Page 72 of Corrupt Idol

“No.”

That hurt like hell, but she tried not to take it personally. She gave him one last hug before she left the room and closed the door on her way out. She felt as if there was a bowling ball on her chest, restricting her airflow. It would be better once they laid Lynne to rest, right? To keep herself busy, she decided to make breakfast. She was just finishing up bacon and eggs when Jesse walked into the room wearing a dress shirt that matched his eyes and black slacks. He tossed his jacket over the back of a chair and stared out the window with his hands clasped behind him, his posture military straight.

She was setting the table when Dad appeared. He said nothing to either of them as he grabbed the car keys.

“Dad?” she called.

“I’m going to take my own car,” Dad said without making eye contact. “You two can catch up later.”

“Isaac,” Jesse began.

Dad held up his hand. “I want to clear my head before the funeral. I’ll see you two there.”

He slipped into the garage. She stood in the kitchen, twisting her hands together, not sure whether she should do anything.

“He’s gonna be okay,” Jesse said.

“I hope so.” She held up a plate of food. “Come eat.”

They sat side by side at the table, neither of them eating much as it drizzled. The house seemed empty even with both of them there. She kept looking down the hallway, expecting Lynne to appear. When she felt the tears coming, she collected their plates and cleaned up the kitchen. All too soon, there was nothing left to do. Jesse had taken up his stance in front of the window again. She glanced at her phone and saw her messages piling up. She couldn’t read the condolences. She had to conserve as much energy as possible for the trials ahead.

“Want to go for a drive?” he asked.

“Yes.” She couldn’t stay in this house that felt like an empty tomb. “Let me get my purse.”

Dad took her Jeep, which left the SUV. By mutual accord, he slid into the driver’s seat while she got in on the passenger side. The rain stopped as they left the house. The cloud cover gave them a break from the insufferable heat. She rested her head against the glass and tried to control her roiling emotions. Lynne was in a better place. That’s all that mattered, right? She sighed heavily. Life wasn’t that simple. What if Dad couldn’t pull out of this? What would he do now that he didn’t have Lynne to take care of? How would he spend the rest of his life if he didn’t have a partner by his side?

She rolled down the window as Jesse sped down the highway. Her hair was gonna be a tangled mess, but she had a backup of everything in her purse and really… nothing mattered anymore. Not her bills, not what her future held, or what people thought. All that mattered was the here and now. Life was so fucking short.

When he turned off the highway, she whipped her head around. “Jesse?”

“I need a moment.”

“But...” Her voice died when she noticed he was sweating profusely and his chest was moving rapidly beneath his shirt. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t breathe.”

He screeched to a stop in a small park, which was deserted this early in the morning. Before he put the car in park, he had his door open. He strode away while he yanked on his tie. He stopped beneath a tree and braced his hand on the trunk as he bent over. She watched him for a moment before she slipped from the car and walked across the wet grass. She pressed against his back and wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

His hand landed over hers and gripped hard. She held on tight as his body shook from the force of his grief. It was hard dealing with her own emotions, but listening to him struggle to contain his pain hurt even more. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, but she looked up when she felt the first fat drops of oncoming rain.

“Jesse, come on. We have to get in the car.”

She slid around to his front and saw that he was wearing the same glazed look Dad had. She slipped an arm around his waist and led him back to the car. She pushed him into the passenger’s seat before she ran around to the driver’s side just as the heavens opened up and it began to pour. He sat back in the seat with his head tilted back and his eyes closed. He had undone the top buttons of his shirt, baring his throat. His tie hung loose around his neck.

When she reached for the keys, he grabbed her wrist. “Not yet.”

“But…”

“Give me a minute.”

She glanced at the clock and saw they had over an hour to kill. Rain tapped the windshield in an odd pattern. She was thankful for the rain guards so she could crack the window for air. She glanced at Jesse. A muscle flexed in his jaw as he fought to control his emotions. Even as she watched him, a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye.

Her heart clenched. “Jesse.”

“I knew when I came home that it would end like this,” he said hoarsely. “I knew what to expect, but it doesn’t get easier.”

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