Page 75 of Decoding Morse

Her jaw dropped. It closed and opened a handful of times before she finally formed her response. “You installed cameras on my house four years ago?”

“Only on the outside.”

“Only on the—” She scoffed, and her hands flew to her head. Better than wrapping them around my neck, which she had every right to do. “Oh, that’s okay then. Right? No violation of privacy there. You’ve only been… what? Watching me garden? Do you hear how creepy that sounds?”

“Yes. And watching you garden wasn’t my intention. I put the cameras up because you were… alone. And vulnerable. I needed to know that you were okay. I owed that to you for all you’d done for me.”

“Then why not pick up the phone and freaking call me? You should have spoken with me before installing cameras on my house.”

I could only give one answer, and she wouldn’t like it. “I couldn’t.”

She refolded her arms. “You… couldn’t?”

“No.”

“Was that why you avoided me at his funeral?”

I winced at her tone, but it was the pain in her voice that was going to do me in.

“You didn’t even stick around to say hi. Just gave your phone number to Morgan.”

I’d also given it to Theo, but now doesn’t seem like an appropriate time to mention that.

“Why?”

She didn’t have to elaborate.

“You think I wanted to stay away?” My voice sounded too raw, too needy. “Let me assure you, I didn’t. To be honest, it was fucking torture. Do you know how many times I planned out what I’d say to you when the time finally came? I’d convince you to join me for coffee. Then maybe we’d grab dinner and catch a movie. All the stars would align, and I’d convince you to come back to the fire station. We’d go up to my room and live out the millions of fantasies I’d conjured up starring you.”

She sucked in a breath and looked away.

I hooked a finger under her chin and pulled her attention back to me. “I couldn’t come see you, Angel, because one of the greatest men I’d ever known had just fucking died, and I couldn’tstop fucking his wife in my head. So, yeah, I stayed the fuck away. Ted deserved that much.”

“You were… fantasizing. About me?”

My jaw ticked, and I let my gaze gobble up her body. “Why’s that’s so damn hard for you to believe?”

She blinked. Then she shook out her arms and straightened her spine. “Okay. You’ve had cameras up on the outside of my house for four years. Is there anything else I should know?”

Fuck.

I swallowed. Hadn’t she had enough? It would have been better to save my other revelation for later, but I wouldn’t lie to Amelia. I’d already sinned enough against her without adding that in. Blowing out a breath, I let the last of my confession fly. “Ted’s brother is a selfish dick. He’s never sent shit to your kids.”

She stumbled back as if she’d been struck. “You’re Joe?”

“Yes.”

“Of course you are.” She opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head, her expression too mixed with emotion to interpret. “You know what? I can’t deal with this right now. I need a minute.”

Understandable. In her shoes, I’d need a minute, too. In fact, I don’t know if I’d ever speak to me again. My intentions didn’t matter when I’d fucked up and broken her trust.

When she moved, I panicked and grabbed her arm. “Wait.”

Her gaze shot to my hand like I’d branded her, so I released my grip. “It’s not safe.”

“Yeah? Well, I have to pee. I’m going to the bathroom. Without you.” She glanced beyond me to where Rabbit was still watching us as if we were his personal reality show. “Will you please come with?”

Ignoring my murderous glare, Rabbit nodded enthusiastically, springing to his feet. “It’d be my pleasure, ma’am.”

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