Page 12 of Séance

I don’t spare any of them a glance as I flee, desperate for time to sort my thoughts. Spending years in solitude has made me wary of being around people and crowds. Though I wasn’t completely isolated, my surroundings were strictly controlled, the staff constantly watching for any signs of disobedience, then informing my father of any infraction.

I was taught any type of emotion was a liability, taught never to draw attention to myself.

Just being near the guys has my senses going haywire, throwing my emotions completely out of whack, and it’s sending my survival instincts into overdrive.

When the guys look at me, it’s different from the invasive stares of my father’s minions. They are not looking for my weaknesses or searching for any flaws they can exploit. It’s almost like they are genuinely curious about me, and that freaks me out more than a little.

What if they don’t like what they see?

Or worse, what if they do?

Being near them is like waiting for a blow and not knowing when it’s coming.

I nearly trip over the plastic bags in the hallway and barely dodge the stacks of flattened cardboard in my rush. As I scramble down the stairs, I’m lucky I don’t snap my neck. I’m panting by the time I reach the bottom like I ran a marathon.

I hate that I’m shaking just because some boy looked at me, and I absolutely detest that I don’t know how to interpret the chaotic emotions they invoke with just a casual glance. With so few social interactions, I’m left floundering on how to respond.

I take refuge in the kitchen, unsurprised when I see Nan sipping her tea and shuffling her tarot cards. She smiles when I burst into the room, but her grin fades when she catches sight of my face.

“What’s wrong, dear?” She immediately stands and pours me a cup of tea, setting it on the table across from her.

I gingerly take a seat, still unused to her treating me like I’m someone who matters. I huddle over the cup and take a sip, trying to organize my muddled thoughts.

“Did those boys do anything to upset you?” A scowl darkens her face, and she glares up at the ceiling as if she can see the aforementioned boys. The way her eyes narrow, I fear she might try to put a curse on them or something.

“No, they are wonderful. I just…panicked.” I look down at my tea, playing with the handle of the cup, a little ashamed for overreacting. “I don’t know how to interact with anyone, especially people my age.”

“Oh, dear, you did nothing wrong.” She reaches over and pats my hand, her expression softening with sympathy, then her whole body quivers with outrage. “I wish I could go back and kill that dratted man for what he did to you.”

Before she can work herself up, I grab her hand and smile. “You came when I needed you most—that’s all that matters.”

It’s true. I don’t hate my grandmother for not knowing what was happening. It wasn’t until I was old enough to go onlinethat I realized most families loved each other, but by then, my parents had pretty much trained me to accept their abuse.

That didn’t mean I didn’t fight back in my own ways.

Nan leans back in her seat, blinking away tears as she picks up her cup and takes a sip. “Your father was infatuated with your mother the instant he met her. He swept her off her feet, and she couldn’t leave fast enough. She didn’t like being surrounded by my woo-woo stuff. She thought the occult was all a hoax. The instant she could leave, she disappeared and never looked back.”

She sets her cup down and peers out the window, lost in thought. “Knowing how much she hated this life, I let her go. I didn’t try to contact her, but I never thought she would turn that hatred on you. I should have?—”

“Stop.” I refuse to allow her to take responsibility for something that wasn’t her fault. “I don’t blame you. You shouldn’t either. My mother could have sent me to you at any time. She could have taught me about our heritage. Instead, she was a selfish woman who didn’t like anyone grabbing the attention she thought she deserved. I have no doubt if she hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be sitting here today.”

Nan leans forward and places a lingering kiss on my forehead. “Bless you, child. You are too kind to this old woman.”

“Nonsense,” I reply with complete sincerity, a coy smile curling my lips. “You’re not old, you’re timeless.”

“Oh, you!” She hoots with laughter and swats at me.

I hide my smile behind my cup, feeling fiercely protective of the old woman, and not just because she took me into her life or accepted me without question, despite the chaos I brought into her world. No, I adore her for teaching me what it’s like to feel unconditional love. While it’s an uncomfortable sensation, she assures me it’s something I will get used to with time.

Nan refills my tea, then retakes her seat, fiddling with her cup. “I’m going to cancel my cruise. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you all alone so soon after moving?—”

“No, absolutely not. You’ve already done enough for me by allowing me to stay.” I glare at her, my agitation getting the better of me, and I set my cup down so hard, it clatters loudly. “You’ve been planning this trip for months. I won’t allow you to cancel it now. You will go on the cruise with your friends and enjoy yourself.”

When she scrunches her face, ready to protest, I hold up my hand. “College starts in a few weeks anyway. I’ll soon be busy with classes. After living with my father for so long, it will be nice to have some time alone—time to spread my wings.”

Indecision wars on her wrinkled face, then she harrumphs loudly and a mischievous twinkle enters her eyes. “I suppose the old girls will be lost without me. I’ll go if you make me a promise.”

“Anything,” I reply instantly, then want to curse myself when her expression takes on a devilish look.