Page 37 of Séance

I should be focusing on the exercises Nan left for me. I need to learn how to ground myself, a way of shielding to ward off spirits, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about the guys. While the last thing I want to do is distance myself from them, I’m not sure I see a way around it.

Tears gather in my eyes, and I shudder at the thought of never seeing them again, but it’s better than the alternative.

I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them—not that the guys would want to have anything to do with me after the way I acted. I blush, mortified at the way I ran from them. If they didn’t think I was a freak before, they most definitely do now.

Sighing with defeat, I push my fanciful thoughts of friendship away.

Unfortunately, the yearning is harder to banish.

I pour my tea, lost in thought as I wait for it to steep. I don’t understand why they went straight for Jaceson and not me.

Were they there for me or him?

I need to talk to Nan. Until I learn exactly what triggered them to appear, I’ll need to keep my distance. I grimace at the thought of anything happening to them because of my silly infatuation.

My phone rings, and I jolt in surprise, fumbling as I pull it out of the pocket of my sleep pants. Nan’s name flashes across the screen like I summoned her, and I scramble to answer the phone and bring it up to my ear. “Hello?”

“Order me a daiquiri, would you, dear? I’ll be there in a minute,” Nan yells at someone, and I pull the phone away when her voice threatens to shatter my eardrum. “Don’t be stingy. Order me an extra large!” A throat clears, then her voice softens as she speaks into the phone. “Tallie-Rue? Are you there?”

Buttons are pressed, and I wince at the piercing tone. “Nan? Is everything okay?”

“Of course, dear. I’m just calling to make sure you’re okay.” The comforting sound of her voice has my throat aching, and I slump against the counter. Though I haven’t known her long, I miss her dreadfully.

I fiddle with the handle of my teacup and shrug. “I’m good. I spent some time with the guys last night.” I can’t stop the way my voice warms, practically gushing as I remember the thrill of being around them. “It was fun.” My voice cracks on the last word, and my bravado crumbles.

“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry.” Her soothing voice is like a warm hug, and I swear I can smell her vanilla and flower perfume wrap around me. I end up confessing everything to her in a rush.Silence fills the space after I finish talking, then her voice turns bracing. “You didn’t really think that your abilities would just magically leave you alone, did you?”

She tsks, and I guiltily shuffle my feet. “Maybe?”

Nan sighs softly. “I’m so sorry, darling. I shouldn’t have left you all on your own. I should?—”

“Nonsense,” I quickly interrupt, pushing away from the counter. “I have the journals you gave me and the exercises to practice. You told me everyone has to follow their own path to settle the spirits, and you’re right. I was just feeling sorry for myself.”

“Oh, honey…” Her voice turns watery. “You are an amazing young woman. Don’t sell yourself short. It’s a minor miracle that you survived on your own for so long. If my daughter were still around, I would swat her scrawny ass for leaving you to deal with this on your own.”

I shudder at the thought of my mother, then snort at the image of Nan chasing her around with a spatula. Unfortunately, my amusement fades quickly, leaving me depressed as I think of the guys. “I just wish…”

“I know, baby. Being born a Killaghan isn’t easy, but we wouldn’t have been given these gifts if we weren’t able to handle them,” she reminds me, a small reprimand in her tone.

The fact that she would call them a gift and not a curse is so different from how I was raised that I can’t wrap my head around it. “Will I ever be normal?” I ask in a small voice, not sure I want to know the answer.

Nan’s laughter booms through the phone, automatically bringing a smile to my lips. “Who wants to be normal? Normal is boring. You, my darling Tallie-Rue, are going to be extraordinary.”

It’s impossible to speak beyond the ache in my throat. I’ve never had anyone believe in me before, and it’s both exhilarating and daunting to live up to her expectations.

“Now, I want you to hang up this phone, do your studies, then get out of the house,” she orders, her tone gruff. “You’ve been locked away enough of your life, don’t let your fears keep you from living. That would be a real tragedy. Live your life to the fullest, honey. It’s the biggest revenge you can give your mother,” she mutters, anger bleeding into her words. “Now go.”

“I love you,” I say quickly before she can hang up, my heart feeling like it will explode out of my chest.

There is a pause on the other end, then her teary voice carries easily through the phone. “I love you more than I can express, my little Tallie-Rue. You’ve given me more than you will ever know.” She clears her throat, then she huffs. “Now get. You have things to do, and I have a daiquiri to find. Where on earth did those dang girls go?”

She mutters to herself as the phone disconnects. I hug the phone to my chest, a smile on my lips. I debated bringing up my questions about the boys, then decided against it. Nan has no fear and no filter. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her advice…or brave enough to follow it yet.

Feeling buoyant from her confidence in me, I’m more determined than ever to master my abilities. I grab my tea, pick up my ancestor’s journal, and prepare for a long day of research.

Nan is right—the only thing holding me back now is me.

Chapter Eleven

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