Page 43 of Redeeming Rabbit

“Like hell I was.” He stood.

Stood!

His… somehow still erect penis was front and center, out there for all to see. Tina would have gotten an eyeful of Rabbit if her gaze had not been averted. Simultaneously, I wanted to throw the sheets over her head and shove him back down. Neither option was plausible, so I sat frozen.

“I won that bet, and I’m not goin’ anywhere until you pay up. Although, of course, I might be willin’ to go double or nuthin’.”

Tina fled.

I stared at the door, wondering what to do. Rabbit was visible in my peripheral, but I couldn’t face him. Had he just given me the best orgasm of my life? Without a doubt. Was he insane for declaring his feelings after an impossibly short time? Absolutely. Had I reacted in the worst possible way? Also yes.

Too many emotions clouded the relevant facts, and since I couldn’t see any way to salvage the situation, I forced myself to meet his gaze.

And instantly regretted it.

His eyes were a raging storm of hurt and anger. If I had been standing, the sight would have brought me to my knees. As it was, it knocked the wind out of me, making it impossible to talk.

Insta-lust, I could understand, but insta-love was a fabrication. It had to be. Logic dictated that whatever feelings he possessed for me were primarily built on attraction and, therefore, unsustainable. What if we weren’t compatible? We’d blaze hot and burn out. That way would only lead to tears, and I had a feeling neither of us could handle getting hurt.

“Right.” Rabbit agreed. He dropped his gaze and moved, collecting his clothes. “I’ll go so you’re not tempted to do something… stupid.”

I didn’t stop him. I couldn’t. The man had just given me the best orgasm of my life, and I didn’t want him to go. It’d be crazy to let him go. But I’d have to be certifiable to ask him to stay.

He sat on the bed and pulled on his pants, both legs at once.

Tension thickened the air, threatening to suffocate me with regret. I liked Rabbit and didn’t want to hurt him, so I tried to help him see reason. “You don’t love me. You can’t. It’s too soon.”

He fastened his jeans and tugged on his shirt. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t feel.”

I winced at the anguish and frustration in his tone. “Sorry.”

“Me too.” He sighed. “Bye, Elenore. It was nice knowing you.”

My eyes stung, and my throat squeezed closed, preventing me from replying.

Rabbit turned and walked out of my life.

16

Rabbit

“Who else has a story they want to share?” Havoc asked from his position at the front of the class.

A few years ago, the club started an anti-bullying campaign at Helping Hands, a low-income preschool a few blocks from the fire station. Once a week, five Dead Presidents volunteered for an hour with the kids. So many of my brothers wanted to be involved that we had to rotate volunteers. I got to spend one day a month with the kids, which were usually my favorite days. I’d always enjoyed hanging out with kids. The little bastards tell it like it is and can be funny as shit.

Right now, I should be sitting here trying not to laugh my ass off after Boxcar Billy’s story about how his big sister baked Ex-Lax into a batch of cookies to deal with a bully who kept stealing his lunch on the bus. But we weren’t supposed to condone retaliation of any sort, and the pride in Havoc’s eyes said more than any words ever could. Like the rest of us, the big man had grown attached to the kids and was proud of their resilience and quick thinking. Besides, what these kids needed had nothing to do with the board-approved anti-bullying curriculum we taught every week. They needed us here. Someone showing up for them week after week. We came, we listened, and we really fucking cared.

Would I have turned out better had any man—had anyone—in my life done that for me?

Today marked three weeks since I’d walked out of Elenore’s life, and I couldn’t stop reflecting on all the shit I could have done differently while we were together. The problem was, there wasn’t a single thing I’d change. Even the part where she reached into my chest and ripped my goddamn heart out. Despite all odds, I’d gotten to know her. She’d slept in my fucking bed. Unfortunately, it no longer smelled like her since I had to break down and change the sheets. You get used to sleeping on clean sheets, and it’s hard to go back. I missed her scent, though, and I’d been trying to find a way to get Kaos to get me something that smelled like her. Maybe if I blackmailed him….

Sage elbowed me. “You okay?”

I glared at him, still pissed he was here. We never volunteered on the same day, and I had a sneaking suspicion Flint’s “dentist appointment” had been a figment of Wasp’s imagination. That fucker was meddlesome, and it was beginning to piss me off.

“Just peachy.”

I really wanted to flip the bastard off, but I refused to get kicked out of the preschool program because of the asshole. So, I faced forward and listened, realizing Missy Mae was talking. We’d given all the kids road names, and they were hella proud of them.

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