Page 54 of Corrupt Idol

“Say it!”

“I… I did love you, but—”

He gave her a sharp shake. “No buts. You love me. I know you do.”

She shoved at him, but he didn’t budge. “Jesse, I’m not doing this with you.”

“Give me something,” he said harshly.

She stared at him through a haze of wet. “I already have.”

“I need more.”

“I don’t have anything else to give you.”

She jerked out of his hold and marched back to the truck. Her chest was so tight, she couldn’t take a full breath. She wasn’t sure if he was going to follow, but she had to get away. She would hitchhike if she had to. His words made her feel as if she had razor thin cuts all over her body. She couldn’t take another verbal blow. She was barely holding herself together.

She swiped at her eyes as she stomped through the grass and climbed back into her seat. She glanced at the GPS. Two more hours. They were so fucking close to home. She had just belted herself in when his door opened. She kept her face turned toward the window, but felt his searing gaze moving over her. She held her breath as silence filled the cab. Her hand went to the door handle, but she relaxed when he fired up the engine. When he pulled back onto the highway, she slumped in her seat and closed her eyes.

She wasn’t sure what he hoped to accomplish from this confrontation, but they were still at an impasse. They hadn’t reached any agreements or compromises. Neither of them would budge. She didn’t know what to think of his declarations. Maybe he thought he loved her, but she refused to believe him. Going down that road would only lead to more pain and heartache. She wanted a clean, happy life away from him and his lies and sexual barrages.

“I told myself this time around, I’d try to give you the words, even if you didn’t accept them,” he said.

She wanted to clamp her hands on her ears and sing at the top of her lungs, but that wouldn’t stop him. Nothing would.

“I’m sorry, Violet.”

Her eyes slid shut on a fresh flood of tears. She received the apology she had always longed for, but it was an empty one since he wasn’t going to stop. Where did that leave them?

“I’m sorry that I loved you too much.”

* * *

The moment Jessepulled up to the house, she hopped out and raced up the driveway. The last two hours of the drive felt like an eternity. She had to sit there in a silent, emotional hell. She felt as if he stabbed a hornet’s nest inside of her. Thousands of angry insects ricocheted inside of her, demanding to be set free. She needed a distraction, people, anything that would drown out the words she refused to ponder.

She burst through the front door and saw Dad coming toward her. She gave him a quick hug. “Hey.”

He patted her on the head. “You made it.”

“Yes.” She looked up. “Where’s Mom?”

“Out back.”

She gave him another squeeze before she headed toward the back door while he went out front to help Jesse. She found Mom sitting on the porch swing. Despite the warm day, she was dressed in a jacket and long pants. Lynne started when the door banged shut.

“Oh, sorry, Mom,” she said as she walked toward her and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“You’re here! Everything okay?”

“Yes,” she said as she dropped onto the seat beside her. “How are you feeling?”

Lynne gave her a wan smile. “Tired, but happy. Where’s Jesse?”

“He’s taking care of the truck. Dad’s with him.”

She felt raw, confused, and in desperate need of a safe place. She rested her cheek on Lynne’s bony shoulder. The comforting smell of lavender and vanilla soothed her as nothing else could. She shut her eyes and soaked her in.

“You and Jesse patched things up?” Lynne asked.

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