Page 52 of Centering Kaos

“Force her?” I repeated, hating the very way the words tasted. “I would never force her to do shit.” There had to be another option. An idea came to me, and I hurried to my closet to grab a bag. I’d pack a few days’ worth of clothes and sleep in my Escalade in her parking garage. After this morning, she might not want my protection, but she was sure as shit going to get it.

“Last night wasn’t a mistake, was it?” Emily asked. Before I could figure out how to answer that, she added, “At least, not for you. You love her, don’t you? You love both of them.”

I’d only known them for a week, so even thinking about love was asinine, but I didn’t hesitate. No use lying. “I do. I know it doesn’t make any damn sense, but they’re…” Everything. The entirety of my whole fucking world had somehow been reduced to two people, and the idea of watching them walk out of my life was tearing me apart. “I can’t lose them, Emily.”

“I’m sure this move is only temporary,” she assured me. “Give Tina some time and space. She’s a smart, responsible woman. I’ll call and check on her later to see if I can’t angle her toward a more reasonable path. Regardless of how she feels about you, I’m confident she’ll do what’s right to protect Dylan.”

That wasn’t the motivation I was looking for. Sure, she and Dylan would always be safe with me, but I wanted her to stay for more. To stay because she couldn’t stomach the idea of being away. Like all good Greek spawns, I’d taken philosophy in college, and a Socrates quote kept tugging at the back of my mind. ‘Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.’ Matt had kicked down her walls and taken her prisoner. She’d escaped and built a fortress around herself.

If I was going to win her over, it’d take a hell of a lot more than a battering ram.

I needed to prove myself as an ally and convince her to carve me out a door.

Promising Emily I wouldn’t do anything stupid, I disconnected the call, threw on a T-shirt, stuffed a few days’ worth of clothes into my bag, and headed downstairs. Tina’s bedroom door was open and she was inside, frantically stuffing clothes into a suitcase. The sight made me want to freak the fuck out and dump her bags so she couldn’t leave me.

But that wasn’t what she needed.

So instead, I set my pride aside and slipped into the room. “Hey, need some help?” I asked.

She startled and then stepped back like she expected me to attack. I held perfectly still and waited. When my words finally registered, her brow furrowed. “You… you want to help me?”

“I’m not gonna lie, Tina. I like having you and Dylan here. This past week has been great. Probably the best week of my life.” I shook my head, chuckling. “I know that sounds like some bullshit line, but it’s true. Hangin’ out with you and Dylan, helpin’ him with his homework, buildin’ fuckin’ blanket forts, sitting down to dinner like a family… that’s all shit I never even knew I wanted for myself, but I’m sure gonna miss the hell out of it.”

Her eyes softened marginally, but she stayed the course. Still watching me, she opened another dresser drawer and started transferring the contents into her suitcase. “You’re a good guy, Darius. Any woman would be lucky to have that with you.”

Any woman but the one I wanted, apparently. “Then why are you leaving?” I asked.

She blew out a breath. “Because I’m messed up, but I’m not… I don’t wanna be a whore.”

Huh? That was out of left field. “Did I do something to make you feel like one?” I asked.

She closed the drawer and deflated. Taking a seat on the bed, she faced me. “I’m not even divorced yet. I’ve only known you for a week, and I… We… That’s not the kind of woman I want to be.”

There was more to the story. There had to be. “Something happened to you, didn’t it?”

She snorted and looked away. “Stuff happens to everyone.”

I approached her slowly, sliding to my knees on the floor at her feet, making it clear through my body language that she held all the power. “Tell me. Please.”

The remaining fire went out of her eyes and her brow furrowed. Minutes ticked by, but I didn’t move. Didn’t ask for more. She fidgeted and opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Finally, she seemed to come to a decision and nodded. “Okay. Remember how I told you our dad wasn’t around?”

Afraid to speak and make her withdraw again, I nodded.

“Mom… Mom was a struggle. At the time, we were living in Pomeroy. Are you familiar with the area?”

I shook my head.

“It’s a small town of about fifteen hundred people. Approximately thirty miles west of the Idaho border.”

“By Spokane?” I asked, trying to picture it in my head.

She wrinkled her nose. “About a hundred miles south of Spokane. In the middle of nowhere. Anyway, Mom had a lot of boyfriends.” Her eyes glistened, and she looked away, blinking. “Boyfriends probably isn’t the right word. She slept around. A lot. Everyone in the town knew it. People would always point at us and whisper. School was… bad. It’s hard to make friends when your mom has slept with everyone’s dad. When she died… people said she deserved it. They called her accident karma.”

And Tina had been a teenager at the time. A teenager without a dad who’d just lost her mom. “Some people just suck ass.”

She shrugged. “They were hurt. She hurt them. My mom wrecked homes and destroyed marriages. It was like she was on a mission to prove relationships were just a big farce.” She blew out a breath. “I hated her for what she did to families. For what she did to me and Elenore.”

“Under the circumstances, I’d say your hate was understandable, angel.”

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