Page 84 of Corrupt Obsession

“I don’t want it to be like this between us.”

But it was, and there was no going back to the way it had been. Maybe in the beginning, they could have restored their relationship, but they’d gone too far. Their bond was so mangled, she couldn’t imagine them having a relationship that was even remotely normal or healthy.

“I didn’t intend to do this,” he said, kissing the side of her breast. “I brought you here so we could talk about the future.”

She stiffened. “What future?”

Jesse lifted his head and searched her face. “Ours.”

She gaped at him.

“I’m going to graduate soon. I wanted to talk about what we should?—”

“We?”

She shoved him hard enough to make him blink.

“Get off me!” she snapped.

He sighed. “Calm down.”

“Youcalm down! Get the hell off me before I scream my head off.”

It wasn’t a huge threat, considering the isolated setting, but Jesse rose and sat behind the wheel as she shot up and hastily fixed her bra and yanked her sweater down.

“There’s nothing to discuss with me. You’re going to graduate and go off to college in another city or, better yet, out of state. I’ll finish school and go my own way. Our futures aren’t the same.”

He stared at her, expression unreadable.

“There is noweorourorus. What we had, what we were, is gone. You…” She swallowed hard, eyes stinging with tears. “You hurt me more than anyone else. I trusted you. I never thought you of all people would ever…”

When he reached for her, she recoiled and wrapped her arms around herself.

“I want this to be over. Ineedit to be over.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I need you gone.”

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered.

He was clearly gutted. She ruthlessly stomped out the flurry of weak emotions that told her she’d gone far enough, that it wasn’t the Christian way to repay evil with evil. She was supposed to overcome evil with good, but she didn’t have that in her. All she had was anger. Lots of it. Months of suppressed rage and shame and helplessness erupted, spewing like hot lava. She had to get it out, to let him know how she saw him, and that there was no future where they were together.

“What’s between us isn’t a gift, it’s poison,” she said hoarsely. “It’s corrupt and rotten, and nothing good has come from it. You think if it felt so good, if we were meant to be, that I would spend an hour scrubbing my body every time you touch me and still never feel clean?”

He went very still. She hardened her heart against the anguish creeping into his expression. This was her moment to end this once and for all, and she was going to see it through, even if it destroyed them both in the process.

“I hate that I can’t look Dad in the eye. I hate that I have to watch every word I say because I’m terrified I’ll let something slip. I hate that you were my first and that you conditioned my body to respond to you.”

She trembled under the tremendous, crushing weight on her shoulders.

“You think what’s stopping me from telling someone is love, but it isn’t love for you. It’s love for Lynne. Knowing what you are would destroy her.”

“What am I?”

A tear slipped down her cheek as she said, “You’re a monster.”

His expression went blank, his vulnerability and agony vanishing so quickly, she wasn’t sure it had been there at all. Silence reined. A bird swooped in front of the truck before it flapped away, chirping gaily. A breeze caused fine tendrils of hair to slide across her face.

“Say it, Vi.”

She knew what he wanted to hear and finally had the strength to.

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