Chapter 1
Anastasia
Spokehaven University.
My one shot at doing something right in my life.
College is my last opportunity to reshape everything, to make something of myself.
To be better than the person I was just a few months ago.
For most people, Spokehaven is nothing more than an overpriced ticket away from home, a golden pass to escape the watchful eyes of parents with deep pockets, a path straight into endless parties and cheap thrills.
But there was once a time when college was a ticket for me too.
A chance at a full-ride scholarship in nursing, the dream of becoming someone I could be proud of, alongside Cole, my high school sweetheart. He had his athletic scholarship, and I had my academic one. Together, we were supposed to make our parents proud, to live the perfect college life.
The reality of how it all fell apart still haunts me. Finding an excuse to explain why Cole and I split up was torturous. My parents loved him, probably more than they cared to admit.
And for a while, I thought I loved him too.
If it weren’t for the shit he had on me and my dad’s cancer diagnosis, I would’ve gladly told them how on the night of prom Cole dumped a gallon of cum in my best friend, completely shattering any vision I had for that evening.
That night was never supposed to go the way it did.
But now Cole and Erica strut around this campus like royalty. You wouldn’t even guess I once confided in both of them, shared my deepest secrets. The way they look through me now, it’s like I don’t even exist to them.
"You're glaring," Elijah remarks, his voice light but knowing.
I tug my hoodie down, shifting to get a better look at him. It’s obvious he put more effort into getting dressed this morning than I did.
He’s rocking bright baby blue overalls and a Nirvana tee, though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t actually listen to them. His chest is covered in an array of pins, each one a little louder than the last. His wild, red curls are tamed under a bright blue beanie, and the whole look screams his carefree, eclectic style.
"It’s like fifty degrees out," I scoff, taking my time to really study his outfit.
He grins, not missing a beat. "I forgot that gives everyone the perfect excuse to dress like they raided Goodwill’s dumpster," he mocks, giving me a playful nudge.
"I have clothes on under the hoodie," I snap, the annoyance creeping in.
Elijah doesn’t seem to notice as he casually plops down next to me on the bench, closing the gap between us until there’s barely any room left.
"Do you know why I started talking to you, Ana?" he asks, his voice softer now, though he deliberately avoids using my full name.
God, I absolutely hate it when people call me Anastasia.
It feels like a name reserved for someone who’s got their shit together, someone who isn’t a complete screw-up.
I tug at my hair, irritated, and swat Elijah’s hand away.
"Gingers gotta stick together," he jokes, and finally, a smile cracks through.
Despite the drama and his over-the-top fashion choices, Elijah is one of the few people I can call a real friend, someone who never judges me, even when he probably should. I remember on my first day here, Elijah picked me out in the back of the classroom and launched into a lecture about who the hottest guys were in our classes. I played along, mostly because my mind was still tangled up in thoughts of Cole. But over the past few days, something shifted. I found myself seeking out Elijah more and more, eventually inviting him back to my dorm to meet Megan.
Other than Elijah, she’s really the only person I can tolerate here. Megan has dark olive skin, short black hair, and a quiet confidence. She moved here from Taiwan when she was three, meeting her stepdad soon after.
Calling her a genius feels like an understatement.
Sometimes, when I catch her glancing over my homework, I wonder if she questions why I’m even in college.