Page 51 of Centering Kaos

When they’d moved in, there’d been no discussion about an exit plan. Nobody knew how long they’d need to stay with me, but I’d assumed it’d be a few months. At least until the divorce was final. They’d only been under my roof for a week, barely enough time to get to know them, and now Tina looked like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

I couldn’t let them leave now.

Not like this.

Was she really that ashamed of what we did last night? Why? We were consenting adults finally scratching a relentless itch…

And who the fuck was I trying to kid? What we shared was a hell of a lot more than an itch. Being with her once hadn’t scratched anything.

Then again, maybe it had. I’d had chicken pox as a child, and I remember it itching like the goddamn devil. Scratching didn’t bring relief. It only broke open the sores and made me bleed. A fitting analogy since I stood there staring at the spot where Tina had just stood, feeling like she’d opened one of my veins and left me for dead.

She hadn’t even looked me in the eyes.

Last night was the best goddamn night of my life, and I refused to let her label it a mistake.

Unfortunately, there was a hell of a lot more caught up in this mess than me and Tina. Dylan was a huge consideration, but I knew that kid was firmly on Team Kaos. I just had to figure out how to win his mom over. First, I needed to report the situation, though. Grabbing my cell phone, I called Emily, hoping like hell she was awake.

She answered on the third ring. “Mornin’ Kaos. You’re up early.” She sounded way too chipper for the kind of day I was having

“Mornin’. Hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I was already up. What’s going on? Is everything okay?” she asked.

“No. I… um… I fucked up, and I don’t know what to do now.”

“Just a second.” In the background, I heard her muffled voice, followed by the sound of a door. “All right. You have my undivided attention. Tell me everything.”

Confessing I’d gotten drunk and slept with the woman I was supposed to be protecting wasn’t exactly on my bucket list. It made me feel like a fucking rookie taking my first tumble with a puck bunny who turned out to be the team owner’s daughter. My ass would be on the chopping block, and I’d look like one hell of a motherfucking cliché. But this was no random tumble, and I needed Emily to understand that, so I laid it all out for her, glossing over the sordid details.

“It was consensual?” Emily asked.

I about dropped my goddamn phone. Apparently, some of those details were necessary after all. “Of course, it was consensual. What the fuck do you think I am?”

“Calm down, Kaos, it’s nothing personal. I had to be sure.”

Which made sense but was still pretty damn offensive. “We were drinking, but neither of us were past the point of consent. We both wanted it,” I assured her, but there was no way in hell I’d disclose that Tina had demanded I fuck her. Some details were sacred. “What I need to know is how the fuck do we get her to stay?”

Emily blew out a breath, sounding a little too resigned for my liking. “We don’t.”

“But that asshole’s still out there gunnin’ for her. She and Dylan are safer with me.”

“Is that the only reason you want them there?” Emily asked, her voice full of challenge.

“No.” I probably should have said more, but what I felt for Tina and Dylan had nothing to do with Emily, Ladies First, or the club. This was personal, and I wanted to keep the details close to my chest.

“I see,” Emily said. “That’s quite the predicament. Regardless, I’m glad you called to let me know she’ll be going back to Elenore’s.”

“What?” Hadn’t the woman been listening to a damn word I said? “She can’t go back. Matt’s still out there.”

“Tina can go wherever she wants. She’s not a prisoner, and you’re not providing government-mandated protective custody. Our services are one-hundred percent voluntary, and if she wants to go back to Elenore’s, that’s her right. Hell, if she decided to go back to Matt, there wouldn’t be a damn thing we could do about it. We offer a service, Kaos, not a prison cell. She’s lived in one of those long enough.”

Goddamn, that hit hard. “Yes, she has, but this is different. This is for her own safety. Can’t they stay somewhere else? With you and the prez?”

“We don’t have room at the house, and we’re rarely home. They’d be alone most of the time, which is what we’re trying to avoid. It’d make more sense for them to stay at the fire station, but Tina’s already made it clear how she feels about that.”

“There’s gotta be someone else who can take them in.” This was my fuckup and I refused to put them in danger because of it.

“I know your heart is in the right place, but if you try to force her to stay, she’ll never forgive you.”

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