Page 67 of Corrupt Obsession

She hadn’t expected this to be so excruciating. Why did doing the right thing feel like she was killing a part of herself? She felt drained, sad, and lonely.

She and Jesse were in the awkward, angry phase of a breakup. Even with her eyes closed, she sensed the battle going on inside of him. Whether that was because of her or the fact that his teammates and a good portion of the school would soon be speculating why he was quitting football, she wasn’t sure.

When the SUV slowed, she opened her eyes and frowned as he turned into the same deserted park where he first kissed her.

“What are you doing? Mom wanted us to go straight home.”

“She thought I’d talk to Coach after school, so we have time.” He parked, undid his seatbelt, and turned toward her. “We need to talk.”

Her heart skipped. “About what?”

His eyes narrowed. “About you and me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He leaned forward, sky-blue eyes glittering as he stated, “You can’t give me what you gave me and take it back, Vi.”

“That was a mistake,” she whispered.

“No, it wasn’t,” he clipped. “This…” He gestured between them. “Isn’t a mistake. Can’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?” she asked, feigning confusion.

He tensed. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act like you don’t feel anything for me.”

“I never said that. I love you. You’re my brother.”

He leaned in and growled, “We both know you haven’t seen me as your brother for a while now.”

It was the closest he’d come to acknowledging his late-night visits. The eruption of butterflies and heat in her belly horrified her. She thought declaring that their relationship was wrong would be enough to suppress her body’s reaction to him. Not so. Her weak, susceptible flesh was eager to jump back into the fire, heedless of the consequences.

When she tried to turn away, Jesse clasped her face, forcing her to look at him.

“I’ve been in hell for so fucking long. I can’t go back to that.” He rested his forehead against hers. “You love me, and not just as a brother. Admit it.”

Her heart slammed into her ribcage as her eyes flooded with the tears she’d been keeping at bay all day. “We can’t.”

“We can.” His voice vibrated with implacable determination.

She wanted to leap into the deep end. To let him lead and take care of everything, but she knew he wasn’t thinking it through. Indulging for the moment would only lead to more heartache. “Jesse.”

“Do you honestly think how we feel about each other is going to go away? We didn’t just kiss. I claimed every inch of you. You wanted it just as much as I did. You still do.”

She flushed and braced her hand against his chest, pushing for breathing space. “It doesn’t matter! This is wrong.”

“Stop saying that. There’s nothing wrong with this.”

“If this is soright,then are you willing to tell Mom and Dad?” she challenged.

If he truly wanted her, he would be willing to tell their parents this wasn’t a fling, but a genuine, loving relationship he wanted to pursue. No such words emerged from him. The long silence cut deep and confirmed everything she’d been thinking. He didn’t care how conflicted she felt or that, if discovered, it would devastate their parents. Like Amnon, he was focused purely on sex and wouldn’t stop until he quenched his needs. He also seemed fine with keeping their relationship a dirty secret. Why? So there would be minimal damage in the long run?

She wrenched away from him and ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to stuff down her feelings of being sullied and used. That’s what she got for engaging in such a relationship. Regardless of how much her body enjoyed whatJesse did to her, it wouldn’t last. She cattle prodded her hormones into submission and took a deep, calming breath. She promised God she would stop them from continuing down this slippery slope. Jesse was already too far gone, so she had to take a stand for both their sakes.

She stared through the windshield at the empty park as she said, “I’ve made so many mistakes. Mistakes with Tucker. Mistakes with you that have made things…” She swallowed hard. “Difficult. I’m sorry for that. I can’t take it back, but I can do what’s right, starting now. I just want to forget it ever happened.”

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