Page 88 of Decoding Morse

Her eyes narrowed, but there was a twinkle in them that hadn’t been there before.

I threw my hands up in surrender. “Kidding. I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m a man who learns from my mistakes.” My gaze flickered to Amelia, but she looked away.

The three of us considered the layout of the room, deciding there wasn’t enough space to set the chessboard up where Carol could get to it. That was probably for the better since she was sound asleep by the time we gave up.

“She’s really something,” I said.

“Yeah, she is. And she doesn’t pretend to be any other way. It’s… pretty badass.” Amelia’s fond smile for her friend took my breath away. She grabbed my hand and led me out into the living room. We sat on the love seat near the study, where we could still hear the machines keeping Carol alive.

“She’s basically the opposite of my parents, who show the world this perfect image, but inside, they’re… well, they’re miserable. I hate who I am when I’m around them. I thought it would be easier this time—that I would be stronger and better prepared to stand up to them—but they’ve always known how to control me.”

“But you are strong. You dropped out of college and left. What triggered that?”

Amelia’s side eye made it clear she hadn’t disclosed that information, but she didn’t call me out on it. “I caught my dad with another woman. I told Mom about it, thinking she would use the information to finally leave him and find some semblance of happiness, but it didn’t go as planned. Instead of leaving him, she sat me down and explained the benefits of marriage partnerships. Then she began plotting my own unhappily ever after.”

My eyebrows must have shot up my forehead because Amelia laughed at my expression.

“So… yeah. I dropped out of college and bounced. I’ve mostly avoided them ever since. But then Ted died, and they offeredto pay for Theo’s school. I know it’s stupid, but there were no strings attached to his tuition, and I thought maybe they were trying to be better. But once he enrolled, they started up these games with me.” She frowned. “And apparently with Theo, too.”

“What do you plan to do about it?” I asked.

She shrugged and looked away. “I’m not moving to Idaho; that’s for damn sure. I can’t be around them, but some twisted part of me still wants their approval. They’ll never give it to me, no matter how hard I try. The bar is always rising or moving completely. I won’t go back to that. Instead, I’ll cut back my hours with the charity and find a job to pay for Morgan’s school. I’ll figure it out. I always do.”

Carol’s envelope was burning a hole in my pocket, but I was sworn to secrecy for now. “Don’t do anything rash. I have a feeling everything will work out if you give it a little time.”

Her head whipped back around, and she narrowed her eyes at me. “Is this advice from Morse or Joe?”

“Joe was for the kids. They fucking needed that. So did you.”

Her expression softened. “You’d make an excellent dad, Morse.” Emotion flashed in her eyes before she dropped her gaze to her hands folded in her lap. “I don’t want any more kids.”

“I figured since you said your tubes are tied.”

“That doesn’t bug you?”

I shrugged. “Nope.”

When she finally met my gaze again, suspicion clouded her eyes. “Really? That doesn’t bother you?”

“Should it?”

She snorted. “You don’t want kids of your own?”

“You’ve never met my dad or my brother, and I hope you never do. I don’t know if science has ever figured out the whole nature versus nurture debacle, but I’d rather err on the side of caution and not pass those genes down. I had a vasectomy assoon as I realized it was an option. Being a dad was never in the cards for me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So, if that was the excuse you were planning to use to cut me loose, you’re shit out of luck because I’m not going anywhere.”

She studied me, but she still didn’t look convinced.

“There’s something you should know.” I shifted and took a deep breath. “After I was discharged, I came to see you and Ted. I took a rideshare directly from the airport, but when we reached the house, you were outside, carrying in groceries.”

Her brow furrowed. “When? I?—”

“I never got out of the car. I couldn’t. When I saw you, it was different than before. I’d always thought you were pretty, but that day… you were all rainbows and fuckin’ sunshine, and I couldn’t look away. You were married to a man I owed my life to, but I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted anything. That’s when I knew I was no better than my father. No better than the priest, my commanding officer, or any other man who took what didn’t belong to him.”

She reached out and squeezed my hand. “But you are different. You drove away.”

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