Page 41 of Centering Kaos

“No way!” Kaos jumped out of his seat and headed for the kitchen before I could so much as blink. Moments later, he returned with plates and silverware. Taking the bag from me, he unloaded the goodies. “You hungry, Dylan?” He asked.

Dylan shook his head. He had his elbows on his knees, head in hands, and was glued to the screen. Sitting beside him, I wanted to drill him about how the hockey lessons went, but I’d never seen him so invested in a show. I didn’t want to disturb him.

“What are you watching?” I asked Kaos, keeping my voice low as I pointed at the screen.

“The Mighty Ducks.”

“The what?” I asked, leaning closer so I was practically behind Dylan.

Kaos looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “You’ve never seenThe Mighty Ducksbefore?” When I shook my head, his face scrunched up in disgust and he finished piling food onto his plate. “I can’t believe this.The Mighty Ducksis a child’s rite of passage. You can’t actually grow up until you watch it. Kinda likeThe Sandlot,The Karate Kid, andThe Goonies. Without these experiences, you run the risk of becoming something awful… like a serial killer or a telemarketer.”

His goofy explanation paired with a stone-cold serious expression made my eyebrows rise. “Sounds like I have some catching up to do. Is there a list of these rites of passage somewhere?”

“I’ll write one up for ya.” He took a bite and washed it down with a swallow of beer. I tried really hard not to notice how kissable his lips were or how masculine his Adam’s Apple looked bobbing up and down. I’d never found the Adam’s Apple particularly attractive before, but everything about Kaos was so hot it short-circuited my brain and made me intensely aware of my body. My mind flickered back to Carisa’s declaration that Kaos was into me.

Could it really be true?

I hated the hope that flooded my chest. By now, I should have learned better. I wished there was a button I could push to turn off my emotions and just coast through life for a while without any pain or expectations.

“Thank you,” I said lamely.

He gave me a crooked smile. Heat flooded my cheeks as well as my core. I sat back, settling a throw pillow against my stomach like it was a shield that could somehow deflect his charm. Still, it was nice, being there with him and Dylan. Comfortable. We’d been spending evenings together all week, and no matter how hard I tried not to, I looked forward to it.

When Kaos finished eating, he grabbed himself another beer and poured me a glass of wine. It kept my warm and fuzzy buzz going as we watched the Ducks battle it out on the screen against the Hawks. The movie was kind of cheesy, but good.

Dylan loved it. As soon as the credits started rolling on the movie, he jumped up like the couch was on fire and launched into the details of his hockey adventure. While he talked, I shooed him upstairs and toward the bathroom. The dark circles around his eyes told me a hard crash was coming, and I didn’t have long to get him bathed and in bed. I started his bath while he undressed. He climbed into the water, and I took in the collection of marks covering his body.

“What happened?” I asked.

“It’s only a couple of bruises,” he said. “You should have seen me. I only fell a couple of times. Kaos says I’m a natural.”

Not what I wanted to hear. If skating without sticks and opponents had given him that many bruises, I didn’t even want to see what he’d look like after an actual hockey practice. Leaning against the door, I tried to keep my expression neutral despite my concern. My life would be much easier if Dylan had hated the entire experience, but that was clearly not the case. He was like an excited little jumping bean, barely able to sit still as he carried on about his plans to become the biggest star the NHL had ever seen.

I just wanted to wrap him in Styrofoam and bubble wrap.

Hockey seemed so dangerous.

And expensive.

I’d done a little research, and I didn’t know what the going rate for souls was these days, but I’d need to sell mine to come up with a down payment for the gear alone. Not to mention ice time and coaching. According to the internet, hockey was the second most expensive sport a kid could play. Not reassuring when my bank account was barely in the black. Kaos had volunteered to coach Dylan for free—which would eliminate some of the cost—but the man was already letting us stay in his house and eat his food. This felt a lot like taking advantage of his kindness and generosity.

I needed to figure out a way to stand on my own two feet.

Worry churned my stomach. The car insurance payment was coming due, and I had no idea how to pay it. Especially since I no longer had a job. I’d called Mr. Denali earlier in the week and quit. Probably not the smartest decision I’d ever made, but Matt’s latest attack had brought on a string of nightmares I couldn’t shake. I wanted to work—needed to work—but I also needed to live. A paycheck wouldn’t do much for me if Matt caught me in the parking garage again and finished what he’d started.

Health insurance was also a problem. Hockey most likely meant broken bones, concussions, and stitches. We currently had coverage through Matt’s work, but he could remove us in a blink, and I wouldn’t even know. At least, not until I showed up in the emergency room with Dylan’s bone poking through his leg only to find out our coverage was denied.

Dylan was staring at me expectantly. Right. While I’d been on the verge of a nervous breakdown, he’d been carrying on about all the fun he’d had.

“I’m glad you enjoyed skating,” I lied. I’d seen a broken bone poking through the skin once. That wasn’t something you forgot. I would freak out if something like that ever happened to my child.

Dylan settled down, his previous joy leaking out of his expression. “You don’t seem glad.”

It had been far too long since I’d seen him so excited, and I felt like the worst mom ever for letting my reality get in the way of his happiness. Silently vowing to do better, I forced a smile. “Sorry, bud. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day. Come on. Let’s get you out of there.” I held up a towel for him to step into.

“I like living with Kaos,” Dylan announced. “I think we should stay here forever.”

Shocked, I stared at him. He hadn’t asked about his dad all week, but I never would have imagined he’d want to stay with Kaos.

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