Page 28 of Revenant

How am I supposed to keep them safe if they aren’t with me?

Part of me wants to beg them to run now, just leave me, but I suspect if I even suggest it, I would already be tossed over Gunner’s shoulder and gone.

That they don’t just do it means this plan of his is dangerous.

I can’t get over the suspicion that something will happen if I’m not there to protect him. I want to send the ghosts after him, even reach for the refreshing cool air I associate with the afterlife, but it’s pointless. No ghost can travel that far without fading out of existence. I know…I’ve tried to send more than one after the guys.

I just wanted to check on them.

Make sure they were okay.

The bitter cold around me should burn my lungs, my body should seize as I absorb more and more of the afterlife into my system, but I relax into the pain. The nothingness is a comfort, and I curl my hands into fists to keep from reaching for more, craving the escape.

Somehow, I don’t think it’s a good thing that the cool air feels more invigorating with each visit. It’s a crutch, a place where I can hide away from the pain of this world. Jaceson places a comforting hand around my waist, and the cold sting of the afterlife still clinging to me, much like brambles, finally releases its hold and fades.

“Come.” He tugs me away from the doorway, and I follow blindly. It’s not until he opens the door to my room that I snap out of my downward spiral.

“Hey,” Jaceson murmurs, cupping my face so I can’t focus on anything but him. “He’s going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of this. We just need to keep our heads down until he returns.”

He is so confident, so sure of himself, that I narrow my eyes. It’s almost like he knows something I don’t. “Keeping secrets?” I raise an imperious brow and pull away.

Secrets almost destroyed us once.

I fear we won’t survive it a second time.

I cross my arms as he prowls through the room they assigned me, purposely not looking at me. “Jaceson?”

He purses his lips, like he’s waffling on what to say.

Thinking of lies?

Just the thought of that hurts.

As if he can sense me pulling away, he stalks toward me like he could physically stop it. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

But he grimaces even as he says it.

He’s so good at hiding his emotions that it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Before I was taken, I swore I could read him. Now, it’s like looking at a stranger, and I don’t like it. I want my Jaceson back, but I’m starting to wonder if he ever existed anywhere else but in my mind.

A thread of suspicion winds its way around me tighter and tighter. “Why are you here?”

“First, you should know each of us wanted to be the one to come for you. Gunner and I were sent because we were the most qualified for the job.”

I tighten my arms around myself, more than a little confused. “Job?”

Jaceson huffs out a breath, then threads his hands through his hair and drags the strands away from his face, suddenly finding the floor exciting. When he drops his hands on his hips, a determined expression hardens his face, and he glances at me again. “We haven’t known each other long, and you waited to tell us your secrets until you thought we were in danger.”

My cheeks warm, and I struggle not to get defensive.

Fuck that.

Shaking off the feeling, I lift my chin, refusing to feel bad for protecting myself. I have been abused long enough. I won’t allow it to continue, especially now that I have the means to make it stop. Before I can defend myself, Jaceson nearly stumbles over himself to speak.

“We understand why. You have every right to protect yourself.” He holds up his hands as if trying to hold off my explosion, his eyes so earnest that it tempers my anger. Then his shoulders slump, and he scrubs the back of his head, muttering to himself more than me. “Fuck. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you anything. Either Jameson or Hicks would be better—both can explain this shit without making a mess of things.”

“Explain what?” I’m more baffled than worried at this point, relieved the guys don’t hold my secrets against me. It was a risk sharing my abilities with them. I’m still not sure if it was worth it yet. Only time will tell.

Jaceson stops pacing, coming to stand in front of me with only a few feet separating us. He draws back his shoulders, then lifts his chin and stares me straight in the eyes. “We have our own secrets.”

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