Page 65 of Corrupt Idol

She kissed Lynne’s cheek before she slipped from the bed and went into the connecting room. Jesse sat up in bed, hands behind his head as he watched some war documentary. She stared at her bed for a moment before she walked to the sliding door and opened it.

“What are you doing?” Jesse asked.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“I’ll come with you.”

She glanced back at him. “I don’t need an escort.”

He was already on his feet and turning off the TV. “Let’s go.”

It was close to one in the morning as they walked around the pool, empty bar, and restaurant. It was quiet aside from the sound of the ocean in the distance. Once they reached the beach, she slipped off her slippers and held them in one hand as she walked to a pair of abandoned loungers, just past the circle of light cast by the resort. There was a sliver of the moon that offered just enough light to see the waves crashing on shore. She dropped her slippers in the sand and walked along the beach. Jesse fell into step beside her. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes as a warm breeze caressed her chilled cheeks.

Lynne was dying. As pain cascaded through her, she stopped in her tracks.

“Violet?”

She shook her head as tears slid down her cheeks. She wanted to scream and rage, but knew it would do no good. Lynne was suffering and there was nothing she could do. Lynne was the heart of their family. Once she was gone, it would never be the same. Lynne filled a void left by her biological mother that she hadn’t known existed until Lynne showed her what true love was. Lynne would take a piece of her when she left. She wasn’t sure she would survive this.

Life seeped out of her every day. Lynne wasn’t eating and had more sick moments than good ones. This morning she caught a glimpse of the number of pills she was taking and they weren’t helping. There was nothing she could to buy her mother time. All she could do was watch and shower her with as much love as possible. Grief nearly sent her to her knees.

“Hey.”

Jesse gripped her arm to steady her.

She wrenched away and bellowed, “This isn’t fair!”

She couldn’t read his face in the dim light, but he said, “I know.”

“I can’t stand this,” she said raggedly as tears slipped down her cheeks. “I feel like…” Like she wanted to howl at the moon and scream at the sky. Maybe God would hear her pleas and spare her mother.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jesse said in a flat tone that told her he didn’t believe the empty platitude any more than she did.

“It’s not,” she said in an anguished whisper.

He was silent for a moment before he agreed, “No, it’s not.”

She covered her mouth to cover the sob welling in her throat. “I… I can’t… I don’t know what…” She tugged at her hair as she turned in a circle, looking for help she knew she wouldn’t find.

“Violet.”

Something in her snapped. She marched toward the water until Jesse blocked her way.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

“What does it look like?” she spat as she pulled her sundress over her head and dropped it on the sand. “Get out of my way.”

“If you want to swim, we can go to the pool.”

“No.” She wanted the taste of salt on her tongue and to fight the pull of the tides. In a world where she had no control, she wanted a moment to feel free and unrestrained.

“Who knows what’s in the water at night, Vi. This isn’t—”

“No one asked you to come with me,” she retorted as she unclipped her bra and shimmied out of her panties. A familiar recklessness was taking hold, her knee-jerk reaction to stress.

“Violet.”

His voice was no longer emotionless, but she was too focused on her goal to focus.

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