Page 39 of Centering Kaos

I filled my lungs with air, shuddering.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

I needed to call Emily. I needed to let her know what was going on.

Surely, she’d help me.

Matt couldn’t have possibly gotten to her.

Right?

My phone was peeking out of my purse. I grabbed it, but Carisa waved a hand in front of my face.

“Tina. Snap out of it. What’s going on?” She sounded worried. Of course, she’d be worried; she was nice. It wasn’t her fault Matt had tricked her. She probably thought she was helping me.

“I know you didn’t mean to,” I said. “We can still get out of here before he sees me.”

“I…” Confusion clouded her expression as she looked from me to the house. “Beforewhosees you?”

“Him.” I didn’t even want to say his name out loud. I felt like I was Frodo and had just slid the one ring of power onto my finger. Matt’s ever-seeing eye was turned my direction, and the instant his name left my lips, I’d summon him.

Carisa was staring at me like I was crazy.

I lowered my voice and whispered, “Matt.”

“Matt? Who the hell is Matt?” Her eyes narrowed to slits as the answer seem to come to her. “You mean your… your ex?”

I nodded.

“Tina, why would your ex be at my aunt’s house?”

“Your aunt’s house?” She sounded legitimately confused. I could relate. “You said you effed up.”

“You think I—” Her eyes widened in shock. “No. Fucked up like I accidentally told my cousin, Nora, about you. Not fucked up like I accidentally took you to see your ex!”

“We’re at your aunt’s house?” I asked again. It felt like I was back in college algebra, being asked to solve for X when the rest of the data was all mixed up.

She glanced at the house. “Yes. Aunt Linore’s. She’s Darius’s mom.”

“And Matt’s not here?”

“No!” She threw her head back, frustrated. “Look, I told Nora. She told her mom, who told my mom, who told Aunt Linore. They held an impromptu family meeting and decided I had to bring you here to meet everyone. The only people in that house are the nosy, invasive women in my crazy-ass family. I fucked up, because now they’re going to be all up in your business, like they are in mine, and I don’t want that for you.”

Dropping my phone back into my purse, I let out a breath and collapsed against the back of my seat. Now that the threat had been extinguished, I was exhausted. I hated the way my entire body still trembled, but there was no help for that. I’d have to breathe through it until my heart stopped trying to bust out of my chest.

Carisa stared at me like she needed a better explanation for my insane behavior. “The marriage didn’t end well,” I said, somehow managing to minimize the entirety of my toxic relationship into five little inadequate words.

“I can tell.” She scoffed. “What I don’t understand is why you think I would sell you out to him. Or to anyone, for that matter.”

“I don’t. I… It’s complicated. Matt is very…” I’d offended her, and I felt bad about that, but I didn’t know strong enough words to describe him. To make sense of our bizarre situation. “He always knows what to say. People believe him. I had evidence of his lies, andIbelieved him. He made me question things I saw with my own eyes. He made me feel like I was going crazy. Like I didn’t deserve… anything.”

Seconds ticked by as I stared at my feet, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Just talking about him made me feel weak and vulnerable.

Finally, Carisa grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to meet her gaze. “Darius said your ex was a piece of shit. I get it. The asshole obviously screwed you over good. But you need to understand something. My cousin—who I would walk through fire for—is all about you and your son.”

I started to object, but she held up a hand, silencing me. “Don’t even try to deny it. I know Darius better than anyone, and I’ve never seen him like this before. He likes you, and the more I get to know you, the more I understand why. You’re good for each other. You have a real shot at happiness. That is a rare thing, and I would never take it away from you. Or him.”

My brain tried to process that information, feeding me memories of the way Kaos looked at me. Of the little touches and near misses. Was she right? Was he into me?

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