Page 72 of All The Happily Ever Afters

He was going to kiss me though. I know he was. But for him it was probably something else. A one-time fuck.

It hurts to think that, but it’s true. I know it is.

I wipe my face again and look down at my hands. Shit, I forgot about the makeup. My hands are covered in black eyeliner with a smear of bright pink lipstick.

I quickly hunch over and scrub my face with the bottom of my tank top, feeling a cool breeze blow across my midsection as I angrily rub off as much as I can. As I do, the bunny ears slide down my face and I rip them off and throw them on the ground like a petulant child.

I stare at them for a second and decide to pick them up. I can’t just leave them on the side of the road, even if right now I hate them. I see a trash can on the side of someone’s house andwalk quickly to it to throw tonight's offending evidence in the bin. Now it's right where it belongs.

I take in a staggering breath and keep walking. I have a good twenty to thirty-minute walk ahead of me still. But I need it. I must look like a mess. I’m sure my face is red and puffy from rubbing at it. My hair is all tangled, and I don’t even have a hair tie to pull it back like I want to.

I hear trick-or-treaters squealing as they run on the sidewalk across the street. They’re going in the opposite direction, and their parents are behind them chatting while the kids run ahead.

I look like a wreck, and I feel pathetic and disappointed with everything.

I just need to sleep, but I don’t want to go back to the dorms.

Fate doesn’t care about what I want though. That much is obvious.

She brought Ryker into my life again, only to dangle him in front of me one last time before snatching him from my grasp.

Fate’s a bitch.

I close my eyes and shake my head. No, it’s my fault. It was my fault back then for not doing everything I could to help him. And it’s my fault tonight for not pushing Khloe away faster and leaving with him. I wish I’d seen him go. I would’ve gone with him.

Fate gave me a second chance, and I blew it. That's no one's fault but my own.

RYKER

Ican’t fucking run away every time I get pissed. But running is better than snapping. I can't afford to let my temper get me into trouble. My mouth is still slammed shut. I slow down as I approach a red light and look down at my hands to examine them. It’s a habit of mine that helps me calm down. There’s usually oil somewhere around my fingernails even if I scrub them clean. I don’t see anything though.

I look over to my left at the kids in their little fairy and skeleton costumes screeching with delight, and then to my right at a 24/7 convenience store and gas station. I shouldn’t be driving right now, not in this state. I just need to calm down for a minute. I pull in and park my bike, but I don’t get off.

I’m not very good with conflict. I’m better than I used to be. Back then it was fight, fight, fight. Not that I wanted to fight that bitch.

I don’t know what her problem was. It’s been years since someone’s talked to me like that. It still fucking hurts though. It wasn’t even to my face, but at least it wasn’t behind my back.

I thought I’d changed. Ihavechanged. I know I have. I’m good enough for her. But either Catherine can’t see it, or she doesn’t want to.

He needs to leave now.I remember Khloe’s words and they get me all pissed off again. That’s when the memories hit me. Khloe’s the chick who was dating that IT guy I hired.

I groan and cover my face with my hands.

Her being a bitch tonight is definitely because of me, but it has nothing to do with who I am.

She came into the office of my shop awhile back. I knew she was with him. I think his name was Joey. I can’t even remember. I only hired him for a week to set up the new system. She came in at lunch to see him every day. And each passing day she showed me more and more attention. So much so that I felt bad for the guy.

And then she came into my office and closed the door behind her. I can’t remember what she said verbatim, but she basically offered me a quick fuck.

All I said to her was,You can leave now unless you want me to call your boyfriend in here and repeat what you just said. I never saw her again. Not that I minded. But now her little rant makes sense.

A smile creeps up on my face. She’s just holding a grudge and jealous I was giving Catherine attention.

I feel a small bit of relief, but only for a moment.

Catherine’s gonna be pissed at me for leaving maybe. But she still didn’t stick up for me.

That’s what really matters. She could have, but she didn’t.

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