Page 32 of Redeeming Rabbit

“Because I know what I want my role here to be. I’m not looking for a husband, and they damn well better know better than to look for me. But I get lonely. And some of these guys are excellent snugglers. I’m the one defining the relationship right from the beginning. Letting them know I like to get down but will never be anything more to them than just a fuck. These guys have been through a lot. The last thing they need is someone dangling forever in front of them if they’re just here to scratch an itch. Whore is easier to say than itch scratcher.”

Holy shit, was everyone in this club fascinating? Shari was so confident and comfortable in her own skin, positively at peace with who she was. I leaned closer to keep our conversation private. “I’ve read that women with no intention to breed are often treated differently in society. Do you find that to be the case?”

Her turn to blink.

Fair, since the question had likely been too personal. Small talk never had been my strength. I tended to skip introductory questions and get straight to the dreams and nightmares of a soul. What made a person tick? What trauma had they experienced? How were they overcoming their life challenges? “I mean, are you uninterested in finding a partner completely? Or is that just for now?” I asked, but judging by the fall of her expression, that question was no less intrusive.

“Some people are irreplaceable.” Sorrow flooded her eyes, and she looked away. “You just meet them and know your life will never be the same. Then they’re gone. And the best thing you can do is plug the hole they left behind because nobody can ever replace them.” She turned to face me and fixed the smile back onto her face. “But enough about me. I want to know all about you.”

I stared at her, wondering what to say. Seriously, how did one respond tothat? I liked the meat and potatoes of a conversation but was beginning to see the necessity of at least a palate cleanser first. She’d just poured out her heart to me about a lost love. Was that the level of information we were giving complete strangers now? Because I wasn’t comfortable with it in the least. Sure, I’d not-so-subtly asked how people received her life choice, but that was data collection. This was personal.

And oddly enough, the reminder of human mortality only made me more determined to get Rabbit in my bed. No wonder one in eight men under age thirty-five bring condoms to funerals.

“Let’s start with your preferred beverage. What can I get you to drink? We have two local beers on tap: a Belgian ale and a stout. Or I can mix you up a cocktail if you’d like.”

Stronger. As I’d learned from the handful of college parties my roommates had dragged me to, alcohol was, in fact, liquid courage laced with regret. I wanted Rabbit. Even more so after Shari’s tale of lost love. Life was cruel, and good people didn’t always get what they deserved. It was up to me to enjoy the life I lived. I just hoped I didn’t regret it in the morning.

Why was I stressing about this? We’d agreed to leave tomorrow to its own problems, so tonight, I needed to borrow courage from the captain. “Rum and Coke?”

My trainer would have me doing burpees if she knew what I was up to, but I had only ever climaxed through clitoral stimulation, and Rabbit seemed like a man who knew where the G-spot was and precisely how to hit it. And I’d ask him to do so as soon as I was buzzed enough to blame the alcohol for my stupidity if he said no.

Shari dropped off my drink, and I took a sip. Mmm. Chemicals, caffeine, and alcohol. Why did all the harmful ingredients have to be so delicious? I’d have to ponder that problem some other time because something Shari had said kept tugging at my attention.

“Has Rabbit forced women to come to the club before?”

She shook her head. “No. He’s never brought anyone here.”

Interesting. “But you were concerned…”

“No, we’re careful. A lot of the vets are fighting demons. Sometimes, they manifest in unexpected ways. We keep our eyes and ears open around here so we can help wherever we’re needed.”

Her attempt at brushing off my question only heightened my curiosity. “And Rabbit has demons?”

Her expression hardened. “What about me makes you think I would tell you anything about Rabbit?”

The woman had just overshared her own personal love story. “Oh, now we’re being discreet?”

She tossed a washcloth into the sink. “My business is mine to share. But Rabbit’s isn’t. If you want to know about him, he’s the man you should ask. Better yet, keep your eyes and ears open. If you care enough, you’ll stick around to figure it out for yourself. If you don’t, you don’t deserve to know.”

“You…youcare about him, don’t you?

“Like he’s blood.” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “But no relation. That would be gross, considering how many times his head has been between my legs.”

Rage surged inside me like a tidal wave, drowning all rational thought with the urge to grab Shari by the hair and slam her face into the bar. Maybe she wouldn’t be so intimidatingly gorgeous if she were missing her two front teeth. Better yet, I could smash this glass against the bar and take a shard to those annoyingly high cheekbones.

She studied my face like she could see her wipeout coming. “What’s wrong?”

I held up a finger. “Give me a moment. I’m not finished planning your dismemberment.” Shocked, I slapped my hand across my mouth. The words had just spilled out.

What the fuck had come over me? It was one thing to fantasize about brutalizing my foes, but since when was casually threatening strangers my thing? Rabbit had abandoned me at the bar in a biker club, and I’d just threatened one of his… uh… previous sexual partners? How would she react? Was I about to get jumped by all her other lovers? Should I pretend to use the restroom and escape?

With both hands, I strangled my drink, attempting to get myself under control. “I… I shouldn’t have said that.”

I wouldn’t apologize since I still wanted to slash up her face. But now that the wave was receding, a little voice in the back of my head informed me I had no right to be angry about Rabbit’s hook ups. Regardless, unfamiliar emotions continued to roil within me.

“Then why did you?” she asked.

It was an honest question, so I gave her an honest answer. “Jealousy is new to me.”

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