really tired anyway.” He jerked his chin toward the bedroom, dismissing me. “I’ll see you in the morning.

“Okay.” I bit my lip as he turned away and grabbed the nearest dish to wash.

Alden was exhausted. He never complained, but I saw it in how his eyes drooped later in the day, how he’d started to take a short nap when I went over to Greta’s to hang out in the afternoon once he knew Paul, a retired cop, was present. How, by the end of the day, his straight posture dipped just the littlest bit.

Every night he insisted on taking the damn couch instead of the bed. I’d even offered to swap every other night, but no, Alden insisted he was fine.

I looked back at him over my shoulder. There was no way a six-foot-four guy with a body as broad as his wasfineon a fucking loveseat. My eyes flicked back over to the couch, as I thought about it. If there were no cushions there would be no way to sleep there, right? I mean I had a king-sized bed. There was no reason he couldn’t sleep there too.

My body heated with the thought of him sleeping so close. As friends, I reminded myself. He’d be sleeping next to me as a friend,nota lover. With one last check to make sure he wasn’t watching me I grabbed the two seat cushions from the couch and tossed them into my bedroom and then quickly ran back out and grabbed the one on the armchair too in case he got any ideas about sleeping on that instead. Alden was predictably chivalrous.

I turned off all the lights in the living room except for the one on the side table. I got ready for bed so fast that it wasn’t until I slid under the covers, that I realized my t-shirt was on backwards and the shorts I grabbed didn’t match.

I laid there, my heart thundering in my chest and my throat growing dry. Even though I badly wanted to get up and get a drink, I didn’t dare. Finally the sink stopped. Footsteps echoed through the living room and into the bathroom. When he still didn’t say anything, I knew it was only a matter of time before he noticed my redecorating.

Even after I heard the sink turn on and off in the bathroom and him leave that room I still jumped when he pushed open the bedroom door and said with far more calm than I was expecting, “Jess, where are the couch cushions?”

I faked a yawn. “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

“Jess.” He flipped on the overhead light, his lips pressed tightly together. “The couch out there is uncomfortable enough. Give me the damn cushions back. Now.”

I shrugged and cleared my throat trying to get rid of the slightest tremor in my voice. “If you can’t find them then maybe you should just sleep in the bed. It’s big enough for both of us.”

His head jerked back, and a quick jab of pain hit my chest. I didn’t think it wasthatbig of a deal to sleep in here, but clearly, I underestimated his true feelings. It was like being rejected by him all over again. Tears welled up in my eyes. To hide my reaction, I rolled over so my back faced him.

“We’re both adults, Alden. I wasn’t going to force you to have sex with me. I just figured you’d be more comfortable in a bed. That maybe you’d stayed out there because you were being considerate of me. I didn’t realize it was because sleeping in the same bed as me—even fully clothed—was repulsive to you. The fucking cushions are under the bed. Get them yourself.” I swaddled the blanket tighter around me, suddenly feeling chilled.

He didn’t move or say a word.

“Are you waiting for me to wrap them up for you like a fucking present?” Why was he dragging this out? Anger, swift and fierce, had my blood boiling. I’d wanted him beside me mainly so that he could get a good night’s rest, but a small part of me had hoped he’d be happy about this. I’d thought things had changed over the last few weeks, but clearly, I was wrong. I was furious at him for not wanting to give us a chance and at myself for wanting it so badly.

Fuck, Alden. Fuck the past. Fuck everything.

I shoved the blanket off of me and climbed out of bed. I dropped down to my knees and yanked the pillows out from underneath. Once I had the first one in my hands, I threw it at Alden.

It bounced off his chest and hit the floor. The second one did the same. By the time I threw the third one, he was ready and caught it.

I didn’t understand why I’d gotten my hopes up or why this one moment cut me like a knife. I sighed. Actually I did know. My shoulders dipped and curved in on me as sadness weighed them down. I’d been lying to myself for so long, telling myself it would just be as friends. But I knew deep down there was never a time when I wanted to be ‘just friends’ with Alden. Not that it mattered. Nothing was ever going to happen between us anyway. I just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up tomorrow pretending this never happened.

Now that the anger left my body, I shoved the sadness deep down inside of me to deal with another day but failed miserably as it resurfaced almost immediately. I climbed back into bed, pulled the blanket up to my chin, and faced the wall again. “Shut the light off on your way out.” My voice came out slightly husky and harsh.

Silence spread throughout the room. I didn’t look at him again, but I didn’t have to. His footsteps padded toward the pillows on the floor then continued out the door. A minute later he was back, he shut the light, and then the door.

I let out a shaky breath. I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tears that ran down my cheeks in a steady stream. Once I got these tears out, I’d be fine. I always was.

The other side of the bed dipped, and I squeaked in surprise. “What the fuck?”

“Sleeping in the same bed as you isn’t repulsive,” Alden said, in a low raspy tone.

I rolled to my back not sure how to respond to him.

“I’m sorry, Jess.”

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