Page 24 of Decoding Morse

“So, don’t talk. There are much better uses for a mouth, and you two looked seconds from discovering what those might be in the hallway.”

“Were not.”

Okay, maybe we were.

Then why did he flee?

I didn’t ask the question because it was pointless. She wouldn’t have the answer any more than I did. Instead, I took another drink and let out a breath.

“Do you know what I was planning to do before he showed up at the house?”

Thia studied my face. Whatever she saw there filled her eyes with concern. “Um… Okay. Fine. I’ll bite. What?”

“A beauty treatment that should be considered self-harm.”

“I know you’re shit at taking care of yourself, but if self-care hurts, you’re probably doing it wrong.”

I laughed.

And laughed because she was full of shit. Most of the crap women did for beauty came with pain. I tried to tell her as much, but I’d underestimated the effects of downing half a bottle of wine in a matter of minutes, and it was impossible to talk while I was laughing.

Thia didn’t see the hilarity of the situation. She stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “Should I call someone else? An adultier adult?”

My laughter grew slightly deranged. Then a sob broke free, surprising us both. Thia’s eyes grew comically large as every emotion I’d suppressed since Morse showed up at my door hit me at once. This was insane. I was in hiding, my life in danger, and I was pining after a younger man. And my best friend was seconds from slapping a straitjacket on me.

She stood, taking the wine bottle to the sink and filling it with water. Then she offered it to me. Gratefully chugging half thebottle, I pulled myself together and mopped tears from my face with my sleeve.

“Where was I? Oh yeah, the beauty treatment. It's those little jars of collagen with a bunch of tiny needles you stab into your face. You can’t tell me that’s not self-harm.”

Her brow scrunched up. “You mean microneedling?”

“Yes!”

Thank God this woman got me because the struggle for words was real.

“So, you were going to microneedle…?” Thia asked, likely looking for the connection to literally anything else we’d talked about.

I was getting there, but it would take me a minute because... wine.

“It’s social media’s fault. I swear, whisper something once, and every corporation on earth bombards you with ads for the rest of your life. Anyway, I know I should feel honored to grow old because some people don’t get that privilege.” Hell,Imight not get that privilege at this rate.

The concern on Thia’s face should have put a stop to my rambling, but I stumbled past the point of no return and kept right on going.

“These eye bags are getting real, and I’m desperate. So, yeah, I fed into consumerism and sacrificed a portion of my limited income to the gods of capitalism for the opportunity to punch that bitch, Mother Nature, right in her left tit.”

Thia cleared her throat and looked at me sideways. “Not sure if that was supposed to be a product endorsement, a confession, or a TED Talk, but you do you, boo. If fighting back the years makes you happy, then strap on those gloves and climb into that ring. But don’t believe for a moment that I’ll let you change the subject. I saw the way Morse was looking at you. Why don’t you think he’s interested?”

“Because no matter how many tiny needles I stab into my face, I’m still forty-three. He’s thirty-five, Thia.”

“So? You’re both consenting adults. You deserve to be happy, my friend, and there are literally fireworks exploding between you two. Do you have any idea how rare that level of attraction is? You’d be an idiot not to explore it.”

“You’re misusing the word literally.”

“Don’t harsh my dramatics.” She released me and tugged on a lock of her hair, angling it toward me. “My ends get singed just from being in your proximity. Shoot, do you know what I’d give for a woman to look at me like that?”

“Heliterallyran away.”

She shrugged. “So, he has demons. Don’t we all? I’m just saying, if he comes around, I want you to promise me you’ll put yourself first and do whatever makes you happy. For once.”

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