Page 85 of Alpha & Omega

She rolled me out of the hospital, and I suddenly itched for a smoke. I hadn’t cared while I’d been in recovery, too drugged up to notice. Now, it was all I thought about, but I wasn’t allowed if I wanted to heal, so no more smoking for me. It was shit for my health, anyway.

The late August day was humid and hot as hell. I blinked at the brightness and Harley handed me my sunglasses. I put them on as he rushed off to get the car.

“Do you have any questions before you leave?” the nurse asked.

I shook my head.

Surprisingly, she rested a hand on my shoulder. “You’re in for a rough road. It’s never easy to lose a piece of your body. But you can do this and have a normal life again. You’ll be able to walk and do almost all that you used to. Even athletes can still do what they love with practice and determination. You can, too. You’revery strong and healthy, and you’re still young. Don’t let this deter or hinder you.”

I already knew that, but that didn’t change the fact I was about to lose more than my leg. None of it mattered anymore. Everything was all out of control.

I sat upright on my bed, finally at home with the TV on, but I wasn’t paying attention to it. Harley walked in, carrying a tray full of food, but instead of feeling grateful, it only made me angry. He was trying so hard, but I couldn’t let him waste his life on me.

“I’m staying with you for a while. Your doctor doesn’t want you alone, at least until you’ve recovered from your concussion. Good thing my restaurant is right downstairs. How convenient!” he chuckled.

He put the tray on my lap. The food looked so good, too.

“I figured comfort food is best. This is homemade chicken pot pie, a small salad, and some fruit. We need to keep up your strength and health. You’re going to need it.”

“You don’t need to cook for me.”

“As if you can right now. Who else, if not me?”

“Dammit, Harley. Don’t waste yourself on me. This isn’t just about my fucking leg! My medical expenses will be more than I can handle. I’m going to lose my fucking bar. Those kids are going to be out of work! I’ve fucking failed everyone! You’ve got a life… a successful one. And you have Hudson, who you need to take care of. Just stop it. Go home.”

He sighed and scooped out a bit of chicken, vegetables, and pastry. “Eat.”

“Stubborn…”

Harley snorted a laugh. “I’m sorry, but who’s being stubborn? It’s definitely not me. Now eat.”

I opened my mouth and let him feed me. “I can feed myself,” I said with my mouthful.

“Then do it,” he snapped. “I think you need to eat and get rest first, but let’s talk, since you’re so intent on pushing me away. Do you believe I don’t know what’s at stake? Do you believe I haven’t looked into what it’s going totake to help someone who has to learn how to walk again? Do you really believe I would just shrug and walk away from someone I love and care about because he’s reached a dark moment in his life? If so, then you give me little fucking credit. And I’m a little stung you would think so lowly of me. You should know my character by now that I don’t back away from people simply when things get fucking hard. Look at what I had to go through with Hudson. Yeah, you and I haven’t been together very long, but I know how I feel about you, and I refuse to turn my back on you when you’re at your lowest, not that I want to. I don’t. Through all this, I want to be here for you, and I want you here for me, too, because I know you would be if the roles were reversed—no doubt about it. And you have. Look how you helped me after Ava returned. Dare to contradict me. I may be a romantic and such, but I’m no fucking pushover. Now, if you want me to leave because you can’t stand me, tell me now, and I’ll stick around until you can handle things on your own. But if you’re doing this because you’re feeling especially sacrificial, then once again… fuck you.”

And there went the fucking tears again. I put my hands to my face and sobbed, feeling completely unworthy of Harley, and like such an asshole.

He removed the tray from my lap, setting it aside, and crawled into bed with me, pulling me into him, and holding me with promises of never letting go, just like he always did. While comforting, my fear that he’d leave was visceral, despite me trying to push him away. I wasn’t sure I could take it when he did, down the road. It would be easier for it to happen now.

“I can only imagine what you’re going through, baby,” he whispered, stroking my back. “Life is going to be hard. There’s no point in sugarcoating it. But you’ve gotten through hard times before and came out swinging. You can do it again, but this time, you won’t be alone. You have me, your Rejects, and Tony. Hell, Hudson wants to help, too, because he likes you. Let us all take care of you, Skaterboy. Together, we’ll get you better and try to fix your financial problems. The only thing holding us back right now is you.”

I nodded on his chest. “I feel like such a shit. God, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re in a terrible and dark place right now, so I understand your reactions, and I’m not angry with you—a little hurt, maybe, but not angry. Does this mean you want to keep me?”

I huffed a wet laugh. “Yeah, I really do. I’m just so scared, Harley.”

“Me,too, baby, but we’ll get you through this together… me and your family.”

I love you, too. The words never left my lips, still drenched in fear despite Harley’s uplifting words. While I wanted to feel his hope, there was just nothing left in me. I was tapped out emotionally and mentally.

I didn’t know what time it was when I woke up to someone snuggling into me. My eyes fluttered open to the waning sunlight as evening approached. When I looked down at the person sleeping next to me, I’d expected it to be Harley, but the floppy red hair surprised me.

“Pippin?”

He suddenly bolted upright before rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” He looked down at his hands that he’d rested on his lap. “I’m so sorry I didn’t come see you.”

“It’s fine. I understand why.”

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